So, this might get old --- but anyone who is willing to give advice, I'd really and truly appreciate anything.
I'm in an early transition stage, but I am going to go for it.  This was me tonight, my first time out in female attire.  I'm pretty bold as an individual, so I just decided to do it.  It's only the fourth time I have completely been dressed up, but I felt good and that's what matters.

If you view this, can you please help by being brutally honest?  I am transitioning no matter if I can pass right now or not, but every girl needs a little advice along the way.  So, if you feel I don't pass, tell me what sticks out --- if you feel I pass more than not, tell me what looks more feminine so I can continue to enhance these features.  ANY advice is really helpful, given my naturally big build!


Thanks --- I really, really appreciate the advice.  Friends/family are too biased in general, I just need some responses from strangers at this point in a safe area.






PS: My stats, 5'9", very broad shoulders, big hands (as you can see) and 175lbs (losing).

Brutally honest?

I understand the need for foundation, but pick a shade that resembles a living human!
The blush does not look very realistic either.
How about smiling?

On the plus side, I don't think that you have any insurmountable obstacles.

Thank-you. Unfortunately, I really am that white. Haha, I know it's so sad. I am originally from Europe and my ancestors are so white, that the next skin tone shade is probably see-through.  Some light bronzer would help, I was just afraid of over-doing it.  THANK-you about the blush suggestion.  I love blush, but I realize genetic females aren't always so inclined to get so rosy... I guess I just want to live in the 80s.

Sadly, my smile I feel is so manly.  I feel it's the ultimate giveaway.



Thank-you again for responding so honestly, I need it.

I feel your face looks fake white like a mime also in the first pic. I also think it isn't your shoulders so much as lack of hips that stand out. Your smile is fine, your chin shows tho, maybe blend a darker shade onto your jawline/chin.


eh, I'm no make up person so may want to look elsewhere for that advice.

My advice is to go to some place like a Macy's and then pick a makeup counter and get a makeover done.  Then buy the makeup that was used and learn to use it.  Still... That is what I do and I am not always happy...  I have gone back over and over again but when it finally works, you will know it.

But transition isn't just about makeup and passing.  Transition is a process and I didn't feel like I "passed" until after finally being able to have FFS done.  BAS helped a lot also.

PS, pictures posted on websites like this can sometimes prevent you from ever being able to pass, no matter how well you "pass".  For some reason the F2Ms seem to realize this more than the M2Fs but I suspect that the vanity component of a M2F transition causes some to be careless.

When I move and start over then "passing" will be a lot easier because I won't have to overcome pre-conceived notions, prejudices, old perceptions and rumors.

learn to use it

Hey, how do you get to Carnegie Hall?  Practice young girl, practice.  Same deal with makeup.

I'd say:

The face closeups look okay -- smile I don't think is the problem, more the jawline, but not enough that people would stop and point at you (but it's hard to tell from photos).

The one in the mirror is less convincing for a number of reasons -- the lighting is bad which is never good for us (or girls in general really), the hair starts to look a bit wig-ish compared to the face photos, and the clothes don't seem to be the right ones for obscuring the things that you mentioned (broad shoulders, larger hands).

Not sure what to do about the hair, but for clothes there are a few things:  prints (as opposed to solid colors) can do a good job at hiding the broad shoulders, as the eye gets lost in the patterns and has more trouble making out the outline of the body.  Dark colors are worse than light colors as well, as darks will usually contrast more with your surroundings, highlighting the body outline.  For the hands, long sleeves (especially in dark colors) are not so good as they put a focus on the hands, where as with shorter sleeves you see more of the arm.  Doesn't need to be t-shirt sleeves -- 3/4 sleeves or elbow length will help, but of course sleeveless would be too much in the opposite direction.

Another thing (and I say this in all seriousness) is to try shirts that show a little more skin in the neck area.  Doesn't have to be far enough to show actual cleavage, but a decent scoopneck or v-neck will help immensely.  The crew-neck style shirt in the picture sort of blocks out your whole upper body as one outline, whereas a scoopneck will split it up into your shirt, and then the exposed skin area below your neck, which helps to break up the upper body outline.  Its the inverse of the 'greater than the sum of its parts' saying.

These are all things that could be improvements, but it's nearly impossible to tell you whether you'll pass or not from photos alone -- would need a video of you walking around a bit to tell you that (and even then it would be iffy).

I think digital cameras are brutal.  Apparently there is such a thing as too much detail.

Consider tops that are shaped to give the illusion of hips, or give width at the hips. Flared or "princess seamed" shirts or long empire waisted shirts can work nicely.

The way you're standing in the bottom pic doesn't pass. The hand on the hip, weight on one side is fine, but do you see how you're sort of turning your right leg to one side at the hip and extending it away from you? That's not a standard female pose - it's actually something a lot of guys do in tight jeans (it reads "cowboy in Wranglers" to me, which is at odds with the rest of the image). Try keeping the leg your weight isn't on facing straight forward at the hip.

Definitely go for a makeover,  It really helps.  Also get a microderm abrasion because you have the same rough skin I have.  It helps too.

Otherwise you look good.

Thank-you girls and guys.

I'm going to take these all into consideration.  I really appreciate the support and guidance.  I know this journey is going to be a long one and even posting this is such an early, "baby-like" thing to do --- just to get reassurance, but in a strange way it is comforting.  I'm sure a lot of you can relate in many ways and I appreciate you humoring me.

Thank-you so much...
~Andie

Quote from: andie723 on February 27, 2010, 06:46:22 PM
Thank-you girls and guys.~Andie

You look fine...that waist and that hair helps a lot!
Fill out those slim hips with loose skirts..sure its old fashioned female stereotyping but thats what you want to be isn't it?

Remember it's not all about looks, the way you speak and act are essential markers of gender which other people absorb subconciously. Even if you looked like an angry bulldog (which you patently do not!!) if you can speak in the female voice range, dress and act appropriately, people will log you as female.
Good luck with your transition!

I think you look nice. I think the camera close ups really so you as very white though. The tips from above will help you though. Of course I wish I looked even that good. 

Hugs,
Sally

Your facial physicality is very good but you would probably look and pass far better without as much make up on!

Since your face is so white, you really should use less make-up. The more you put on the worse it looks and makes you stand out. remember less is more . I Also think your eyebrows could be a lil thinner not really thin but a lil more off that would really change your whole face.

Also a good trick is longer hair on your face it gives your face a  feminine shape. the pic in the mirror makes it looks wig-gish and it points you right to your jawline.

On a brighter note you have VERY feminine eyes. with a lil more practice you'll be one hot dish

I don't have much to add because I'm not knowledgeable about these things. But I thought I should point out that it's nice that you're not six feet tall--that should help you in the long run.

To compensate for your hips, can you get padded undergarments?

AHHHH girls/guys...

I went out tonight on a date and ... I PASSED SO WELL (in my opinion, I guess).  I mean, my date kept telling me that I passed pretty well... but I was very nervous, this being my second time.  Tonight, a girl came right up to me and asked me for a cigarette and I said, "sorry, I don't have any" and she went right back asking others --- then finally back to her friends.  It was so strange the way she looked at me, almost with no emotion in her eyes --- so much different than when a woman would look at me as a male --- crazy. It just made me so happy that she had no idea.  And after that experience, I talked to everyone I could to practice, without any comments or whispers!  And the icing on the cake, a guy (other than my date) even held the door open for me to look at me go through.. haha!  So, *so* liberating.

I also took everyone's advice and toned things down on the foundation --- maybe that helped, too.

And Arch, yes... I need padded undergarments badly... you're completely right.

Trust me, Andie723,  They do work.  I use them because I am still boy shaped from the waist down.

Quote from: andie723 on March 01, 2010, 12:37:16 AM
And Arch, yes... I need padded undergarments badly... you're completely right.

Personally, I'm attracted to women who are boyish-looking in certain ways. I think a girl with short hair, broad shoulders, small breasts, and slim hips is dead sexy. To look at, anyway. But I'm only sexually attracted to men. Too bad, because I get the impression that a lot of trans women wouldn't mind my lack of lower equipment. Sigh.