My little brother has been giving me a very hard time lately. He is saying the rudest of things and will not acknowledge that what he is saying really hurts me a lot. He refuses to call me by my chosen name. It would be okay if he would keep his feelings about this to himself but he always feels the need to bring up how much I "embarrass" him, how I am a "dude" and not a woman, how I will always be his brother and not his sister and that I he thinks I am just doing this for attention.

I think I have come to terms with the fact that He will never accept me for who I am.... but it still stings a lot whenever I hear his onslaught of ignorant and hateful (and sometimes very selfish) comments. It is so true when they say that those who you care about have the power to hurt you the most. How does everyone else here cope with family who refuse to even try to understand you and those who feel they have to be overly vocal about how much they are displeased with you?

Simple answer is, you can't.

This is sibling rivalry. As normal and old as families.

Your brother thinks you are getting the attention he should. Normally, in a similar situation, a little brother would just find a way to upstage you. But here, he can't think of one so he's attacking you emotionally.

You have a choice. Either you can be the big sister and rise above it. Or, you can cave in and become a miserable wreak.

The only way to deal with this is to act as the more mature, big sister.

I dunno. My sibs have been rather good but then they are all grown up. But that must be really hard Rachel.

Well, I would first think to just tell them to f off. But really you could try to talk to them about what they are feeling - "this must be really hard on you hey, do your friends give you a hard time about it, must be hard seeing all the attention our parents give me and not giving so much to you, not really fair. Do you miss having an older brother, that must be hard too" That sort of thing.  But if they ever needed any help they should come see you, you are still their big sister and you still love them no matter what, even if they are a little ->-bleeped-<-. I would approach them rather than wait till they attack you first.

What do yo parents think of all this?

Besides what Nicky said, How old is he?

I think he kind of accepted you, since he's still talking to you. I think he will eventually come around, depending on his age, it's quite normal really.

If he outright reject you then he would calling you some ugly names, rather than saying you want attention, which a lot siblings would say for less "serious" issues.