Quote from: Megan on April 08, 2010, 10:35:11 PM
You pass kind of well, but more of the Velma type from Scooby Doo.

Hey that could be seen as a good thing ya know... Apparently according to the internet Velma Dinkley is extremely appealing to for guys with alternate tastes of sex appeal and her whole design is infact a scaffold for the authors to stick their own fetishes onto... But they were not alone others picked up on it.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Meganekko
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ZettaiRyouiki
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SweaterGirl
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20061029002012AAwKh52
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NerdsAreSexy

I had no idea but yeah look at the internet and there are whole websites devoted to this stuff.

I know that me smiling helps me pass it makes my eyebrows go up & arch thus they become a female cue, But I can only smile so much before my face becomes tired!

Hey - no imposters please - I am Velma!

I agree with whoever said thick rimmed glasses probably would look really cute.  That and some make up and you'll be set.  You don't need a lot of makeup, but just a little bit will help a ton.  That's true of every girl too.

Quote from: stardust on April 08, 2010, 07:08:34 PM
Yeah, I totally agree, wait for a while and a while means years, 2-3. I've been on HRT for two years and its only this past month that I feel confident in my looks and see a female face (others might not agree but so what). I thought I needed ffs two/three years ago, now I'm not so sure, but perhaps still some nose work. So in answer, a little makeup and a whole lot of time.

Stardust

You look amazing stardust and not many of us look the way you do or have the same sort of female physical development. It is a struggle with many of us and I would feel very confident if I looked half as good as you do!

If "passing" is the determining factor in being "out", I say rethink.  Existing by living a life that fits ''you, the person" is your best hope of being at peace, regardless of what sex the world perceives you to be.  I speak this as one who only marginally passes, and learned everything I could to perfect my look with the 'assembly' god gave me.  5 years after the beginning of my transition, I look a whole lot better and learned to take the abuse of crappy people with style and grace.

Advice from others is very helpful, as is gaining confidence through the support of others, but ultimately it is our own choice to become at peace with our own bodies when we look in the mirror.  Even a gorgous supermodel must learn to accept her flaws.   

Quote from: VTkelly on April 10, 2010, 06:22:45 PM
If "passing" is the determining factor in being "out", I say rethink.  Existing by living a life that fits ''you, the person" is your best hope of being at peace, regardless of what sex the world perceives you to be.  I speak this as one who only marginally passes, and learned everything I could to perfect my look with the 'assembly' god gave me.  5 years after the beginning of my transition, I look a whole lot better and learned to take the abuse of crappy people with style and grace.

Advice from others is very helpful, as is gaining confidence through the support of others, but ultimately it is our own choice to become at peace with our own bodies when we look in the mirror.  Even a gorgous supermodel must learn to accept her flaws.   

An interesting sentiment but what if me the person dosen't want to attract that kind of attention or wear my condition impersonally on my sleeve for everyone in the world to see, or feels empathy shares the discomfort of others if they are uncomfortable talking to me,
What if my dysphora also extends into these social aspects of my life? How can I expect them to treat me a certain way if I make no effort at all to ease there own perceptions

If it's wrong for me to want to look and project the appearance of a reasonably normal approachable person when walking down the street then I guess I'm just a terrible shallow person.

I can totally appreciate and respect your concerns and careful considerations.  Here's a slice of my life:
I work full time as a licensed professional electrician.  AND have sufficient features to be 'read' without much effort.  One of my major clients is one of the nations largest restaurant franchisers.  They were my client long before I transitioned (and believe me, I was scared as hell that I wouldn't be able to keep them!)  I spend much time in the field, servicing their electrical, voice, data, POS and communication systems.  When I walk into one of their establishments, I put on my confident face, and act like I own the joint.    I must also be very friendly, personable, and disarming in my interaction with them.  Within minutes they must know that I am a regular person, and will treat them with the same respect I receive.  Though my "trans-ness" is worn on my sleeve by lack of option, I have little trouble.  Even in those instances where I do get 'the look', 'the stare', the uneasy caution, or worse yet, some smart comments or snickers, I handle them with an apparent comfort, sometimes going out of my way to show them I'm really ok.  It took years of practice.  It took swallowing alot of pride and sometimes anger.  It took many, many times of having my blood swirling as I walked onto the job.  And at the end of the day, I also knew I was better than any person who would judge me without a right to.

I share these things with you because I feel as though you seem ready to let society force you into hiding yourself... which is truly unfair.    On the flip side, I can respect that we all do what we need to to save ourselves from destruction... and time will determine to what extent your feminine being will be visible in order to be at peace with yourself, NOT the world around you.  Dealing with the sh**heads of the world is an art we refine each day.   

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Post Merge: April 10, 2010, 09:02:23 PM

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p.s., I also dress like the cutest electrician you'll ever meet, even at age 45.  Who says we can't wear black stretchy scoop neck tee's, trendy jeans, and skechers chunky heeled work boots?   

Quote from: VTkelly on April 10, 2010, 06:22:45 PM
If "passing" is the determining factor in being "out", I say rethink.  Existing by living a life that fits ''you, the person" is your best hope of being at peace, regardless of what sex the world perceives you to be. 

I'll never agree with that kind of statement!

I understand the sentiment Kelly is expressing, and I think it's a good one.

Most of us want to pass.  We want to have some sort of normalcy to our lives.  We don't want to be the butt of jokes and derision on a constant daily basis.  We just want to live our lives free of harassment. 

Some of us are lucky.  We either start young.  Or have rather exceptional results on HRT when older.

Some of us aren't so lucky.  For some, there is no way that we will ever pass.  People will know...with some it will be rather obvious, and we'll have to deal with it...or live with our head in the sand our entire lives.

Pebbles:  It doesn't make you shallow to desire a life free from the discrimination that can sometimes come with being obviously trans.  Nor does it make you shallow to desire a certain asthetic look that you prefer.   It simply makes you human.

In beginning this road, you never really know where you'll end up.  HRT is just too much of a crap shoot.  I'm 36.  I'm only 3 months on HRT, but if I put my own pictures up here, I wouldn't get anything better than "Androgynous man" (which isn't nearly as good as "Androgynous boy."  With youth, there is much potential.)  I'm not sure if I will ever pass.  Though for me, there is no other road.  I succeed, or I die.  There is no going back.  Whether I pass...or whether I don't. 

Everyone has their own needs.  Everyone has their own timeframe.  I'm not out yet, and it's going to be a very interesting next 2 years while I try to balance whatever changes HRT brings...with when I decide to tell others.  If I'm lucky, HRT won't give me much of a choice about needing to come out.  If I'm not...then I may stay under the radar and save a bit more, knowing that I could be fired when I do.  But in the end, it will come.  One way or another.  In the end, when I do come out, I will have to own it with confidence...and show people who I am.
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Confidence in who you are really does mean a lot though.  (Yes, even faking that confidence) If you avert your eyes in shame when you pass people on the street, more people will confront what they see as an easy target.  If you look them straight in the eye and give a friendly smile, they're less likely to...whether that be because of your disarming friendliness or the resistance they would expect from someone so confident.
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Confidence.  In knowing who you are.  In knowing that you have a right to be who you are.  Regardless of whether you're pretty as a rose, or as ugly as warthog.  None of us know what HRT or the future will bring.  I don't think Kelly is at all saying "throw caution to the wind."  It's all about you, and what you need to be happy.  In the end though, regardless of what physical changes time does, or does not, bring...you have a choice:  You can:
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Quote from: VTkelly on April 10, 2010, 06:22:45 PM
Exist(x) by living a life that fits ''you, the person" (as) your best hope of being at peace, regardless of what sex the world perceives you to be. 

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Or you can be miserable for the rest of your life...burying your head in the sand.
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Is it scary to think about?  Not passing at all?  Hell yes.  It scares me every day.  I'm 36, big boned, with very Germanic features.  I know the odds.  I know what HRT can and can't do.  And while I hope for the best...I know full well what I'm getting into....and it scares the hell out of me.
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But living life as I have for the past 36 years scares me even more.  Living in constant fear is not at all worthwhile.  One way or another, if it's something you NEED to do...eventually you're going to do it.  Damn the fears, damn the asthetics, damn the world.   
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Own your life...find peace...and find the happiness you deserve...regardless of the hand nature deals you.