Quote from: jesse on April 23, 2010, 04:02:00 AM
arch i would never have guessed you were close to my age for whatever reason i always got the vibe you were in your 20's when i read your posts
Interesting. I thought you were much younger because you look so young in your avatar. That IS you, isn't it?
I'm actually pretty confused about my age. Intellectually, I know that I'm in my forties. Emotionally, I'm stunted in certain ways. I sort of froze myself at thirteen, in my head...I lived whole lives up there as a teenager, even till I was your age. I would start out at thirteen, live through an arc, reach fifteen or sixteen, and then start all over again at thirteen.
Now that I'm out of the closet and transitioning, I feel more like a backward nineteen-year-old who is just getting his start in the world. I still want to do all of this teenage boy stuff, but I have to be mature. I suppose if I were a little older, people might read me as a man who is going through a midlife crisis. But I have no desire to buy a sports car and date a twentysomething blonde. No, I want to bump into other guys, wrestle around, waste gobs of time, have no responsibilities, drive my car too fast, and crank up the volume on my stereo, whether I'm playing The Police or Puccini.
I'll tell you, though, I was VERY glad to have an early menopause. Even with the hot flashes. And, truth to tell, it was a relief to get rid of the tampons. I suppose it's rather horrible of me, but I found myself thinking, "If some gal needs a tampon, it won't help her to come running to ME." Yeah, I'm still pretty insecure about my manhood.

P.S. Spacial, I see where you're coming from, but I think we're fated to disagree on this one. If you think about it, people do all sorts of things to fit in with other people...why shouldn't a trans gal carry a couple of tampons if it will make her feel like she fits in better? Not to mention that a sister will appreciate it somewhere down the road.