so i had surgery almost a year ago with brassard.  Im pleased with the depth 5 1/2 "and appearance.  I just cant seem to orgasm with a partner though.  Ive been able to with myself and a vibrator but even that takes awhile to get there.  Any thoughts on this from anyone. 

How long after surgery did it take to orgasm during intercourse for others here postop. 

Dear Audrey,

SRS is overrated, even the surgeons who perform admit it is an imperfect surgery.

The reason you may not be able to orgasm with a partner can be psychological or physical.

1) You might be low in testesterone, you can be prescribed just enough to help with your libido and sexual functioning without causing unwanted effects.
2) There are no sexually sensate receptors in the vagina as far as I'm aware. Post-ops usually find their clitoris or surrounding area and the entry of the vagina stimulating. Maybe try stimulating your clitoris during sex.
3) You may not be relaxed enough, foreplay or more of it can help.
4) A patient partner you are very attracted to could be good
5) You know your body better than anyone else, that's why masturbation is usually better than sex or anyone else stimulating you.

You need to remember everybody is different; however, you are not alone, it takes me a long time as well. 

Quote from: Audrey on May 12, 2010, 11:41:47 AM
so i had surgery almost a year ago with brassard.  Im pleased with the depth 5 1/2 "and appearance.  I just cant seem to orgasm with a partner though.  Ive been able to with myself and a vibrator but even that takes awhile to get there.  Any thoughts on this from anyone. 

How long after surgery did it take to orgasm during intercourse for others here postop.

Perhaps you are putting too much pressure on yourself to achieve orgasm with a partner.  I happen to agree with Jade with her point regarding a little testosterone.  I've heard of this helping other post op girls with same difficulties.  I know I will be discussing this with my GP following my surgery in September

Most sex is in the mind.

Having said that foreplay is soooo important for a female. Most men think sex is something that can be over and done in ten minutes. That can work occasionally but more often it takes a lot longer for a woman. I need somewhere between 30 minutes to an hour of foreplay to get properly warmed up. My guess would be that perhaps your lover is going in for the kill too soon and isn't getting you properly started up to begin with.

Penetration should be the final act in a long performance - and NOT the whole darned Show!

I have been very lucky. All my lovers have been exceptionally good and I have seldom if ever failed to hit the top.

Based purely on my own experience I would have to disagree with Jade about the imperfections of SRS. From what I hear from my women friends I probably have, if anything, a better experience during sex than some of them, but I think it is important to understand that we are all different and the result of any medical process will be different for some than for others. Just as indeed some natal females have more difficulty that others in hitting orgasm.

Many natal women don't orgasm during sex. It isn't an unusual thing at all.

Research into it has shown that somewhere between 50 and 70 percent of natal woman can not reach orgasm from sex alone. They require the added stimulus of a well placed vibrator or a skilled hand.

Somewhere around 10% of natal women in the states have never reached orgasm at all.

So don't feel the slightest bit worried.
You're very well within the realm of normal.

thanks all.  i think i just need to become a little more comfortable with him.  weve been dating about two months now so i think in time it will be better.  I need to train him lol

well.. yea i would just try to relax with your partner more

if it helps.. I have female parts.. and I have not ben able to reach orgasm with my partner either

Quote from: rejennyrated on May 12, 2010, 01:10:03 PM
Most sex is in the mind.

Having said that foreplay is soooo important for a female. Most men think sex is something that can be over and done in ten minutes. That can work occasionally but more often it takes a lot longer for a woman. I need somewhere between 30 minutes to an hour of foreplay to get properly warmed up. My guess would be that perhaps your lover is going in for the kill too soon and isn't getting you properly started up to begin with.

Penetration should be the final act in a long performance - and NOT the whole darned Show!

Absolutely agree with everything there, Iv now a good understanding with my boyfriend, he knows what pleases and frustrates me, foreplay is very important to me, being held, cuddled and kissed, I need time and lots of it, then when he does penetrate me and shoots his juice, its over for him, he loses interest and just wants to turn over and sleep it off, I find that frustrating, thats why we leave it till last, its a big climax and very big deal for him, then its over, he doesn't hang around, why??? Because he's a guy, I want it to last, why??? Because Im a woman, we just have to learn to accomodate each other, but gosh when he does hold and cuddle me, he makes me feel so feminine and womanly, its a pity about the ending sometimes.
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