the title pretty much sum's the whole topic up.
What would you change when you came out, should you have done it sooner or changed the way that you came out?

By the way, I also did use the Search butten, but nothing came up.

Everyone "already knew" with me more or less.

Apparently it's not that well hidden.
If I'd told at certain times especially the pre-puberty thing, the situation could have been alot different for me.

I plan on starting hrt this summer, and coming out maybe in the fall.My wasn't so much coming out sooner as knowing sooner.Until last fall I had only heard of ->-bleeped-<-s and ->-bleeped-<-s on Jerry Springer and Maury,then I saw a trans woman on Oprah, and my whole perspective of trans people changed, I actually started understanding that it wasn't just about sexual perversion.After that I went through months of denial and prayer and finally came to the conclusion that I couldn't change how I felt.I then started to do some research on everything that had to do with trans-people.I always wish that I had accepted myself sooner and even more so, I wish I had found out that I was trans sooner.Of course that probably  wouldn't have mattered because Ive only been a legal adult for a year and my family being the good Christians that they are would never allow me to do anything about it.

Everyone in my life has been pretty accepting, so I wouldn't change how I came out. I probably could have been more tactful about coming out, I'm quite lucky that family and friends have so easily accepted me. I wish I came out sooner, but I think everyone does. I'll never get back those wasted years (queue Iron Maiden song ), also like everyone knows HRT works better the younger one is.  I feel kinda stupid after how accepting my family has been, I should have told them sooner .

I can't say for certain what would have happened if I did this or I did that though, maybe things would've been better or maybe I would have got hit by a bus! Just never know .

i kind of stumbled into comming out so it didnt really matter one can only hide things for so long before all the little cracks connect and the flood gate opens
jessica

Nother one like Pebbles here. Everyone knew since the year dot, and given that it was the 1960's I was lucky to be allowed to grow up with non conforming (female) gender expression.

I first came out aged 5 - of all in all places in a Clarkes shoe shop in Kensington High Street! I think on mature refelection I might spare my mother the embarrassment of the location 

The one thing I would change is the therapist I saw aged 17. Instead of helping me he put me through an early form of reparative therapy, which did no good and led directly to my involving other people in my pain by my choices during that period of enforced cross living as a man.

I came out to my parents when I was about 13 (a number of decades ago ) Well it was sort of coming out I just told them I was a girl. It didn't go down well. When I came to Australia I came out to my girl friend before we married. Now a days, as I posted some where before, I have a tendency to come out to every Tom, Dick and Harry, and many Sheilas. Yes I should have transitioned eons ago but there is no going back only forward.

Cindy

Quote from: rejennyrated on May 18, 2010, 03:21:06 AM
Nother one like Pebbles here. Everyone knew since the year dot, and given that it was the 1960's I was lucky to be allowed to grow up with non conforming (female) gender expression.

Well my case was alittle different from yours jenny in so much that I didn't know that they knew but everybody knew before I told them I was kept out of the loop that everyone knew my deep secret. And my "big reveal" was an undramatic anti-climax of "Yeah we all know."

I waited 8 years before telling my family. It still isn't going down well with them and I doubt it ever will. I definitely regret not saying that at least I was feeling weird about my body when I was ten.

Kinda of depends on the coming out thing but for the most part that was when I was 45. As with all decisions, there ore some things I regret about it and other things I am happy I waited.  It isn't worth dwelling on, you can't change it, you can only keep living and learning.

I figured out what was wrong with me at age 9.
I waited 32 years before I came out.
Considering the amount of suport and love I have recieved from my family and friends I wish I would have came out when I was 11 and moved out of my religious nutter grandmothers home. But by then I was so thouroughly indoctrinated into the church's beliefs that coming out would have been near impossible.

Yes I regret it everyday, I walk by my mirror and see the longterm damage that T has done to me that will never reverse.

My coming-out was so successful that I don't know that I would change anything.  I wasn't ready before and did it when I was ready. 

My parents died almost 20 years ago and I'm really very sorry my mother didn't get a chance to see her "lost child" become the happy woman I now am - she would have loved how I blossomed at long last.

- Kate

I 'came out' to people relatively early.  I am hoping to start HRT soon and FT after Christmas.  I came out to my parents/sister last summer along with many of my close friends (that didn't already know).  I came out to my boss/director last spring.  I came out to the people I work closely with last Christmas, and everybody else I work with in April.  Finally everyone I volunteer with last week.

The only thing I would have changed (so far) would be to come out to my family earlier.  They are having the hardest time adapting, and I think they just need time.  A year and a half isn't a lot of time for them to get used to it before full time.  They are also the most important people in my life. 

But coming out for me was really empowering.  Once everyone knew that I was trans and intending to transition, my fear of transition greatly decreased.  I also felt sooo much better about myself being honest to everyone around me.  Lots of my friends are interested in the process and I am really happy that when I come to school with a red face from electrolysis, I can tell them the truth, and talk openly too them about the difficulties with transition.

good luck...
jenna!

20 plus years ago, I came out.  My Dad simply said "Not in my house".  I was transitioning for about 6 months in when life caught up with me and I had to go back into the closet.  For those six months a good friend of mine and her family was my only outlet.  For the next year, my friend and I stayed in touch.  About a year later, this friend and I married.

For the next 20 years, I tried to be the husband she needed.  But 10 years in, it came back with a vengeance.  I tried to bury it, but 2 1/2 years ago I finally told my wife that I had to transition.  My suicide attempt sealed our break up.

During one of our many fights, I accused her of infidelity.  She shoot back at me that I have been cheating on her for years, and that I was "the other woman".     Now we laugh about it, as we are still friends.   Many knew but never told me.

i cant tell u the regret i feel for not comin out sooner..i wish i came out when i was 14 but alas i waited till it was too late..im 29 now and my dad committed suicide last year - all i wish is to go back a year or two so i could have a REAL converstaion w/ him about who i really am...to all those ponderin comin out - DO IT NOW fore its too late

Quote from: jesse on May 18, 2010, 03:17:09 AM
i kind of stumbled into comming out so it didnt really matter one can only hide things for so long before all the little cracks connect and the flood gate opens
jessica

That is how it was in my case.

i came out recently, im 29. i wish i would come out when i knew when i was 15

I regret not looking into HRT during puberty when I realized I didn't want to be a boy. I couldn't have payed for it but I was under aged so maybe someone would have helped me, I dunno. That would have been ideal, I would have developed relatively normal except for the "extra baggage" if you catch my drift . Instead I decided to ignore the idea and act like a guy. I wasn't really living in denial but I ignored who I really was to avoid people hating me. It was my little secret until this year when I had a revelation that I was completely unhappy with being a guy and it was really the root of all my depression. So I made a choice and came out to my sister and mum at 19. Hopefully I'll be starting HRT sometime soon and living part time! I know it will be tough but it's the best decision I've ever made.

I came out at 23 and went on hormones and fulltime just after that.  My family doesnt accept this at all, and it's been 4 years. I am struggling with not coming out earlier.  I never adopted a male persona and even psuedo told my mom at 11, but they still acted like they had no clue.  I regret not starting in my teens.  People say 23 is still pretty young, but I feel like I waited too long and will never forgive myself for it.

Laying aside that there was no practical possibility of coming out in MS in the 70's (i.e. as a teen) my window of opportunity was between the time I graduated high school in '81 and the time I got married in '89 (18-26 roughly)

I GREATLY mourn the fact that I didn't do so then.

Once that window was closed, it's irrelevant. There's hell to pay either way.