I went out with my best friend tonight (this is the guy I came out to first, he's awesome and I love him). It's becoming really obvious that he's been doing research, finding out about trans stuff, he's trying so hard to be supportive and sensitive, to the point of being able to use my female name and pronouns consistently around my husband and male ones everywhere else. He was totally not informed about trans issues before and had even said some vaguely transphobic stuff when the subject came up, but now he's an advocate, and he's better about the gender role switching even than I am.
Anyway, we went out to the place we usually go out to and he ran into a friend I haven't met before. He introduced me by my guy name, I shook his friend's hand and told her it was nice to meet her. They talked for a while. Turns out she (a butch lesbian) was there with a gay male friend she wanted to set my friend up with. So the first thin she asked him, he told me when we were alone again, was:
Quote"That guy you're here with, is he someone you're interested in?"
So I pass in a gay environment to a butch lesbian - I pass well enough to be seen as a potential sexual interest for my friend (who by the way is f'ing hot and is known for getting incredibly hot guys). I also pass well enough to not even get a second glance when I use the men's room, even though I'm still terribly nervous about it (in a gay bar they're not going to sexually assault me, but I'm still scared that they'll clock me and think I'm some sort of pervert chick). There's no door on the one stall in the men's room there, but I'm getting used to it, and it's ok. The only people there who know me as female are my friend and the bartender who's seen my name on my credit card, who gives me free drinks, so I'm not complaining! Everyone else treats me as male, and I'm slowly beginning to recognize when gay guys are cruising me. It's like a whole new world. I'm so elated!
Forgive the drunk post. I'm just so excited and I need to get it out.