My mother have had a rocky relationship most of my adult life.
She went bat->-bleeped-<- when my dad [her husband] died, and never really recovered. I think she was always mentally ill, but went off the deep end after losing her husband.
August of last year, my husband passed away. My mother said some of the most hurtful, cruel things possible during this period of time. Being that she was my mother, and granting her a little leeway since I'm sure it reminded her of losing her own husband, I decided to forgive and move on.
Christmas of last year, her long-time boyfriend and I had a bit of a confrontation [over their yappy dog trying to steal food from my plate], and we didn't speak for a few months.
February, we went through the long, drawn-out "gun saga". Last time her father [my grandfather] was out here visiting, I'd been helping him look for property that he and I were going to purchase together. He's getting older, and I wanted to move him closer so that I could help take care of him. The property was also to be a vacation home for my family.
While he was here, he found a rifle he was rather fond of, and I purchased it on his behalf [since not being a state resident, he could not], and we agreed that I would keep it at my house until he moved out here.
After my husband passed away, it was decided that I could not afford to help him purchase property, and my mother decided she was unwilling to make up the difference to help her dad out. She contacted me in February, asking me to give her the rifle so she could mail it to my grandfather.
You can't just send a rifle through the mail. Its illegal. And the rifle was registered in my name, so I'll be damned if I was going to let it be illegally sent through the mail. Hence the rifle saga [it eventually got worked out, after about a week of arguing with my mother re: the law, and the only way to legally ship guns, from one gun store to another]
After that, she and I didn't really speak, and it was clear there was a lot of hostility.
In March, after receiving my T-letter, I decided it was time to start coming out to family. I came out to my younger brother first, because I was still unsure if I even wanted to contact my mother to tell her.
After coming out to my brother, I decided that regardless of whether or not my mom and I had any relationship, I didn't want my brother to bear the burden of either keeping it secret from her, or having to be the one to tell her.
So, I sent her a 6 page letter, at the end of which I explained that I understood my coming out was a lot to deal with, and didn't expect an immediate response from her in regards to her feelings about everything, but if she could just drop me a line to let me know she had in fact received the letter, I'd be very appreciative.
Weeks went by, and finally my brother informed me that she had in fact received the letter, and asked him if he knew about it as well.
That was March. It is now May. I have not received a single word from her, since.
Per my brother, she is refusing to speak to me, and has informed both him and my Aunt that she intends to fight me for custody of MY son, should I move forward with my plans to transition.
I consider myself disowned, although ultimately, it has very little to do with my gender identity, and far more to do with the fact that my mother most likely suffers from borderline personality disorder, and is simply manipulative and cruel, and has finally hit upon the perfect way to play the victim.
The sad part of the whole ordeal is that when my son was born, I sold the home we were living in at the time, and bought a house costing twice as much, simply so my son could grow up near his grandmother.
I live five minutes away.
She hasn't seen her grandson since Christmas.
