Wish me luck! I'm seeing my therapist today who is also a ftm and I'm going to see if he can get me referred to an endo. I feel like I've hit a brick wall in my transition.  I'm feeling really depressed at the moment and don't like talking in front of strangers cos it gives me away.  I hate my stupid polite girl voice that comes out when I'm being served somewhere.

Just wanna dig myself into a hole in the ground right now.  It is probably the change of seasons too.

Good luck! I hope your therapist is understanding. It can be really hard at times, when you make some progress then something holds you back and it feels like what you need is just out of your reach. Crossing my fingers for you.

good luck dude!

if it makes you feel any better.. I am feeling a bit down and dysphoric too.. I just look in the mirror, and wanna punch it and break it into shards..

PM me if you wanna.. talk to someone.

Good luck mate. Things will get better, someday soon your lame-ass girl voice will be a distant memory. Yeah, like Elijah I'm just a PM away if you need to vent or whatever else.

Thanks guys. I just feel like such a loser sometimes, which is stupid.

Oh wait and I just realised I haven't had the monthly in ages...so yeah. And I always get super depressed before. I hate being a boy with pms.

I guess whenever you are sad about PMS, or your voice.. just think that it isnt forever.

You are going to pass as male so well man.. you are already very handsome, and your voice will fix soon.

Yeah it isn't.  I always feel a bit better when I realise it is just my dumb wrong hormones making me feel bad.

You are also very handsome, so thanks, I appreciate that 

Best of luck Dude!

Thanks!

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Post Merge: May 25, 2010, 08:05:29 PM

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Ok off to see my therapist now...HERE'S HOPING!

Best of luck man!  Let us know how it goes. 

Good luck I hope you feel better once you get on T

Ok I went to see him and he says he can't write the letter.  In NZ at least its done like, you get yr GP to refer you to the endo and the endo requires a psych report.

Luckily I have an appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow. I have already been seeing him for a year and a half for a mood disorder, I'm now very stable.  I told him last time I saw him I was presenting as male and he said I seemed to be in a really good space.  I'm hoping that will mean he will give me a favourable psych report. I think I can be referred by him too.

So time to try again! Maybe I'll dress up like Tin Tin again to try and win him over - he loves Tin Tin lol.

Yeah. You have to go to your family GP and get a referral so you could send it to a gender psychiatrist that's when they start chit chatting to you. After few visits, they'll most likely put you on T

SO! I just got back from seeing my pdoc.  He was really great, I was worried he would just relate it to the mood disorder thing, but he took me really seriously.  He said he'd be happy to refer me to an endo too, but he wants me to wait a few more months so I can say I have been stable all year and it is definitely not related to that.  Just so no one questions me.  Which I think is sensible.  And I am a sensible guy...sort of. 

I feel a lot better now that I am definitely moving towards it.

Sorry it didn't work out for you but at least you have a good attitude about it. 

Soon these next few months will be just a distant memory and you'll be on your way

Congratulations on your progress. Even though it's a delay, at least it's something that's going to happen, now. It feels better to be impatient for good things instead of despairing because you think it's never going to happen, that's for sure. I won't get T until July and trust me, I've been meticulously counting the days.

Yeah I was just feeling down in the dumps and desperate.  Now that I know everything I need to know and that my psych doc will take me seriously and knows good people, I feel much better.

And I should probably tell my parents before I start T. I think I need to be preparing myself.