It appears this original post went into 4 questions. We tend to do that drifting in and out of or expantion of subjects here in the forums. All points raised here have been great and of much importance. Before I answer and put my few quarters worth in (most members here will atest that I say more than a few cents worth) I'm giving you a brief statement of who I am and where my view on these issues are derived.
I was born a girl through and through, liking all the frills and romance and beauty and as lady like as they come. Even at a very young age being pretty was important to me. Playing in powder and perfume and make-up was the only interests there were, aside from wanting to be the mommy when we played house.
Life brought me a wonderful partner. So compassionate, so concerned for me and my children, whose father had died. Maybe a bit lacking in the romantic nature but was every thing else my knight in shinning armor was supposed to be according to my imagination. I think the lacking in the romantic department was at an effort to hold me at arms length not letting me in that closed part of the charactor for fear I might find out the TG side and so doing only what was thought to be necessary to keep us alive and interested in our life and committment. My Partner and love of my life is almost 60. I am 53 1/2. We have been married 25 years this past June and I have only known for going on 7 years about the hidden secret of TG...wanting to become the female she must in order to be a complete person.
What about a sex life?,you ask.
Well it is most certainly important from the being healthy physically and mentally and emotionally stand point.
There is the fact that the releaces one gets through the sexual acts brings back into harmony the hormones keeping one more on an even keel. There is the contentment and security one feels in the arms of the partner from being stroked and faundled. Then that connection that comes from experiencing such closeness. The growth of deeper committment that can also be felt through experiencing such intimacy. I can atest to the lack of any or all of the above being a risk and being particially the cause for deep depression I suffered before finding out about the TG issues my beloved Leah faced lone when she would not share and come out of the closet about it.
So YES it is most necessary and more than just expected it is vital to one's healthy life's existance.
The second part of the inital questions in this post was, "Should we not have any at all? You can obviously tell I'm going to say Definately not a good way to handle this part of your health. Don't even think of such a thing.
There are ways to still have the end result that one receives from having sex to the fullest. There are adult toys that can be saught out and used, with full knowledge on both partners and equal participation if both are willing. You know how you may have heard parents that adopt children say we picked you out you were so special. Ones adult toys can be picked out in much the same way, choosing out of preferences and desires, having the exact best size, shapes, tectures and colors. What ever one is into. I will say the romantic side of Leah came out in full colors once I was told of the TG issues and Leah was no longer feeling male roll sex acts were required of her. Our "Friend" has made it much more light hearted and more enjoyable for us both.
In the back of your minds some may be thinking, what lady would share such things? The Lady that shares it with her closest pals. The lady that is willing to learn more of how to best please her lover. This communication things works in many circles. Through it we learn and grow in areas not usually taught in a classroom.
Leah and I have Introductions from just about a year ago here in the forums as well as other topics we put forth in this S.O.'s forum and others. They can help others maybe see how we handled issues and how we moved on to a fuller more enriching marriage and relationship.
I think that is well said Tink, about molding to your partner. That is what making committments to join together in marriage is all about. Marriage meaning the union of two individuals whether it be in open law comforming cerimonies or souly sworn in private. Becoming one, in tune with each others needs and desires on all levels and insight to adjust were the other can't physically or mentall or emotionally, learning to know each others comfort zones boundaries and knowing when not to ask the other not to stetch any further. Becoming so close that you know what the other is doing and thinking and wanting to say. There has been times I have been thinking something and Leah has answered before I got to ask the question or express my thoughts and vice versa.
Because this is getting so long, I'll address some of the other issues raised in seperate replies.
Smiles all,
Peggiann
