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[Many apologies, long post] Are they really refusing to take me seriously?

Started by madisonp, June 13, 2010, 11:38:15 PM

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madisonp

Well, since the last time I've made a new thread things have become quite normal again...
So, I've come out to my parents. Yes, we all know that by now Madison.
After I told my father he just kept telling me that: Well, you're a teenager and you're going to be questioning yourself a lot. (Puh-lease, I'm not questioning my gender at all, I AM A FEMALE)
And now my mother (whom I won't complain about because she is the most supportive and kind woman in the world)
The night I told my parents I was trans my mom seemed to be the only one who acknowledeg the fact. She reminded me that it was a massive transition and it was certainly a "tough one" to deal with.
But as the weeks went on it feel like they've almost forgotten about it. They both remind me every day that, yes I was born a boy. Whoopdy frigg'n doo. "Don't you want to grow up to be strong and handsome?"
"Why don't you wear something a little bit less unisex for the party"
I'm not asking them to perform SRS on me on our kitchen table, I'm not even asking them to have to see me in feminine clothing, I just want them to accept it and take me to see a professional.
My mother keeps telling me that she'll take me to a psychologist after exams are over, but I don't really feel like she's taking me too seriously when I ask her.

Is this all happening because of something I'm doing wrong? They had to come to me and ask what was wrong before I could even tell them, and before I did I lead them around all sorts of different possibilities of what could be causing my depression. I knew but I didn't really want to full on say it. Then they asked me and I just sort of said, yes.

Even now, I always tell them I'm not happy with who I am and I "want to be someone different." Am I beating around the bush too much ?

I'm sorry this post is so long, I just have so much on me right now with exams and everything I feel like just living under my bed for the rest of my life.  :(

I just don't want my family to think my gender dysphoria is all teen angst, I'm seriously depressed, (but writing it like that makes me feel like no one will take me seriously.)

Sorry also that I don't comment on other threads as much, but I'm going to start to try and really communicate with everyone here, I feel like I can gain a lot from this place.
Much peace and love :)
Madison

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azSam

It's a process. Because while you desire to transition into the beautiful woman that you are, your family also needs to transition into accepting you as that beautiful woman. This can take time.

Persevere. Keep your head up and stay strong. Eventually, Your family will either come around or not.

It might not hurt to see a counselor at your school, it's always very nice just to talk to someone face to face about your feelings.

I hope things start looking up for you soon. *Hugs*
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LordKAT

Quote
Even now, I always tell them I'm not happy with who I am and I "want to be someone different." Am I beating around the bush too much ?

As A parent, and being me,this part stuck out at me. I don't want to be somebody different, I want to be  me. I want what is wrong to be corrected. Most kids/teens want to be something they are not at some point. I guess trying to understand that someone is happy with who they are but not what they are is picking straws for some people but for me it matters.
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justmeinoz

I totally agree with Kat , I want to be me is the real deal. It's, I am in pain and I want you to help me make it go away.

Parents invest their lives in their children and the thought that you could lose them, in any way at all is the worst thing imaginable.
Sometimes we are just hard to get through to because we want to protect our babies from the world. Even if we are being really dumb.

"Don't ask me, it was on fire when I lay down on it"
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spacial

kat and oz make good points.

But your parents seem to be hoping that, by ignoring this, it will go away. Perhaps they think it's a phase and in a few weeks you'll forget about it.

Your parents, thankfully, are not the negative type. They don't seem to have issued you with any ultimatums.

If I may, I suggest you stick to your guns but pull back on the reminders.

Develop yourself, your appearance and personality. Bring them round, showing them that you can be a responsible adult as yourself.

It isn't the quick way I imagine you hoped for. But this process is a long drawn out one in any case.

Getting your parents on your side is by a long way, the most important step.
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Little Darkling

Madison, I'm really sorry to hear that things are so frustrating and slow at present, and I'm not really sure what to say as per advice on how to convince your parents that you don't just want but -need- this change to happen and be acknowledged.

Have you ever sat down and just directly told them, that it's not a phase? Because I'm not entirely certain if you've taken the direct approach to them [aside from when you told them all about it], and that might be what they need right now. If you're just being passive, they might be more inclined to believe this isn't what you really want.
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Arch

You might want to read this recent thread: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,78631.0.html. Espenoah seems to be having similar difficulties with his parents.
"The hammer is my penis." --Captain Hammer

"When all you have is a hammer . . ." --Anonymous carpenter
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lilacwoman

exams means you are mid teens?  so midteens years ago the midwife helped you into th eworld and told your parnets you were a boy...your statement has midteen years of familiarisation to blast its way through.
Ask Mom to take you shopping for some pretty girlie clothes might help get the message through and her natural maternal helpfulness will come to the fore.
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madisonp

Thanks for the support from everyone.
This is actually helping me out a lot.
Actually, I want to sort of add on to the whole: I want to be someone else, thing.
When I say that, I mean it in a way that, if I were to be someone who was born female I wouldn't have to be going through the depression I am experiencing. I still however like being who I am :P
But by telling my mother  I wanted to be someone else, I guess I hoped it would sort of remind her of how upset I was about where I was in life.
Anyways, thanks again everyone
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