I had a few weeks where I felt really good about finally accepting myself, and coming out to my Mom. But the feeling of being 2nd rate never seems to go away. No matter how much I tell myself that I've always mentally been a girl, and no matter what I have done surgically, I'll always have a guy's body. The hands, feet, shoulders and rib cage are constant reminders to me about who I've always been physically, and I'd give anything at all just to be able to hit the reset button on all of this.

How do you girls deal with thoughts like this? I'm sure we've all gone/are going through it. I know life is never fair but of all things what the hell did I do to deserve this? 

You have to think about it in a different way. You're not a second rate version of a cisgirl, but a first rate version of YOU. Easier said than done and all that, I know. But I think of a lot of our insecurities stem from comparing ourselves with cispeers and it's just not a fair comparison. They got the head start on the body and the life as themselves that we didn't. When we compare ourselves to them, of course we're going to see that we don't quite measure up to the perfect male or female specimen. But we don't have to. For whatever reason, we weren't meant to either.

Life isn't about your physical attributes - it is about how you live your life and how you treat others. A stone has physical attributes but it is just a stone.

try telling that to the person in the mirror. 

Sorry to horn in on an MTF forum...but...

QuoteI'd give anything at all just to be able to hit the reset button on all of this.

I'm still in this place, and I don't like it. I just want to move on, but I haven't figured out how to do that yet.

Quotewhat the hell did I do to deserve this?

Unless you truly subscribe to the notion that past lives dictate current conditions, believe me, IT'S NOTHING YOU DID. IT JUST HAPPENED.

I keep telling myself this. Someday I'll believe it. Someday, maybe I'll even believe that I'm special in a good way. Unusual. Even unique. All that crap they tell you in third grade.

Do you actually remember third grade?

choice of clothing and shoes can go an awful long way towards disguising the maleness.

Quote from: LordKAT on June 17, 2010, 01:19:41 AMDo you actually remember third grade?

Quite a bit, actually. I sometimes used to wonder if my fairly detailed memories of childhood indicated that I wasn't really male. But, you know, some guys do remember. Like elephants. Or is it dromedaries?

An unfortunate part of the human condition is judging ourselves too harshly

It doesn't help that much of society is insecure and suffers from a judge mental disorder that compels them to judge everyone and everything

The most common tactic used by the judge mental conditioned public is "put down humor" that is designed to make you feel "less than" in some way

Once you've been "put down", the judge mental conditioned mind feels lifted up

After all, someone put them down in some way and they need to get a lift out of putting someone else down to make themselves feel better

Thus the social judge mental condition becomes viral until all of society is infected and no one is safe from the judgement of others

Hi,
   One of the most important details, /  things that we as people need to remember is we are who we are ,
  You may be able to change how you think about things , you may have surgery , take some meds,

  Your brain is set  unless the meds change your inner core to the point of no return even ,  no matter what you are   you are still you.
We are not second rate nore will be we are differnt , yes,

& you may hate your body , i dont need to say any more about that you know .

   This,  is not so easy for many ,
we need,/ must, have to,  Accept this is who we are . warts & all.
  okay for some . bloody hard ,  if not the hardest thing to do,

  im 62 & 50 years ago i accepted who i was / am & with those extra bits .
That did not stop me from accepting my self ,
My greatest thing i had going for my self was knowing i was different & later .

i saw things going on that would not have happened if i had been born a male or female. you see i was wired both male & female  so this made it much easyer  in how i accepted my self.
as i said ,when ,  we accept our selfs   first & formost & then go on & later have surgery meds & what ever to be who we really are in side then we should not have those problems that so many do.

Hey im not saying its easy  far from it .

I know of others who have had all the ops & they look just so great & lovely looking , yet they are far from being happy . why because they have not accepted who they are,

im 62 as you know & my looks are far from being a ((  sexy )) looking female / woman far from it  ,
  Yet i have other attributes that carry me through,

((  Heres a point some of my women friends would make good rugby players & built like them yet they are women  , we do come in all shapes & sizes , ))

  & this is what we need to look at. we may not have those looks, so look deeper in side & yes youll find what you need to carry you through.
& do give your self time to do that.

...noeleena...

Yeah, pretty frequently but I try not to let it get me down. I will always be different and there are things I really wish I could change. But there's no going back and what's currently available is good. Especially compared to just "living with it."

You know its taken me half a century to accept myself and in accepting myself I have become more confident, have more self esteem and have had a greater appreciation of the work I do from my employers than I ever had before.

Transition and accepting who I am was a path to wholeness.

(PS, I used to hate myself)


Stardust

If you feel bad about the size of your feet, look at the more recent Barbie dolls. Their feet are at least size 13 (US women).