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explaining to normals that your "feminine" interests do not make you female

Started by elvistears, June 12, 2010, 07:58:09 PM

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Crow

Quote from: kyril on June 15, 2010, 02:52:52 PM
Farm Boy - I had the same problem with my parents (with both Luke in Star Wars and Wes Crusher on Star Trek). It doesn't help that I sometimes have trouble myself sorting out the guys I want to be from the guys I want to be with.

I had that problem back when I was like 13-- I had the biggest "crush" (at least, that was the best word I could come up with at the time to describe the feeling) on the character Rei, from Beyblade of all things. I was obsessed-- I drew him, I roleplayed him, I wrote about him... but I always paired him with his canon girlfriend from the show (Mao), not with myself. And I always related better to Rei than to his girlfriend. I always knew there was something out of the ordinary about that obsession, but it took almost 5 years after that obsession faded away for me to figure out I had wanted to be Rei instead of be with him. XD

...in retrospect, I'm not sure I wanted to BE a rather one-dimensional character from a stupid anime about shooting enchanted tops at each other. But whatever-- I was an 8th grader.
Top Surgery Fund: $200/7,000
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Alessandro

Quote from: Crow on June 15, 2010, 07:20:00 PM
I had that problem back when I was like 13-- I had the biggest "crush" (at least, that was the best word I could come up with at the time to describe the feeling) on the character Rei, from Beyblade of all things. I was obsessed-- I drew him, I roleplayed him, I wrote about him... but I always paired him with his canon girlfriend from the show (Mao), not with myself. And I always related better to Rei than to his girlfriend. I always knew there was something out of the ordinary about that obsession, but it took almost 5 years after that obsession faded away for me to figure out I had wanted to be Rei instead of be with him. XD

...in retrospect, I'm not sure I wanted to BE a rather one-dimensional character from a stupid anime about shooting enchanted tops at each other. But whatever-- I was an 8th grader.

OMG this is amazing, I used to like Rei too.  But I always paired him with Kai!  I kinda wanted to be him too, I always found that with yaoi though, I didn't just like it I wanted to be one of those guys with one of the other guys.  What a confusing time   *gets headache*
"You can't look where you're going if you don't know where you're going"
-Labyrinth
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elvistears

I used to read a lot of Buffy the Vampire Slayer slash, mostly Angel/Spike and wish I was part of it.  I first discovered it by accident and read this story which blew my represso catholic brain at the time. I'd lie in bed at night and imagine myself as a hot vampire guy being dominated etc etc... oh dear. Yes, teen years were confuzzled.

And lol, beyblades! Awesome.
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kyril

Ah - never really got into anime, it was always flesh-and-blood guys for me. Which made it harder to figure out what the feelings were, since the hormones started firing for both groups.

I decided eventually that if I was intensely obsessed with a precocious nerdy boyish-looking Western European with a savior complex, I probably wanted to be him, and if I was obsessed with a slender dark-haired cynical Eastern European or darker-skinned guy with a biting sense of humour, I probably wanted to be with him. That's a purely empirical division though, based on the fact that relationships with guys from column A are totally weird and awkward and involve an unhealthy amount of imitation and obsession on my part, whereas column B has been stable with lots of chemistry. Certainly nothing I could explain (or even be consciously aware of) as a 13-year-old watching Star Trek with my parents.

I stll haven't figured out where to file my very close friends whom I develop "crushes" on (i.e. think about a lot, want to spend far more time with, have some "falling in love" symptoms minus the sex/romance angle) as the friendship develops. I think that might be a third category, but I'm not sure what to call it.


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DamienR

My roommate always makes fun of me because I watch "Say Yes to the Dress". LOL
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Shang

I'm very open about my "feminine" interests.  Hell, I even squeal or get all excited when something happens that I like or I'm going somewhere or I'm having nerd-gasm related to history.  I will act "girly" and I'm not at all ashamed of it. 

So, if someone questions me about being male or what I identify as, I say "I identify as a gay guy stuck in a girl's body" and this--for some reason--seems to satisfy them, but I'll also proceed to explain gender more to them and that, just because someone likes "feminine" things, doesn't mean they're not male.
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Yakshini

I really don't have all that many feminine interests to need to explain. There are a few, of course, and if my masculinity is called into  question because I happen to adore flowers and chocolate, I just say that those things are a personal preference not based on my gender. What really gets me though is when I'm accused of not being "manly" enough because I don't follow male stereotypes. For instance,I had an ex tell me that if I 'wanted to be a man', then I would have to learn to appreciate  farting contests and crap  like that.
Although I do have to attribute my girly giggling and gossip to having my fabulousness showing. :p
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