Well, yesterday was a big day. Went to my first therapy session (posted about that on the therapy board). Found out that I present as somewhat androgynous and that I could probably pass pretty well right now without having started HRT yet. No one had ever told me that before. Then again, most people aren't in the habit of telling men that they would probably look like a girl with the right hair and makeup. I think I have a hormones level issue as I have always had moobs my whole life and my face, as the therapist mentioned, has fairly soft features. I also had a very smooth face as I shaved yesterday (I tend to be lazy there) because it didn't seem right to see a therapist about my inner-girl with a hairy face! 

Anyway, after the session, I caught myself doing a couple of girly hand gestures without really trying. Just sort of slipped out. Things like this make me feel like D is being assimilated by Melody and she is going to be the dominant personality pretty soon. I also went to the men's room in our local golf club to wash my hands during dinner last night. There was an older gentlemen in there washing up and he started asking me questions out of the blue on whether I had ever played this course, had I ever played other courses etc. He seemed a bit more insistent and awkward than I was used to. It felt different to me than the usual conversation. Partly because it happened in a men's room and mostly we guys go in there, do our business and leave with a minimum of talking.

Afterwards, I got an impression that I had just been chatted up. Maybe I am being overly sensitive because of what I am going through, and he was just a lonely old guy, but I am seeing the world through new eyes nowadays.

Hi Melody

perhaps your feminine intuition did catch onto him 'chatting you up'. But whether he was seeing you as a woman or as a feimine gay guy? who knows? Depends upon just how androginous you were. Either way it could be an enjoyable time. 

Jenni

just let the girl out and she'll lead you in the right direction - but it's a road she hasn't trod before so she may hit a few potholes.

I didn't think I was that androgynous, but it seems like the outside world views me differently than I thought. Certainly, I have never confused myself with a butch-dude, that's for sure.

The girl was out much further yesterday than before, so she was doing the leading for a bit. Regardless, I'm not attracted to guys and he was a bit too old. The caveat here is that I haven't started HRT yet, so who knows where things will go. So many stories of other ladies swinging from one end of the dial to the other, but I don't think that will happen to me. However, coming out as TS has shaken my entire view of myself. I don't know if I can trust me anymore and past preferences. They seem to change by the minute.

I don't think that will happen to me

Which, of course, is what everyone says right before it happens to them.

Quote from: tekla on August 05, 2010, 12:46:05 PM
I don't think that will happen to me

Which, of course, is what everyone says right before it happens to them.

Right. That scares me a bit, I won't lie. Such a fundamental change to how I see myself and the world. But at this point, all that is in flux.

The guy in the golf club - where you going as Melody or as D? I assume D, since you went to the men's room. Maybe he is just the kinda guy that likes to talk while peeing. I hear they are rare *lol*

Melody.

In my experience, older men are generally much more gentle, considerate and want company as much as physical relationships.

If you think you have a chance, then try it out.

Quote from: Kev on August 05, 2010, 01:30:23 PM
The guy in the golf club - where you going as Melody or as D? I assume D, since you went to the men's room. Maybe he is just the kinda guy that likes to talk while peeing. I hear they are rare *lol*

I was D, but I think I was putting more girl out there than usual. Yeah, he might have been just friendly (we were actually by the sink), but it just felt different. He was asking me several questions, and they were about me, seemed more like "hi, I would like to get to know you better," rather than "know any good golf courses."

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Post Merge: August 05, 2010, 03:25:10 PM

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Quote from: spacial on August 05, 2010, 01:49:12 PM
Melody.

In my experience, older men are generally much more gentle, considerate and want company as much as physical relationships.

If you think you have a chance, then try it out.

I am not attracted to men, and I am to committed to my marriage as I start my transition. Doing anything like that, with a man or woman, would sink our relationship before we had a chance to work through things.