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Bipolar and T

Started by alex408, August 06, 2010, 01:33:03 AM

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alex408

A lot of guys mention that their moods stabilize upon starting T.  I curious to hear about those who have been diagnosed with Bipolar. Despite being on hormones for 13 months, I really haven't noticed much of a difference.  I still randomly cycle as frequently as I did pre-t.  The only change that I've noticed is that I've experienced less frantic suicidal cycles (I've maybe had 3 or 4 since starting T).  How has it effected you?
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Tay

I was diagnosed as bipolar before I came out as trans. The medication never helped me that much and I had plenty of counselling and also behavioural therapy which did help a bit to learn to plot my moods and see the bad (and high) times before they hit full force.
After I came out and started transitioning, my gender therapist speculated that it might be a misdiagnosis and in fact the mood instability might be a part of my gender dysphoria. I came off the meds in preparation for starting T because I didn't want to give my body too much to handle. I had 9 months of stable mood before I started T and have felt even better since starting. My therapist now thinks I never had bipolar in the first place. What I do know is that T is a very good anti-depressant for me.
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confused

i have been diagnosed with BPD but not the severely form though , cyclothymia , but since my body produces T it's the relative lack of it that made things more ...,what can i say,.. stable. it didn't totally go away though, but it did make the hypo. epesodes a lot less often dunno why
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gilligan

I've also been curious about the same thing. I was diagnosed as bipolar when I was eight years old. I'm pretty sure it wasn't a misdiagnosis, mainly because my mom and one of my two sisters also have bipolar. I'm not on T, but have been really worried that when I start T, it may throw my moods way off.
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~Dr. Seuss
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Cowboi

#4
I've brought this topic up before with little response so I'm happy to see it again. I am bipolar and have been on meds for several years, I've been on T for about 3 years now. I also happen to be rapid cycling bipolar, sometimes even going from one end of the emotional spectrum to the opposite end in a single day.

I've had varying degrees of difficulty with being both bipolar and on T. For the first few months everything was fine, I began in September and I developed very quickly. Even my endo was surprised when within two months I was no longer menstruating, my build and weight had completely changed (due to fat redistributing) and I had started growing facial hair. I was up to date on my blood tests, had not been taking larger doses or extra ones and everything was in normal order. My endo was amazed at how well my body took to T and said over and over again that she had never had results like mine so quickly. So that whole part was going beautifully. THEN around January I began having severe panic attacks and suffering extreme periods of depression. By the end of February I was pretty much a shut in and could not leave my home without having anxiety attacks. The attacks were bad enough and frequent enough that I ended up in the ER several times just over the thought of having to leave my home for something like work or an appointment. Before March came around I was on medical leave from work.

This lasted all through the summer and only got worse. At one point I began self harming which had never been an issue for me in the past. I also was never someone who contemplated suicide but it began feeling like an option. I sat at home by myself and just basically went insane. Had anyone been completely aware of what I was like when no one else was around I probably would have ended up in a hospital. I burned myself with cigarettes all over my arms and shoulders, I eventually even got dropped by my therapist due to an inability to attend sessions (apparently crippling anxiety that keeps you home bound is not a good enough reason to miss therapy with her).

My doctors tried several things over this time period, different anxiety meds, attempts at different kinds of therapy, etc. Somehow no one realized that the two things (T and bipolar) were linked and creating the problem. I ended up loosing my job because I couldn't return to work once I ran out of leave time. Altogether I was on medical leave for over half a year and then didn't return to working until just the beginning of this year (originally my medical leave began in 2008 so it took 2 years before I could work again).

Around September I had the realization on my own that these problems began around the same time I was put on my regular dose of T, which of course was higher than the injections I had been getting up until that point. I was taking  biweekly through injection. I called the pharmacist on site with my endo and discussed the theory with her. She agreed that it could be the key to my problem and had me switch to weekly shots of Xmg at a time. Since then it has pretty much been smooth sailing. For whatever reason my bipolar disorder was basically increased and speed up (as far as cycling goes) by the rise and fall of the hormones in my body.

Recently I was going through a lot of hard financial times and actually wasn't able to afford my T. I spent about two months taking lower doses than prescribed and going longer time periods between shots so I'd at least be able to go back on it regularly without having to start from scratch basically. I've now been back on my regular doses for about a month or a month and a half. Once again I'm having problems with my bipolar disorder getting worse and a moderate amount of anxiety. At this point my doctors have decided to change the medication I am on for my bipolar disorder. I'm supposed to see a new psychiatrist about it in the next month hopefully, depending on the date my insurance kicks in and how long I have to wait for an appointment with the specialist I've chosen.

SO... in my experience the two things combined have been hell. If it wasn't for the fact that I'm much happier with my body and physical appearance I would honestly just stop and live pre-T forever. At this point though I doubt I could ever go back the way my body was without T and still manage to be happy that way, so this is just how it is. Hopefully I can manage to find a new medicine that works for my bipolar disorder because at this point the doctors are thinking I may have become resistant to my current med Lamicital (I can never spell it properly). And hopefully the process of finding that medicine won't <not allowed> me up too much. I'm actually really worried about that, I finally got settled into a new job that I love and have began making friends there (as well as making GOOD money). I guess no matter what happens I'm just going to have to push through. Plus I made sure to sign up for short term leave insurance and things like that this time so if it doesn't go well I have something to fall back on without concern of loosing my job or my entire income.
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LordKAT

Bummer experience Cowboi. Mine was quite opposite to yours. Before T I spent almost 1.5 years  with never leaving my house. After T I was able to lower my bipolar meds and still be functional and will never stop T just because of the lower highs and higher lows that I get now. I also had results from T in a short time although on a lower dose than you.
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jmaxley

I am really hoping that going on T will help ease the anxiety, depression, and mood swings that I have.  My previous therapist wondered for a bit if I might be bipolar because of the mood swings but I don't have the mania that she says is part of it.  My mood swings typically go from depressed to very depressed to suicidally depressed and back.

I've been diagnosed with BPD also, but I really think that's a misdiagnosis.  I had been diagnosed with this by the NP that prescribes my antidepressant but my last therapist used that diagnosis of BPD to say that I was just doing this gender thing for attention, that it was just the attention-seeking aspect of BPD.  Even though I've gotten a new therapist, I'm still really mad about that.
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Cowboi

Well it isn't as common but there are types of bipolar that don't include mania. I've yet to meet anyone with that issue myself (and I know A LOT of bipolar people) but I know it is possible. I always forget the differences between the types of bipolar, and now there are so many types that it's confusing anyhow since some seem to be so similar.

I also get hypomania as opposed to just your typical mania. When I'm up there I'm WAY up there lol.

Post Merge: August 07, 2010, 12:02:04 PM

I forgot to mention too, makes sure that your meds actually work for both extremes. Mine didn't really control my mania, it just prevented my severe downs. My doctor ended up having a talk with me about changing my meds a couple of months before they stopped working. Having the states of mania so frequently or for longer periods of time really takes a toll on your body physically. Since it tends to make you eat less and sleep less eventually you are running your body without fuel. I know that my endo had told me that taking T can lower your immune system (don't know if this is true for everyone or just certain individuals) if that is true and you are experiencing a lot of mania and fatiguing your body you will become more likely to get ill.
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elvistears

Hypomania is actually the less intense version of mania.  I'm bipolar II so I get bad depressive lows, with bouts of hypomania that make me run around talking a million miles a minute to everyone I know.  However it hasn't gotten to the true manic stage and I haven't been psychotic, just delusional.  I have a friend who's bp1 and the ups are much higher.

I have noticed that since beginning transition, although I'm not on T yet, I feel much more stable and have only had one really bad mood swing. I've heard of guys finding their symptoms lessen on T and I hope that happens for me.  I've been taking meds for about a year now and I can't believe how stable I am compared to how I used to be.
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Cowboi

You are exactly right, it is the more mild form of mania. I get all confused with it because there is so freaking much.

After living for so many years with hypomania being my daily state taking meds made me feel boring. My fiancee is also bipolar, we have a lot of discussions about how boring it is to be sane lol.

I've never been psychotic or delusional. When I do get manic I have more of the racing thoughts and trouble concentrating, this happens pretty rarely but has been worse lately. My meds kind of put me at this spot where I was experiencing hypomania on a daily basis but never getting depressed, maybe once a month I'd go through your more typical mania. I guess because I was in a state of hypomania and slept so much and ate so little that it concerned my doctor. When I went all manic for a day or two I wouldn't sleep or eat at all.

From the other posts it seems like T tends to help with the depression more than anything. Gives me something new to discuss with my doctors. Maybe the meds weren't preventing my depression all on their own, maybe it actually lessened with the T over time. Or maybe I just won't ever know until they get me on a medicine that works right lol.
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elvistears

Woah two bipolar types together? That's impressive! Although I tried having a boring partner and it was, well, boring.  What meds are you on, if you don't mind me asking cowboi?  It might be a matter of finding something that works well with your T.  I take lithium for the hypomania/depression and prozac for the depression and the combo works really well for me.  I also have seroquel for when I'm completely losing the plot - or when I think I'm about to lose the plot.  However when my friend tried lithium she bloated up crazily and gained heaps of weight, which sucked.  Body/brain chemistry is so fascinating, especially with bipolar people.  Everyone seems to need a completely different cocktail of meds and I don't really know what adding T into the equation does.

I credit lithium for stablising me enough to start transitioning without worrying about being "crazy" and credit just being a guy as a major cure for most of my depression.  So I think they've worked together great!
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Cowboi

I currently take Lamictal. I've been on several other meds in the past, none of which worked for me. I took Seroquel but it knocks me out completely. They even put me on the lowest dose and had me cut the pill in half, without fail I am asleep within 15 minutes, when I first started taking it I kept falling asleep during tasks lol. They put me on Effexor and the Effexor XR (or whatever the hell they are
called) neither one worked for me.

I even had one doctor who put me on an antidepressant just to prove I would go into a manic state, obviously I no longer see this doctor. After being awake for 4 days, not eating and freaking out then to have her just tell me she was testing to see if I was bipolar for real.... needless to say it did NOT go over well with me when I found out it was an experiment.

Bianca is on Lithium but it has not changed her body weight at all, she in fact is a little too thin and always has been. I was gaining weight from taking T and lifting weights the first few months I was on it, I went from 115lb to 160lb, then they put me on Lamictal and I lost all of the weight I'd gained and now I barely eat. In fact over the last two weeks as it seems to be working less and less I eat SOOO much more it's kind of funny.

Bianca tends to be more on the depressed spectrum with short lived moments of mania, maybe over the course of two days every couple of months. When we are both manic at the same time it's actually a lot of fun. When we first began dating and she wasn't medicated and I was though her depression got really old really ->-bleeped-<-ing fast. Thank God she started taking meds or we never would have managed to stay together.

It's all kind of creepy actually, we understand each other way to well. With both of us being bipolar and both of us being trans it's kind of strange how much we each make sense to the other one.

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elvistears

My friend had the same issue with seroquel, it turned her into a zombie.  She was amazed I could take it during the day and still function, in a docile sorta way.
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