Just wondering what's the everyday living as a female feels like?

I'm in the early phase of women coming to accept me as one, and at this stage it's a little odd at times.

Women around here (dunno about elsewhere) have these little ways to show that acceptance. And I haven't been conditioned to pick up on these little gestures, resulting in a few awkward moments.

A gal at the office this week gave me this little pink rubber band looking thing shaped like a seal. I think she called it a snap bracelet.

When my reaction made it absurdly obvious that I didn't get what was happening, she spelled out that it was a "you're a girl" gift. The look on her face left me with the impression that she was genuinely disappointed.

Aside from specific things like that, I've noticed that most of the guys don't talk to me any more, and the ones that do seem to behave in a more courteous & friendly manner toward me. (A fellow stood up from a table the other evening to greet me as I prepared to leave, which I don't recall happening pre-transition.)

And the women I know who are willing to have anything to do with me have changed their disposition entirely. It's hard to pinpoint in detail, but they seem to have become significantly more comfortable around me. Before, they were more guarded.

I can't say I've noticed differences in people holding doors for me, because people will do that here regardless of gender. People take pride in holding doors for others here, and will do so as a whole group passes them into a restaurant.

The biggest difference, of course, is that I no longer present myself as somebody walking around with a big secret, which drove people nuts. No matter what I did, people could tell that something didn't add up. And now I think people find me more agreeable as a person, because my presentation is more genuine.

People have less serious tones and faces around you. At least, that's what I notice in retrospect as male. But that also means people smile more at you. Of course, I'm just talking about everyday strangers here.

I do not pass quite yet but I have noticed some serious changes in my treatment socialy.
Women actually have conversations with me and engage me socialy, instead of ignoring me, and men seem to be very uncomfortable around me instead of trying to include me in the group. Transphobia basicaly. I can see it in their faces.
Not to say all women are nice and all men are ass's. Just a trend. I have had a woman come to a dead stop and stare at me in shock in the market parking lot one day and I have had men who are friends switch from shaking my hand in greeting and parting too hugz and verbaly expressed affection durring such moments.

To answer your question instead of meandering all around:
  It feels normal. Or normalizing at any rate. I have some time to go before I have completely transitioned and actually pass. So ask this question again in a year or 2. LOL

Fantastic

FTM in transition here, have been passing as a guy 100% for 2 years now, here my life-long observations of what is different when you are treated as female:

It is more difficult or easier to convince people that you know what you're talking about depending on the topic. (E. g. guys = no idea of fashion, girls = no idea of technical stuff, that's how people think).

You are treated more carefully and like if you were frail or something. People assume you cannot lift heavy weights, not even 20 pounds. People smile more at you. People take you less seriously in general. In conversations with several people, they will listen less to what you say. You awake more protective instincts in other people and sometimes are treated almost like an elder kid. (But I always looked like a woman-child and younger than I was; I was (and am) petite, had a childish face with big eyes etc. so this might not be the case for every woman. I still awake protective instincts now, by the way, but less though I look younger.)

Guys will tell you less personal things than before, girls more.

When body contact happens, you will be touched as if you could break easily apart, so more carefully and less "tough" than a guy would be touched. (Always made me feel like I was some Humpty Dumpty creature.)

A few of these differences are due to society, a few are due to ingrained biological response to cuteness (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuteness) as females look somewhat more child-like than males, and a few are both effects working together.

Try to figure out for yourself if these changes are acceptable for you. For me, being treated as a female was awful, but I don't think you wanted our biased FTM opinions on this subject. 

Absolutely wonderful! I wake up happy every day as I am living and passing as a woman. I was never happy as a man as I was a small feminine male and was scorned, picked on and called a girl. How right they were! I no longer have to hide my female side and I enjoy every day. Next years SRS will complete the process.

Pam

for me...often lining up for more than 15 minutes in a busy mall holding your bladder!

Quote from: milktea on August 07, 2010, 01:01:42 PM
for me...often lining up for more than 15 minutes in a busy mall holding your bladder!

Before transition (and passing), then I just went into the men's restroom saying: "Sorry guys, I have a cystitis and don't have the time to wait in front of the ladies' restroom." And looked demonstratively away from their dicks. No problem ever.

I am so jealous of you people that are small and feminine even as guys. I'm not and I hate it.

Men smile at you. Some stare at you. Most drop their eyes to check out your cleavage if you're sporting it.

You aren't expected to do everything for yourself.  Men will lift heavy things for you.  Some will do things for you they won't do for a man (like delivering a car battery to your home when yours dies - happened yesterday.)

I've had a lot of instances where men have said, "I am not supposed to do this..." or "I don't normally do this..." and I know it's because they are dealing with a woman.  I NEVER heard that before.

And I will admit, I am taking advantage of this new-found benefit.  HRT is still whittling away my strength and I can't do a lot of what I used to do so I have no problem accepting help from the stronger sex. 

It is angering and demeaning to know that you are seen as lesser and worthless. You can't do anything and if you have an opinion, shut up no one wants to hear it. You have no right to live is the way your treated and only worth what a guy can get from you before they throw you away.


I have issues.

I am not quite sure whether this is related with passability or looking like a wome, but there have been some significant changes.

Some examples. Men, especially ugly 50s, always stare at me whereas a few young men smile at me. Women, especially aged ones, study me. Men make light of me, especially when I am driving. Young women can bravely scold me for my minor mistakes. A positive aspect is that some men offer help to me, especially when I try to park my car in narrow space. I have a lot of female friends who like to chat with me regarding beauty, fashion and kids.

And, finally, both men and women ask me for direction too easily and too often, and I am tired of it.

Barbie~~

If you're heavy or middle-aged, men tend to ignore you. If you have cleavage and are reasonably young/attractive, men can have whole conversations with your chest and never look you in the eye, and (insult to injury), they'll compliment your beautiful eyes (!?) or your great posture.

If you have sex with more than one guy, you're a slut. If you don't want kids, people want to know why, and they often assume that your significant other is the problem.

If you're in the auto parts store looking for motor oil and know where to find it, a clerk often asks you how he can help you, or he rushes over to point out how to find the thirty-weight that you already have in your hands. If you take your car in for repairs, they might try to tell you that your catalytic converter needs replacing when you don't even have one.

If your car stalls out on the freeway, the CHP officer might sit there and wait with you while the tow truck comes. If you're fairly young and act clueless, you can get out of a ticket if the officer is a straight male.

If you get into a relationship with a jack-of-all-trades, you're in danger of never learning how to fix things on your own--but I think that's more of a problem for trans men and cis girls than trans women.

Some people are more tolerant when you make a mistake. Some are less so. Some don't take your ideas seriously until a guy proposes it. Professors might assume that you're into feminist scholarship (I was into masculinity and gay studies, myself). Some men, when meeting you and ascertaining that you actually have a brain in your head, will be intimidated. But men don't pull that "who has the stronger handshake" crap and try to squeeze all the life out of you.

Other women will talk to you openly about all the lovely details of their periods, pregnancies, abortions, and female trouble, not to mention the size and shape of their husband's apparatus.

You're not considered weird if you like makeup, clothes, hairstyles, and shopping. If you don't like these things, you're something of an oddball. If you're into sports, people often assume that you're really not all that athletic or competitive, especially if you're on a cheer squad that busts its butt and performs all sorts of difficult acrobatic maneuvers and only gets one month off a year, when other sports teams get months and months off.

You do get greater leeway with clothing and hair and gender expression. Otherwise, I would have had to transition much earlier...hmm, I guess there's a downside.

Sometimes your chest is an unbearable nuisance. I couldn't run properly, walk unencumbered, or (when I started getting really big) sleep comfortably on my stomach. On the other hand, my chest ensured lots of positive male reactions when I was younger. And since I have always been in straight relationships and have gotten sexual satisfaction out of my chest, I have to admit that I lost something when I had top surgery. But I don't regret that loss.

P.S. Of course, not all of these have to do with other people's treatment of you. I got carried away.

I feel good, and natural and womanly lol.

Dunno, what else can I say. The absence of dysphoria is magic. To be seen by the world as who you are is incredible.

Quote from: LordKAT on August 07, 2010, 02:11:24 PM
It is angering and demeaning to know that you are seen as lesser and worthless. You can't do anything and if you have an opinion, shut up no one wants to hear it. You have no right to live is the way your treated and only worth what a guy can get from you before they throw you away.


I have issues.

This was the most shocking discovery during my transition. I mean, I kind of knew that women are not treated as equals before. But it was horrible to find out how extreme the differences are. It makes me sad that some feminists shun FTMs and MTFs away as many of us can provide them with valuable first-hand experiences proving their observations are right. I mean, who else can tell the differences from their own experience, from both sides?

Another horrible finding was - well I was mistaken for a 14- or 15-year old teenage boy for a while (and was 32 at that time). It was incredible how respectless teenage boys are sometimes treated. I mean, sure, they are not adults, but it was not just being treated as a non-adult, it was almost like being treated as a subhuman at times. No wonder many of them become insecure and/or aggressive. However, among the adults, elder females and males (50 years or more) treated me relatively respectfully at that time, while being very protective and gramma/uncle-like, and teenage kids treated me as an equal. Younger people of 20-45 often sucked. Thank God this phase only lasted for about one year. Now I am mistaken for 16-25 while being 35.

Being treated as a female has it's ups and downs like anything in life

Guys go out of their way to open doors for you, they volunteer to carry heavy things for you, they stop to help if you have car trouble, they're always checkin' you out and tend to talk to your boobs and think you don't know anything about anything

Women tend to compare boobs and want to chit chat a bit

Having lived almost all my adult life as a female and most of my childhood kind of in between I am tempted to say just Normal and leave it at that.

The trouble is I can't go back to the start and live my life as a male. So I have only limited point of comparison.

All I can say is that I don't really notice anyone treating me in any way which I have problems with...

Ok, Fencesitter, you summed up a lot of what I was going to write. I was super conscious of it in the beginning but not so much anymore. I think much could be said about differences in career and position held too

Quote from: Fencesitter on August 07, 2010, 11:35:17 AM
FTM in transition here, have been passing as a guy 100% for 2 years now, here my life-long observations of what is different when you are treated as female:

It is more difficult or easier to convince people that you know what you're talking about depending on the topic. (E. g. guys = no idea of fashion, girls = no idea of technical stuff, that's how people think).

You are treated more carefully and like if you were frail or something. People assume you cannot lift heavy weights, not even 20 pounds. People smile more at you. People take you less seriously in general. In conversations with several people, they will listen less to what you say. You awake more protective instincts in other people and sometimes are treated almost like an elder kid. (But I always looked like a woman-child and younger than I was; I was (and am) petite, had a childish face with big eyes etc. so this might not be the case for every woman. I still awake protective instincts now, by the way, but less though I look younger.)

Guys will tell you less personal things than before, girls more.

When body contact happens, you will be touched as if you could break easily apart, so more carefully and less "tough" than a guy would be touched. (Always made me feel like I was some Humpty Dumpty creature.)

One thing I think I'll miss is how women react to me. Example, one time I was acting silly and slid across a floor a girl was mopping up, leaving behind dirt. I offered to clean it up, she just looked at me and smiled and said "Don't worry about it!" I insisted, and she again refused sweetly. Also, as somebody suggested, people say "I'm not suppose to do this but.." has happened to me with women quite a bit. For example, I never would've gotten my DL on the day that I did, if I didn't hear that line, lol.

However, that will probably just be reversed and men will be that way with me. Men already help me carry stuff, I am quite small in frame. To see somebody that is 5'5" 130 lbs trying to load a treadmill into the back of a car kinda screams "HELP ME PLEASE!!!".