Quote from: Alexmakenoise on August 06, 2010, 03:29:36 PMI'm just not comfortable discussing anything about my genitals with members of my immediate family.  That's not odd, right?

I would say not.  I know I wouldn't be.  I'm only out to my mom and she's not asked me anything.  Probably because there are 4 other people in the house I'm not out to.  But if anyone in my immediate family started asking me those kind of questions you can bet I'd be much too uncomfortable to talk about it.  I'd tell them as much, and that it was none of their business if they kept pestering me.

My friend that I'm out to has asked a few questions, but they were general ones and she knows better than to try to pry such personal info out of me.

A couple of times, but only after I was scheduled for bottom surgery.

Mom wanted to know but didn't really want to know, so she didn't get much info.  My dad for some reason thought I was getting a penis transplant (LOL!) and I had to tell him, no, I was getting my own equipment reconfigured, it was all me.

Oh, yeah, my mother did wonder how it was possible for me (pre lower surgery) to use a urinal.  But then she really didn't want to hear the answer.


Jay

Sheesh. People need to be reminded that it's rude to ask so bluntly about other people's genitals. Would you just go up to a guy and ask if he was circumsized? Would you outright ask a woman who just had a baby how her labia changed?

That's terrible, Dee_pntx. I'm really sorry you had to go through that.

There is a reason that in family group photos the best thing to say is: Smile, and say "Awkward."

If that's all you're parents ask you about, answer them and be happy.  At least you don't have to listen to all your relatives go on, and on, and on, and on about their latest surgical procedures and diseases you've never heard about over dinner.

You want awkward, I had to tell my sister she was having her first period.

My dad asked me very inappropriate and personal questions. "What if you find a girl who likes you just the way you are(implication, a female) How will you have sex with them? What if they want you to be a girl? Will you let them touch your breasts? etc He said "Im just wondering"
I feel very violated right now.

Would you feel more violated if he told you how to do it right?  Or if he bought you your first one night stand?

Quote from: tekla on August 08, 2010, 11:23:33 PM
Would you feel more violated if he told you how to do it right?  Or if he bought you your first one night stand?

Haha I don't even know....
I don't mind getting questions as long as they aren't what my birth name was or if I'm planning on surgery. My guidance counselor asked me if I was planning to get surgery and she saw that I was getting embarrased and said she didn't mean to make me uncomfortable she was just curious, so I was forgiving. It seems like the people I know for the most part have enough common sense to know asking me how I have sex is not appropriate.

I work on th etheory that everyone will have seen so much sexchange stuff on telly and in magazines as to all be quite familiar with the idea...

Quote from: lilacwoman on August 09, 2010, 05:13:32 AM
I work on th etheory that everyone will have seen so much sexchange stuff on telly and in magazines as to all be quite familiar with the idea...

...whereas I figure people have seen enough of that stuff to have a revolting idea relating in no way whatsoever to my life experience.

This isn't exactly biological family... But, one of my best friends from my old high school, in what I could consider my family of friends, posed an extremely awkward question at the time (especially the way he phrased).  I had just revealed only 15 minutes earlier that I was trans, and he said to me:

"Hmmmm... Well it is not like you want to have a vagina or anything and have sex with men?" He then lets out this awkward laugh, and the tone he said this in implies he would not accept a "Yes" answer.  I was actually so shocked I kind of switched subjects at that point to talk about how long I have been consciously having these feelings (which has been 18 years).  After that, I realized I didn't want to share much more of my feelings at that time.  In reality, of course I want a vagina and to have sex with it, but that is not my sole motivation! Knowing my friend, he would have construed my feelings as being a fetish rather than a genuine feeling of dysphoria.  I think his preconceptions of being transgender were off.  One day, I will explain more to him but for now I realized how he has to come to terms with me.       

Quote from: forallittook on August 09, 2010, 10:53:51 AM"Hmmmm... Well it is not like you want to have a vagina or anything and have sex with men?" He then lets out this awkward laugh, and the tone he said this in implies he would not accept a "Yes" answer.

To that I'd love to respond, "does your sole life ambition involve having sex with a penis?"

Sadly I know some guys would say "yes" and dodge the seriousness of the question. But perhaps by presenting that no-nonsense, "only as little or as much as any other woman" response, we can allow some more understanding to dawn on people.

My family, my friend, and even acquaintances have asked me some of the "personal questions" as to what's going to happen to my chest and crotch area and so on.
The thing is, I don't mind getting those questions, I don't mind telling them.
I don't mind explaining that it's a slow process. That the surgical procedures available only have so much result, that there's a chance I might decide just to forgo the bottom surgery since there's so little that can be done for us boys.
People who take it "lightly", who think this is a frivolous or simple thing, see me twitch and squirm as I tell them about the scary knives and needles. You can see the gears turn and their minds change as the realize how much pain and discomfort I'm choosing to subject myself to by transitioning. It gives them something to use as "comparison" allowing them to better comprehend how much pain and discomfort I'm in to start with in order to choose this "rather" than to continue that.

It gives them perspective.

I know some of the curiosity is morbid, but most of it is innocent. People who are ignorant of this whole thing and choose to ask rather than to choose to stay ignorant are good by me, even if their questions might seem a little to close to home for some of us.

I'm not shy at all about this stuff, I sat and made an STP in my living room in front of a bunch of family members which involved messing around with a big pink dildo If people are asking questions because they are genuinely curious and not trying to be snide then I'll answer anything. I've explained GRS to many family members and friends and most of them will follow up with a question on how I have sex...which I answer in varied levels of detail depending on who's asking.

Quote from: Jeatyn on August 09, 2010, 05:00:28 PM
I'm not shy at all about this stuff, I sat and made an STP in my living room in front of a bunch of family members which involved messing around with a big pink dildo

I laughed out loud at the image of this. Rock on, man.

Quote from: SydneyTinker on August 09, 2010, 07:25:05 AM
...whereas I figure people have seen enough of that stuff to have a revolting idea relating in no way whatsoever to my life experience.

nope, guess not...they probly figure you'd squeal like a pig first time you have sex post-op.

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Post Merge: August 10, 2010, 06:33:21 AM

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Quote from: Dee_pntx on August 09, 2010, 08:24:15 AM
Oh sure, like everyone here (usa) gets 99.9999999% of their education on trans issues via the Jerry Springer show and other such nonsense.

If life in that little town is such a ball I wonder why you just don't up and move - that is The American Way?

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Post Merge: August 10, 2010, 06:37:54 AM

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In last few years the coverage of transsexuals in the UK press has changed for the better and now the articles are generally quite thoughtful and non sensational with the emphasis on just how ordinary the people want to be treated.

There is an occasional nasty article from one or other of the lesbian writers.

Oh god yes, us lesbians are evil, evil I tell you!!   
I've found other lesbians to be nothing but supportive. Homophobia is so last century...

No need to be crude either. Lets keep it clean people.

The only overly personal question I got was rather frank.  It was from my baby brother.  He said, "It doesn't matter to me, but I have to know... have you ever s*cked ****?"

Sorry if that's too graphic.  That was the night I came out to him.  I'd happily answer a thousand questions like that, rather than get the silent treatment that my parents gave me.

Quote from: cher_m on August 10, 2010, 09:06:06 PM
The only overly personal question I got was rather frank.  It was from my baby brother.  He said, "It doesn't matter to me, but I have to know... have you ever s*cked ****?"

Sorry if that's too graphic.  That was the night I came out to him.  I'd happily answer a thousand questions like that, rather than get the silent treatment that my parents gave me.

I wonder why he had to know that? I don't mind answering that as long as they answer the same question first.

Jeez, rude question. You should not feel you have to answer something like that sweety. It is totally inapropriate.

Yeah we really need to question the motives behind some of the questions and can avoid the question by doing so. "what does my gender identity have to do with my sex life or sexual preference?" You've never asked that before until now???". lols