i thought given the situation of a romance affair i can figure out what a guy thinks; girls though are the mystery...somewhere along the line this ability seem to have mysteriously disappeared, and i find myself baffled by some guys. so at which point in time did that happen to you?

...or is it just me?

I never really understood guys...girls, however, were amazed that I could tell what they meant all of the time. Lately though, guys are just becoming more and more confusing.

Quote from: milktea on August 11, 2010, 12:44:56 PM
i thought given the situation of a romance affair i can figure out what a guy thinks; girls though are the mystery...somewhere along the line this ability seem to have mysteriously disappeared, and i find myself baffled by some guys. so at which point in time did that happen to you?

...or is it just me?

Great observation.  Thanks for sharing it.  For me, guys were a mystery my whole life.  What I came to understand of men came through observation.  I always new I wasn't like that.  I wouldn't bring myself to face that I wasn't a guy, because I was actually a "girl" (at least gender-wise), until after I transitioned.  Women, on the other hand made perfect sense, most of the time.  After transition... after srs... that's when I finally began to understand them.  The unique ability of being a "boy in the boy's locker room," so to speak, gave a unique perspective to observe male behavior that few women ever get to see.  At the time, imo guys were all "dicks" when I was male.  After they start opening doors for you, wining and dining you, chatting you up...  you gain a MUCH better understanding of them than what many gg's probably do.  I didn't like men because they only treated me like another male... when my body change, that changed as well... it was like, "now I see why women like them!"  Still, as a woman, be prepared for heartache.  Men can still be less than honorable.

I think we alone are uniquely qualified to have the most comprehensive understanding of both men and women possible.  However we arrive there I suppose is largely irrelevant.  That understanding will be one of your strengths that you will both appreciate and curse at times.  I think it's partly responsible for our ability to cope with GID.

Great post.  Thanks again

Quote from: Samantha_Peterson on August 11, 2010, 12:57:32 PM
I never really understood guys...girls, however, were amazed that I could tell what they meant all of the time. Lately though, guys are just becoming more and more confusing.

Same here!

Quote from: cher_m on August 11, 2010, 01:10:56 PM
For me, guys were a mystery my whole life.  What I came to understand of men came through observation.  I always new I wasn't like that.

I think we alone are uniquely qualified to have the most comprehensive understanding of both men and women possible.  However we arrive there I suppose is largely irrelevant.  That understanding will be one of your strengths that you will both appreciate and curse at times.  I think it's partly responsible for our ability to cope with GID.

For me that first statement is totally true only swap guys for girls.

And I wholeheartedly agree with the second statement as well

I've never fit in with the girls.  I always felt like everyone was playing a game and no one had told me the rules.  Still haven't figured the rules out, heh.  I don't understand why my friends want to chat with me while I'm taking a pee, it's really embarrassing.  I've never been able to get interested in the conversations of the girls around me.  Their conversation usually revolves around their kids or the lives of people they know (who I usually don't know) or some guy they're interested in or female issues with their bodies (which makes me really uncomfortable).  I'm more into politics, computers, science, how to do a tune up on the car, things of a non-personal nature.

Quote from: jmaxley on August 11, 2010, 01:36:29 PM
I've never fit in with the girls.  I always felt like everyone was playing a game and no one had told me the rules.  Still haven't figured the rules out, heh.  I don't understand why my friends want to chat with me while I'm taking a pee, it's really embarrassing.  I've never been able to get interested in the conversations of the girls around me.  Their conversation usually revolves around their kids or the lives of people they know (who I usually don't know) or some guy they're interested in or female issues with their bodies (which makes me really uncomfortable).  I'm more into politics, computers, science, how to do a tune up on the car, things of a non-personal nature.

I just have to say, EXACTLY!! I'm glad I'm not the only one who's thought those exact things.

Quote from: insideontheoutside on August 11, 2010, 01:40:12 PM
I just have to say, EXACTLY!! I'm glad I'm not the only one who's thought those exact things.

Same for me.

Been following this thread and agreeing with several of the points made. Samantha especially and jmaxley saying: I always felt like everyone was playing a game and no one had told me the rules.

For me, I think part of the problem is that for males, other men want you to be part of the peer group, while women, generally they want you to make them feel good about themselves, perhaps make a play to be a partner.

As a female, I didn't mix with men because I wasn't looking and didn't mix with women as I lacked the confidence. (Strangely, another thing that has happened since I've been here, in Susans, I've come to realise just how brief my time as female was. It has always seemed like another life. Now I'm coming to realise it was a brief period of happiness. Still not sure how I feel about this. But I digress and apologise).

Since I can't do either, I'm basically stuck where Samantha and jmaxley are.

Thought i understood men, living as one for so long, found out i really didnt know much, but i did get a better understanding of them, so wasnt a total loss, so i guess i couldnt understand men from the beginning, but i thought i did, wasnt until i did this that i found out i really didnt know as much as I thought i did. 

You're implying I ever understood girls.

trying to understand girls is like trying to play mau(card game). There are rules, and you're penalized for breaking them, but no one is allowed to tell you the rules as that's breaking a rule
Except the card game is easier. the rules don't change day-to-day

Might be just you. I have never connected with girls or understood them very well.

Boys were always a puzzle to me, right from earliest childhood. I didn't understand why they acted the way they did, did the things they did, and could never follow their "logic".

It has remained so for nearly 60 years.

i thought i understood both and i was pretty confident about that , but it turns out that most of the times i 'misunderstand'

I never really understood boys or men.  I do think the experiences of my life have given me a better understanding of them than if I had been born correctly, having been privy to their ridiculousness at times and all.  I would say I understand them less than ever though, so I think that does fit with what you were saying.

....I spend a lot of time trying to understand both genders....haven't gotten very far yet. both confuse me equally honestly, but then I already know I don't fall in either one really

It is more difficult for me to understand women than men.

But there is one thing I don't understand which both do in their own way: competitive behavior when it's not between two individuals, but in groups. I suppose it's because I am bi, and in my case it makes me feel silly to treat a bunch of people like rivals if they could theoretically be my romantic or sexual partners so picking out one and flirting with them would seem more natural to me. Or just enjoying their presence. But that's just me.

I used to think that having a female body meant I'd understand females better than males but it is not so. As I look back and see my social relations with females, they usually ended up with me being rejected for reasons I could not comprehend or just not getting things. I got on better with guys, still do. So I guess I never had the ability, on the upside, as life progresses (and HRT) I'll probably understand guys better.

I remember when my friends were having relationship troubles and I offered to try to help them because surely, I would understand their nonsense. After hearing the explanations all I had was "Well beats me, that's ridiculous!" which is why they don't ask me for advice anymore lol.

I *never* understood guys.

Just like any other man, I never understood women in the first place.

Men however make perfect sense - even when they're not .