My wife went to visit relatives this weekend. I am not out to them. (Or, wasn't)
  Before she left my wife wanted me to write a letter to give advice to her brother about a problem. He's always asking about a certain thing and it's getting old after 30 years.
  In the midst of my advice I outed myself. Neither my wife nor I thought anything about it since we both have grown comfortable with me being transgender. (Maybe too comfortable)
  To her surprise other relatives dropped in after she gave the letter to her brother. They heard she was there to visit and wanted to "surprise" her. (The surprise was soon on them)
  The problem is that this is down in the Bible belt and one relative is a hardcore preacher. This is also down where good ole boys still have shotguns in rifleracks in their trucks.
  When she called she spoke in very vague terms and said she would call when she started home. She sounded happy but was watching her conversation.
  I'm afraid that I may just get disowned by her whole side of the family. I can just imagine how the phone will go berzerk after she leaves for home. My side already has no use for me so that's no loss.
  I take comfort in her standing by me and being hardheaded enough to tell them what she thinks but I sure hope she doesn't lose her whole family over me. Even though, in times past she has made it clear to them who she stays with if a choice has to come. She's a such a doll. Bless her heart.
  Just what I need with failing health. But; I should have been more careful.
  Wish me luck as soon I may experience another aspect some of you dear sisters and brothers have encountered.
 
  Tiff

Tiff,

I'm sorry for what you are going through.  Since you are the woman-on-the-spot, you know more about how these relations will react better than anyone else.  I know what it is like to be outed when it is not in your control.

On a serious side, are you two safe?  Gunracks in the pickups are to be taken seriously...

Chaunte

Dear Chaunte;
  We'l be fine hon. Just a reference to the lifestyle and mindset. Kind of like my relatives from Kentucky we tease about "where the tree doesn't fork."
  The Bible belt can judge worse than anyone else at times. I hope they're not that way.
  Thank you for the concern. You're such a sweetheart.

  Tiff

Quote from: TiffThe problem is that this is down in the Bible belt and one relative is a hardcore preacher

Given that, I am sure that he will also be familiar with these passages from the Bible and not only with the ones that have become so trite in the last few decades.





1 Samuel 16:7


...I do not judge as man judges. Man looks at the outward appearance, but I look at the heart.



Acts 10:34


Peter began to speak: "I now realize that it is true that God treats everyone on the same basis. Whoever fears him and does what is right is acceptable to him...


Galatians 3:28


...there is neither male nor female, for we are all one in Christ Jesus.


John 3:16


For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosover believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Everything will be okay Tiff, hang in there hon.



tinkerbell

Dear Tinkerbell;

  Thank you so much for the support and scriptures. You're such a sweetheart! But then again; everyone here is so supportive. I just love you all.

  Tiff

These references work in almost any situation:

From Mathew chapter 22

37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
38 This is the first and great commandment.
39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.


Luke 6:37  Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven

Luke 6:41 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but perceivest not the beam that is in thine own eye.   (a mote is a splinter and a beam is a large piece of lumber)

Enjoy life.  Chin up....

Your Druish Princess
Cindi

Dear Cindi;

  Thanks so much! I'l keep those in mind.
  I am truly thankful for each and every one of you.
  May God bless.
 
  Tiff

Oh tiffany
I feel for you that's not good!  Well my situation is the reverse and it's just as ugly and dangerous?  I dunno sometimes i wonder if it would of been better if my family accepted my gender then ousted me out of their lives?  Instead they are in denial and have completely unrealistic expectations of me!
kisses
Ricki

Dear Ricki;

  Thank you so much for your concern as well! You guys are great and a real support!

  I just got word from my wife and it was the strangest thing!
  First; her uncle is a preacher in some church down there that is non-denominational and has a couple of members that are gay. He says they are understanding of alternate lifestyles.
  Second; the rest of the family is so sheltered they don't know what a transgender is. I guess I can't laugh because all these years I never knew and I am one. All I knew is that I was waaaay different. Not knowing what it meant to feel what I do.
  The Lord does do miracles.
  I do thank each and every one of you for your concern and may God bless you all.

  Tiff

Quote from: Tiffany Elise on November 26, 2006, 07:06:46 PM
He says they are understanding of alternate lifestyles.
  Second; the rest of the family is so sheltered they don't know what a transgender is.

I didnt know being Transgendered or gay is an alternative lifestyle. You may want to educate the word "alternative" and its ignorance. If this was a choice or an alternative I'd certainly choose to not be this way.

Very true Lori there's nothing alternative about this!   
and i think Tiffany is learning that as well.
Tiff.. I'm glad your situation worked out a little better and not for the worse!
hugs
ricki

Quote from: Lori on November 26, 2006, 07:16:05 PMI didnt know being Transgendered or gay is an alternative lifestyle. You may want to educate the word "alternative" and its ignorance. If this was a choice or an alternative I'd certainly choose to not be this way.

People generally think it's something we DO, rather than who we ARE.

For them, it seems like we're indulging in a weekend hobby gone mad, like how some people dress up in civil war costumes and pretend to shoot one another in mock battles. Imagine if one of them decided to make the war full-time and go shopping in their uniform. Same idea in eyes of the public.

Two males I've told about me said the same thing. "Oh it's weird for sure, but I try to tolerate alternative lifestyles." Gee, thanks for *tolerating* me, as if they're being all wonderful and noble by doing me the FAVOUR of not stomping on me outright.

Incidentally, this is why I cringe a bit (getting off topic, my apologies) when people suggest that a transsexual is defined by what he/she has DONE to date (therapy, HRT, SRS, etc.). That's just missing the point, IMHO. We are what we are, regardless of how (or if) we attempt to solve it.

When I was "Coveyed" recently, (7 Habits of Highly Effective People class,) somehow or other the word 'tolerance' came up, and the instructor said we want to go beyond 'tolerance.'  She provided the following ladder:

                                Celebrate
                       Value
            Accept
Tolerate

Of course I want me and us to be at least valued.  When I look at this scale, 'Acceptance' seems, well, rather like second-best...

Karen

  I know what you mean by the terms but I just relayed it as it was relayed to me.
  For me it's not an alternative lifestyle as it's my life I live. I don't mind the tolerate thing either because it saves a lot of battles among the family and I tend to look out for the wife and kids. I'd rather just overlook some things for them.
  It did show me something very sad though.
  As I said I didn't know what a transgender or transsexual was until last year and here I am one. All I knew was how I felt and that I couldn't share it with anyone.
  Coming here I'm learning so much thanks to all of you and it's a joy just to have people I can relate to. As I said elsewhere, you all are more like family than some blood relatives in some areas.
  The sad part is that so many judge what they do not understand. They say we go to hell and don't know what a transgender is. On TV some call us perverts or worse and don't have a clue as to who we are, how we feel, what we do or how we live. To them we're just perverted people making a choice or demon possessed perverts that reject God and waiting to go to hell.
  I have a mixture of emotions on this. Anger towards those who judge without knowing anything about us and sadness that they will probably teach their children to follow their ways of ignorance. And their kids are innocent until they sow their seed of corruption and warp their minds and harden their hearts against us.
  If I offended anyone by repeating what they said I'm sorry. Please forgive me. That was their words and not mine.
  I'm just relieved as this could have blossomed into a rather horrendous nightmare for my family.

  Tiff
 

Tiffany;

Sadly, I think that many in society need to create devils.  They have a world-view that it's a cruel and inhospitable world, and you constantly have to stomp out evil to survive (or something like that.) 

What if each person saw their lives filtered through an internal movie script?  If your script-world had magic and miracles, you'd seize on random co-incidences to prove that magic did indeed exist.  and if the script called for satan to appear, well, you'd just have to cast people into the role.  And the role of satan/devil/demon looks kind of like a laundry list -- homosexual, sexual predator, pedophile, transsexual, president-with-cigar, etc. (It's amazing to me that embezzlers, environmental polluters, sweatshop-owners and other money stealers (to include politicians) get punished more for getting caught than for their theivery.  But I rant...)

But in your case, I'd call what happened to you a 'miracle.'  Against type, these relatives you described have turned out to be either accepting or without pre-judgement.  Hallelujah!

You do have an opportunity to make hay whilst the sun shines.  You can educate your relatives in what TS is, with out most of the pre-conceptual baggage you find in society in general, and literalist religion in particular.

Karen

I guess I'll never understand why some of the most devout followers of the Bible are the least tolerant of God's creations.  God doesn't make mistakes.  She made us this way for a reason.  Maybe one reason is to open the eyes of those very same people who take words from the Bible out of context to promote intolerance and hatred.  God wants us to teach them what we already know, all life is sacred.

A line from the movie The DaVinci Code (paraphrased) - As long as there has been one true God there has been bloodshed.

How sad.

Thanks to all who posted the Bible quotes.  I figure what's good for the goose... so I will keep those quotes handy the next time the born again members of my family thrust their myopic, twisted views upon me.

Julie

Tiffany my reply to this post is in reference to a section of what Kate posted

QuoteIncidentally, this is why I cringe a bit (getting off topic, my apologies) when people suggest that a transsexual is defined by what he/she has DONE to date (therapy, HRT, SRS, etc.). That's just missing the point, IMHO. We are what we are, regardless of how (or if) we attempt to solve it.

And its true for you, me, her all of us.  Thinking this way surely helps us in seeing ourselves the way we are and not how others tell us we are or say we should be!
cyber hugs
Ricki