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Wondering what they think/Not being able to tell?

Started by notyouraverageguy, August 30, 2010, 05:53:39 PM

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notyouraverageguy

#20
Matt, id hate to not get read 100% while on T. I think that's when it'll really get to me.

Quote from: insideontheoutside on September 02, 2010, 02:25:11 PM
Are they planning on sleeping with you? Does your ambiguity just rock their little boats so much that they can't make it through their day without knowing the answer to that burning question of, do you have a penis or a vagina (which honestly is what they're asking - which if you think about it that way is even more rude).

Im not sure why people wonder so much..but people care..I guess they want to see how you fit in society, or how they should treat you..and your answer changes the way they view you. I agree that it should only matter to those you're intimate with..but in a sense, most people are asking if you were born with a penis or a vagina.

Elvistears,
Haha this one restaurant I go to always asks me if I want the kids menu :/ I mean its good cause they're cheaper and smaller meals, I don't eat much, but I hate being seen as 10 and under.
You should try somewhere else, or take a kid to order it for you! Or take me and ill trade you meals haha!
:D
Gender expression is NOT gender identity.

Defective Catastrophe.
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Matt Chase

Quote from: Femboy on September 03, 2010, 12:48:03 AM
I agree that it should only matter to those you're intimate with..but in a sense, most people are asking if you were porn with a penis or a vagina.

heheh... porn.

/contribution
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notyouraverageguy

Gender expression is NOT gender identity.

Defective Catastrophe.
  •  

insideontheoutside

"Let's conspire to ignite all the souls that would die just to feel alive."
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Alun C

You know what --- Yeah... I just recently started school, the reason behind my absence >>;; , and I've introduced myself as ALUN, but my teachers INSIST on calling me by my birth given name. It bothers me because those who DO call me by Alun seem to say it questionably and such, as if they can't tell whether I'm a girl or boy with slightly boobish pecs XDDD -- It's weird because I don't know if I should maybe SAY something...? Or maybe perhaps write an Email to each teacher..? I know I've had to explain the basic of "FTM" to atleast 4 or 5 people now.... But I really need everyone to know about me because I'm a lot more comfortable with the name "Alun" than I am with my usual nickname "Nami". I know, quite happily I should add, that my girlfriend of nearly 11 months, has started calling me Alun~ <<33

This... probably hasn't helped XDDD


Alun
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LeeIam

@ Alun, I think I would be a good idea to send a polite email to some of your teachers. When I was in school, I found that when the teachers started calling me Liam the other students caught on.

About the topic, I think that people just need to know because the first thing anyone notices about anyone else is if they are male or female.  Then they base all their interactions with you on that initial judgement. (or hopefully you have been introduced as male). A lot of people will be put off if they don't know how to relate to an individual and feel uncomfortable. That first interaction is very important because once the person as a "female" mental cue in their mind it's going to be a lot harder for them you call you "he".
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Alun C

Quote from: LeeIam on September 04, 2010, 12:43:56 AM
@ Alun, I think I would be a good idea to send a polite email to some of your teachers. When I was in school, I found that when the teachers started calling me Liam the other students caught on.

I would -- But I honestly have no Idea what to put and/or write.... Which is another reason many of the students haven't caught on, even though I have 7 classes, I only have 4 teachers *Not counting the temporary substitute for math >>*

Thanks LeeIam~


Alun
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Matt Chase

Quote from: Alun C on September 04, 2010, 09:38:58 AM
I would -- But I honestly have no Idea what to put and/or write.... Which is another reason many of the students haven't caught on, even though I have 7 classes, I only have 4 teachers *Not counting the temporary substitute for math >>*

Thanks LeeIam~


Alun

Hm, i wonder what you do put in an e-mail like that... Normally i'm really good at making up polite messages but it's not really the most common situation. Maybe something like

Hello Mr./Ms./Mrs. ____,
I am a student in your __ hour ____ class(es). Though my name is listed on the roster as _____ _____, I prefer to be called Alun. I would greatly appreciate it if you would be willing to adjust your seating chart/attendance list to reflect this, and refer to me by my chosen name, as well as using male pronouns when talking to or about me. I sincerely apologize for not letting you know this sooner [but it is a somewhat sensitive topic and I didn't want to make the classroom atmosphere awkward.] Thank you so much.
Sincerely,
Alun C. 

That's probably what i'd do. The bit in brackets is something i might put but it may not apply to you. You don't need too much explanation, just straight-up tell them what you want and the teachers should be willing to do it as long as you ask politely. The nice thing is that you only have to write one e-mail, then you can send it out to all your teachers, all you have to do is change the teacher's name and the hours you have with them. You probably don't want to use that exact wording, when i write formally it tends to be a little flowery :P If you want to add more detail you should, but you can use that as a reference, those are just the basic things they'll need to know. Good luck!
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Alun C

Quote from: Matt Chase on September 04, 2010, 11:30:41 AM

Hm, i wonder what you do put in an e-mail like that... Normally i'm really good at making up polite messages but it's not really the most common situation. Maybe something like

Hello Mr./Ms./Mrs. ____,
I am a student in your __ hour ____ class(es). Though my name is listed on the roster as _____ _____, I prefer to be called Alun. I would greatly appreciate it if you would be willing to adjust your seating chart/attendance list to reflect this, and refer to me by my chosen name, as well as using male pronouns when talking to or about me. I sincerely apologize for not letting you know this sooner [but it is a somewhat sensitive topic and I didn't want to make the classroom atmosphere awkward.] Thank you so much.
Sincerely,
Alun C. 

That's probably what i'd do. The bit in brackets is something i might put but it may not apply to you. You don't need too much explanation, just straight-up tell them what you want and the teachers should be willing to do it as long as you ask politely. The nice thing is that you only have to write one e-mail, then you can send it out to all your teachers, all you have to do is change the teacher's name and the hours you have with them. You probably don't want to use that exact wording, when i write formally it tends to be a little flowery :P If you want to add more detail you should, but you can use that as a reference, those are just the basic things they'll need to know. Good luck!


*extreme fan girl ahhh* THIS. IS. AWESOME~

My Newspaper/AP English teacher will probably be a bit stressed but still understand. She knows me well enough to know that I get what she needs done. My yearbook/APUSH *US history* teacher slightly understood so an email should help clarify that~ Yay -- My Art 2D/3D teacher is amazing so she'll definitely be cool with it -- Annnd my german teacher .... ho ho ho-- He loves me and my group cause we're tarded but do amazing XDDDD

Thank you so much Matt~ :DDDD
( AND LeeIam, and Femboy for asking~)

<3 Alun
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Matt Chase

No problem. Good luck again, tell us how it goes.
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notyouraverageguy

Quote from: LeeIam on September 04, 2010, 12:43:56 AM
About the topic, I think that people just need to know because the first thing anyone notices about anyone else is if they are male or female.  Then they base all their interactions with you on that initial judgement. (or hopefully you have been introduced as male). A lot of people will be put off if they don't know how to relate to an individual and feel uncomfortable. That first interaction is very important because once the person as a "female" mental cue in their mind it's going to be a lot harder for them you call you "he".
This is true, once the first impression is set into the mind its hard to change it especially if its how they see you genderwise.
Gender expression is NOT gender identity.

Defective Catastrophe.
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Doveglion

This happens to me a lot actually especially right after I get my haircut. Usaully I'll be at a store or somewhere and when I go to check out they say something like "Thank you-" and then give me a blank look because they don't know weather to call me sir or ma'am. People seem to of gotten better about calling me sir since I've moved though I think a lot of it is I'm a lot more confident and sure of myself now and I don't feel like I have to play girl because I'm not in a super small super dangerous for trans or anyone out of the ordinary place.

I've also started wearing this watch my brother gave me as a going away present which seems to help me pass o.o I didn't think something that small could do so much. But I'm not going to complain and it's a very spiffy watch o.o much better then the yugioh one I had for most of my existence XD
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JosephKT

Had a weird experience at work where my manager and I were giving a trial class to probably nine kids.  At the end one of the mothers came up and asked my manager if we had any female instructors working there, to which he answers "well, other than Ms. Ahn (gestures towards me, I'm standing right next to him) the owner of the school is a mother of two." 
Now the weirdness is usually when I'm teaching a class of 4-6 year-olds I use my "excited, approachable, happy" voice which is anything but masculine, as opposed to my "if kicks don't get higher I'm ordering more push-ups" voice which has passed as being a guy's voice.  There is no way this woman, who's been watching us run this class like a hawk didn't hear me at one point or another saying something to the effect of "try one more time, you can do it!  Alright, high-five."  So part of me is thinking, was that supposed to be some sort of jab at me, or have my mannerisms come to the point of where I just appear like a teenage boy with the occasional high pitched voice thing still happening.
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