So, this week has been pretty tough. Just got back from vacation and was feeling very down. I enjoyed the time away very much, but there was a part of me that felt it was a delay in my transition. The wife has been having some trouble coming to grips with things this week too, which she shows at times by having a cold/resentful attitude, short temper with me and the boy, mentioning that my son has told her on occasion that it would be fun if I left for awhile (don't think she realizes he says the same about her), casually mentioning that I could leave for some time if I wanted and finally coming up with ways to count up how much transition is going to cost. Not terrible things, but she is VERY passive aggressive and comes up with little ways to make her points and draw a little blood while still maintaining deniability since she doesn't out-and-out say things bold faced. It is only fair that I give her the space to rant and work things out as this is a BIG change, but support at home has been a bit lacking and it is taking its toll on me.

I have been doing little things like letting my nails grow and not cutting my hair, but I hadn't been able to work on larger things yet. Therapist said HRT discussion next week, so I do have that to look forward to. In the meantime, also had a consult for laser facial hair removal and will most likely start that very soon too. Finally, in just a fit of desperation and frustration yesterday, I shaved almost everything below my neck. Chest, stomach, back, arm pit and leg hair all gone. I've shaved my legs before and almost all those other parts, but have very rarely done it all at one time. All of a sudden, I felt so much better. I have B cups naturally, and seeing them without hair all of a sudden made them BREASTS and not man boobs. I kind of hefted them in my hands and the site of my more feminine hands with longish nails was startling. I could all of a sudden see some of the female shape (and female life) that my future will hold. It made me so happy that the stress disappeared for awhile. It made me excited for the future and I vowed never to let any of that hair grow back. I can't wait to take the next steps!

Hugs to you, girl - I wish I was as far along.  I'm still trying to work up to telling my wife that I want to get some things to wear - nothing fancy, just maybe a pair of jeans, a pair of capris, and a couple of tops.  I can't dare shave anything yet, 'cause the kids don't know anything, and there's next to no privacy in the house - they all still live at home.  So skirts and sleeveless tops are out.  And I'm letting my hair grow a bit, but I haven't said anything about that yet.  I'm hoping to find a gender psychologist soon, and that might allow me to move things ahead a bit more quickly.  I have found a support group that meets twice a month, and I'll be going to my second meeting next week.  I would SO much like to go there at least a little bit dressed.  THAT would make me feel a bit better...

I wouldn't be shy about shaving. J do it and wear shorts and if anybody notices, they say nothing. So many guys are "man grooming" now it is more normal. Was in a barber sharp a few months ago a guy got up from his cut and mentioned he needed to head home to shave. Stylist mentioned he looked fine. He then said he meant his legs. He then said thAt his teenage son does it too.

As for the rest, nobody should notice chest and armpits unless you are in the habit of going shirtless.

Quote from: Melody on August 19, 2010, 01:42:46 PMAs for the rest, nobody should notice chest and armpits unless you are in the habit of going shirtless.

Well, as a f'rinstance... on a normal morning, there are three of us "guys" (me (NOT a guy) and my two sons) in and out of the bathroom getting ready for work/school.  If I'm shaving, I'm typically wearing a robe, which doesn't (quite) cover my chest, so that would get noticed.  Not to mention, I might be coming out of the shower just as my son is shaving.  I can cover up the "bits" under those circumstances, but not much else, lol.  I've just made a call to find a gender psychologist, so hopefully I'll soon be getting some counseling - that should help, in that it will allow me to get my feelings in order, and decide whether and when to either come out to my kids, or let them start wondering...

Wow, sounds crowded! And you need more privacy!

Don't I know it!     I'm hoping the older ones will start to move out soon, then maybe I can get on with things, not to mention that'll give me and the wife more time and privacy to make the decisions we need to make...

Quote from: Colleen Ireland on August 19, 2010, 12:09:21 PMI'm still trying to work up to telling my wife that I want to get some things to wear - nothing fancy, just maybe a pair of jeans, a pair of capris, and a couple of tops.

Well, I just did this - so now I'll start building my starter wardrobe.  It might make her nervous, but it won't come as a surprise.  To her credit, she's really trying to be accepting.  When I said "I want to go to Value Village and buy some things to wear," she knew what I was talking about, and just said "Okay."  I'm going to assume she meant that as "Okay, I understand," not "Okay, you have my permission" (which I do NOT need, lol...)

QuoteI shaved almost everything below my neck. Chest, stomach, back, arm pit and leg hair all gone.

Back? how?

My first move was to shave everything, but if i hadn't got my wife to do my back I'd have been stuck (and now that she has vowed to quit, I'm scrambling for other options because i can't afford waxing)

There are places I JUST CAN'T reach.

Quote from: Tammy Hope on August 20, 2010, 12:11:45 AM
Back? how?

My first move was to shave everything, but if i hadn't got my wife to do my back I'd have been stuck (and now that she has vowed to quit, I'm scrambling for other options because i can't afford waxing)

There are places I JUST CAN'T reach.

I have a weird hair growth pattern. Hair on my legs grows fast, on my head VERY fast, but on my arms and back not so much. Just a little tuft fairly high up on my back that I have never seen, but I can feel with my hands and the wife has shaved on occasion (since she doesn't like it). Was very easy for me to just reach behind and shave.

I imagine you could rubber band a lady razor to a stick or something and shave your back on your own if you wanted? Necessity is the mother of invention!

Oh yeah, I'm a vet at shaving. This was just the first time I did it after finally admitting to myself that I was trans, so it had a deeper meaning. In the past, I would get tired and let it grow back. I won't let that happen again.

I also had my first session of laser hair removal on my face yesterday. I have a thread on that, but all I can say is ouch!

I had the usual lightish male hair that the estrogen just about removed but I did have a patch on either side of lower ribs and down centre lower back is some that still grows quite fast.

If you are still sleeping with your wife she may not like you all bristly at all as the hair grows back.

After shaving your legs it is nice to use a body lotion that has a tan in it. That way you can get  'tanned' legs that look so much better in skirts and shorts, and not have to wear nylons. Although I do like wearing nylons (stockings), in summer it isn't fashionable here.  I also find depilatory cream is really good for arms and the difficult to reach places.

As for zits etc, make sure you exfoliate your skin at least once a week to remove the dead skin. There are lots of nice products and use a loofah or body glove, feels awesome and is an important part of a beauty regime.

Also moisturize every day, whether you are wearing makeup or not. Cheap facial moisturizers are just as good as expensive according to the Choice magazines. Remember not just the face but also your neck.  Even if I'm having to go drab I always use a little mascara. It is difficult to notice and means a lot.


Cindy

Well, I just shaved my chest, belly and shoulders this morning for the first time!  Yay!  Feels way different, and LOOKS way different - more feminine, of course.  Nobody's seen it yet - I'm planning to make sure nobody does except my wife, and I'm expecting some interesting discussion when she does.  This is the first "major" (yes, I know, it's really not) change I've made in my appearance since telling her about me, and it leaves very little room for interpretation...  I'm hoping this will help speed things along a bit in terms of us being able to talk about this, without being too in-your-face about it.  'course I'll have to follow up tomorrow to get all the little pickies I missed...

Feels great, tho!

Quote from: Colleen Ireland on September 08, 2010, 04:06:41 PM
Well, I just shaved my chest, belly and shoulders this morning for the first time!  Yay!  Feels way different, and LOOKS way different - more feminine, of course.  Nobody's seen it yet - I'm planning to make sure nobody does except my wife, and I'm expecting some interesting discussion when she does.  This is the first "major" (yes, I know, it's really not) change I've made in my appearance since telling her about me, and it leaves very little room for interpretation...  I'm hoping this will help speed things along a bit in terms of us being able to talk about this, without being too in-your-face about it.  'course I'll have to follow up tomorrow to get all the little pickies I missed...

Feels great, tho!

Good for you and good luck!

And today I spent more hours as Colleen than ever before.  An hour with my therapist, and two hours with my support group.  And each time teaches me more and more that I AM Colleen, and I need this!  While I'm dressed, I'm happy, relaxed, comfortable, wonderful.  Vivacious, funny, and I'm getting lots of respect from the trans friends I'm with.  Sure is a great confidence-booster!

Quote from: Colleen Ireland on September 08, 2010, 09:36:47 PM
And today I spent more hours as Colleen than ever before.  An hour with my therapist, and two hours with my support group.  And each time teaches me more and more that I AM Colleen, and I need this!  While I'm dressed, I'm happy, relaxed, comfortable, wonderful.  Vivacious, funny, and I'm getting lots of respect from the trans friends I'm with.  Sure is a great confidence-booster!

Yeah, the wife and I went clothes shopping yesterday. Got my first complete outfit ever. Bra, underwear, shoes, leggings, skirt and top. The ladies at the shop were quite funny as they made it quite clear they understood the clothes were for me and that if I just wanted to buy stuff for myself, they were very OK with that  Maybe next time.

Anyway, I have noticed that Melody is slowly emerging more and more. I can easily see where she will become the dominant personality, but sometimes D fights back like a reflex. But it almost feels like he is dissolving away and becoming integrated into a new me. Parts of him remain, and will always remain, but I get to choose which parts. Can't wait to start HRT. Meeting with my endo next week.