So to speak.

I was thinking about this earlier while binding - and I definitely hate my chest more. I mean, it's more difficult to hide. With the downstairs part, nobody will notice unless I'm in a situation where I pull my pants down and I have a fear of public bathrooms so that solves my bathroom problem.

I think it's simply that my dysphoria goes more insane if I can see my boobs or even a boob lump, for that matter. With my vagina, as long as I don't pay attention to it, I'm good. Well, if I'm sitting in class at school and my mind wanders to anything sexual-related or just about genitalia in general, my mind will push my own genitalia to the front of my thoughts and that's all I'll be able to think about for hours at a time.

It seems more reasonable to hate your vagina more since that's your genitalia and all, but honestly, if I could only choose one of the surgeries (top or bottom), I'd probably choose top surgery. I'd rather have a flat chest and a vagina than a huge chest and a penis.

My chest.   I don't like it and I want it gone.  I look down and I see my chest, while I can't see my downstairs.  The chest prevents me from passing, too.  It's such a pain and it makes me sad just thinking about it...

I'm the same as you...I hate the chest more than the vagina. I can live with the vagina, but the chest I can't. Maybe it's like you say cause it's  more visible

Upstairs, no doubt.
I can deal with not having a dick, but the chest tumors make me sick. The fact that I can't bind all the way down perfect flat just makes it worse.

I hate my chest more too. I wish it would go away. My vagina I can deal with because I can't see it all the time.

I guess I'll be the odd one out and say downstairs. Reproductive organs, vagina, lack of penis, all of it.

My chest isn't all that big and not all that hard to hide for the most part so it's not such a big deal although I do still hate it.

My chest is large and I hate it more then I do anything else. Although I do want hysto and bottom surgery.

Upstairs, without a doubt. I hate how people use my chest to decide who I am. They'll go, "Excuse me, sir? -stares at chest- Oh, I mean, ma'am." Rude. )<

I'm gonna agree with silver.

my bottom dysphoria is worse.. top is bad too, but bottom is worse.  for a few reasons.

-my chest grossness will be gone within a few years, but bottom surgery is realistically not going to happen, i will always have a vagina, and never have a decent sized penis.
-the lack of dick really bothers me
-the anatomy of the vagina/ vulva is very unappealing to me, I find it repulsive that I actually have one.
- I am a gay guy, most gay guys hate vaginas
-I COULD get pregnant, that is terrifying for me.
-the fact that I have ovaries and stuff, repulsive to me.
-if i want a bulge, i have to pack, ad packing is uncomfortable and its not real.
- sex and masturbation, i feel i am missing out
-periods

Im gonna have to say downstairs. I have menstraul issues and I hate raggin all the time. I can hide my chest farely well and Im overweight so it looks like I have man boobs.
I dont wont and will not live with moobs and vag. I plan on surgery.

I'm kind of on a hate both front haha  because i hate that i have boobs, and i hate the fact that binding wont get them manly flat.....but, they can be removed and i wont have to live my life with them. though it will still be a few years before i have the chesticles removed    i might have to agree with Elijah and Silver more.....periods are a pain and it totally emasculates me and i dont even leave the house during those days in fear i'll leak and be found out  also bottom surgery is not very promising and most guys cant even piss through it in the end result. i have penis envy and i want one so bad, and its so disappointing that bottom surgery results arnt like the real thing    I hate my downstairs just as much as upstairs.

Chest. I read somewhere recently (can't remember where) the quote "to be a guy means to be proud of your dick, whether it is long or short, thick or thin, big or small" and no matter how lame that kind of is I really believe it.

Quote from: Carson on September 08, 2010, 05:18:28 PM
Chest. I read somewhere recently (can't remember where) the quote "to be a guy means to be proud of your dick, whether it is long or short, thick or thin, big or small" and no matter how lame that kind of is I really believe it.

That makes sense, but if I get bottom surgery, I'd love to have a big penis. However, a small penis would be nice as well.

Edit: Also, your cat is adorable.

Just chiming in with downstairs being the greater of the two evils.  To me, there's nothing remotely acceptable about having a uterus, but at least if I can dissociate, I can admire my chest as that of an imaginary lover.  Still, if I could only get one surgery, it would be top surgery, because my chest is huge and it affects passing more, and I think bottom surgery could improve a lot in the future.

I hate hate hate not having a downstairs & that it's not possible to have a really working and functioning downstairs.  I ache to have a downstairs.

I hate my upstairs but if I had a downstairs I think I could totally live with an upstairs

Now that I have the appointment (tentative) for removal of the inside bits, it's defiantly the top part that bothers me the most.
As much as I try to expect it not to come through, I can't help but to feel that heavy relief as if it's just.. gonna be taken care of.

This is something I'm answering in retrospect, because I did not fully expect it.

Top: because once I got rid of my huge and unbindable chest, my dysphoria dropped so significantly in so many ways I was shocked. Of course I still want a proper penis, but getting rid of the chest tumors was a life changer. I'm no longer in constant mental agony and it means I can be more patient now with dealing with the 'downstairs' stuff. I never fully appreciated how much of my body-hate was due to that hideous chest.

At the moment, id say my chest.
Its not huge, but its not tiny..and im not overweight to have man boobs. My tritop doesn't get me the flat enough look that I want. So I deal with this constant everyday.

On the other hand, one of my top dysphorias is the lack of a real fully functioning dick that I can actually feel through.

I mean top surgery can happen, it can be done, its not completely out of reach and has promising results.
There basically is no bottom surgery. It doesn't look real, you can't feel through it, the results are not promising.
If I could have a real fully functioning dick, like most biomales are born with, then yes id say my bottom is worse. But since that's not possible, id say top.
So I deal with the bottom, why try to fix something that isn't broke. I've learned to cope and be okay with it since what I want isn't possible.

Chest. My bottom half I can better imagine as male/masculine. I don't see it or touch it. My chest is very obvious to me and I guess to other people. It's not avoidable.

Upstairs. I have a skinny upper half and feel more comfortable not having a ton of loose fabric lying over my torso, but knowing that people are going to be picking them out if there's even a hint of their existence bothers me a lot. They're not even that bad as far as chest lumps go, but they bug me. Plus, most of the dysphoria comes from the way other people treat me, and they can't see what's in my pants. No binder yet, I'm overseas and kind of between sizes at UW and haven't decided which one to go for.

Downstairs I just disconnect from until I want an orgasm out of it. There's enough down there that I don't need any internal stimulation, although there seem to be internal portions of the clitoris that are more easily reached from slightly inside (seriously, how big is that thing once the bits under the skin are accounted for?).