First off i know the first thing peaple think...."if you consider this you should reconsider if your a tg"...well there is no doubt that i am and im already on hrt...my wife is very very suportive of my change. but i cant help but feeling "is it so bad to just want to do this one thing for her?" you know at this time in my life im happy living full time and behing on hrt...i cant say having srs would complete me more then the woman i already i feel i am....is it really wrong that i would want to maintain that part of me just for her? personaly i love sex with my wife...its a unmatched closness we share that cant be wrong to want to keep for her. id like to hear what others think about this...thanks shannon (Id really like to hear pro's rather then con's, i dont need the "mabey your not trans crap" lol)

I tried that to save my marriage, but when you just can bring yourself to use 'It", it really doesn't help.

Just saying

It sounds like you really want to please her.. I would suggest finding creative ways of doing just that, that you also can feel comfortable. Penis isn't the be all end all and forcing yourself to get creative could add some steam to the bedroom She will only enjoy what your doing if you are enjoying pleasuring her.

I don't think it's in any way bad or negative for you to feel this way. If it is something that you can deal with or even enjoy doing then do it. Who cares if other people think it makes you less trans or not trans at all? Bianca and I refer to these types of responses as people taking the "->-bleeped-<-r-than-thou" approach, meaning that it is a way to make someone else feel like they are above you on the community ladder.

Making love and having sex are two different things and I think some people forget that. You are talking about doing something for her and with her that is a way of sharing yourself that you would not consider doing for just anyone. You want to do something that you feel is (or may be) within your realm of comfort in order to bring happiness to someone you love, that is natural and normal. Everyone wants to see the people they love happy, and the only thing better than seeing them happy is being the one who made them happy.

With Bianca and I both being trans we've had to tackle this issue in our relationship more than once and as time goes by and SRS starts we will have to tackle it all over again. We both did a lot to make the other person feel comfortable and in the end it was loving each other so much that really made it possible for us to get past the sex issues and explore our options (so to speak).

So do what you think is right, from the sounds of your post you'd like to at least give it a shot so do that. If it ends up being something you can't deal with then figure it out from there. You'll never know if you don't try

^ Well put

thanks for the good advice and words