Ok, I dont know if you tube links are accepted here. I was browsing you tube earlier today. I came across a video of a young preop who look stunning. To see the video, when youre at you tube type in jess first shot of estrogen. Tell me what you think, I think she is very pretty for someone in early stages of transition.

She is very pretty, but looks and sounds very female.

Some people are just really lucky I suppose.

:/ Am I the only one who intentionally avoids looking for really pretty trans-women specifically those who were hugely passable before doing anything?

It's hard enough to deal with feelings guilt and resentment that I was unfairly cheated out of things and now struggle to live with/recover what assets I've got and get over what I irrecoverably lost and become a worthwhile functional person anyway.
Seeing individuals who seemingly were given everything on a platter waiting for them to take it only tends to amplify these feelings of embitterment at myself and my body which is something I don't need.

I avoid it because looks aren't everything and I can live and be happy as a slightly ugly/mannish woman but when you see them still you want to ask "But why do I have to be? and why don't they have to be?" And that's not a healthy thing to do because there's no answer beyond dice roll genetics or life situation and will make you ungrateful for what you do have, because alot of Transwomen have it a hell of alot harder than me in more ways than just appearances and it's just so pathetic for me to wallow in self pity all the time.

I'm with Pebbles on this one. My sentiments exactly.

And pebbles you are not "ugly". "Ugly or ugliness is a term referring to  a person or thing that is unpleasant to look upon and results in an unfavorable evaluation." You are certainly not that.

Mannish , Some of us tried really hard to look "mannish" over a long period of time. It will just take a little time to reverse those effects.

   Hugs, Erocse

Quote from: pebbles on September 30, 2010, 06:41:55 AM
:/ Am I the only one who intentionally avoids looking for really pretty trans-women specifically those who were hugely passable before doing anything?

It's hard enough to deal with feelings guilt and resentment that I was unfairly cheated out of things and now struggle to live with/recover what assets I've got and get over what I irrecoverably lost and become a worthwhile functional person anyway.
Seeing individuals who seemingly were given everything on a platter waiting for them to take it only tends to amplify these feelings of embitterment at myself and my body which is something I don't need.

You are absolutely not alone. I tend to get self conscious around pretty girls, but even more so around very pretty transwomen. I try to remain happy for transwomen who've had a smooth road and an excellent transition.

I have no problem looking at pics, but actually being in their presence scares the bejeebus out of me..

As Interesting as the video was, I'm not really sure what it demonstrated.

However, it is utterly stupid and dare I say it, childish, for any of us to feel anything less of ourselves becuase this girl is, quite frankly, pretty.

OK, so we're not going to be catwalk models. Like 99.999% of every woman who's ever existed.

Some of us, for many reasons are destined to remain ugly ducklings.

That's life. We each of us need to make the best of what we have.

That's what beautiful girls have always done.

Apologies for the rant.

It's not so much that she is pretty. It's more that she is so passable, even before she started HRT. It's more jealously on my behalf, than anything. Not so much resentment.

Here is another video of a very passable girl who hasn't started on HRT. And yes, that makes me jealous.



Edit: (Second part of the video, for those who are curious)



I'm only 1 year older than her, I've been on hormones for just about the same amount of time and seeing her makes me feel a bit hopeless.

Studies have shown that ggs feel worse about their appearance upon looking through fashion magazines. Before handed a magazine, they answered more positively about their lives and bodies, after looking through the magazine, worse (will post link if I find it again). Looking through youtube would seem to be about as unhealthy for trans girls as magazines are for ggs.

Quote from: Nero on September 30, 2010, 12:01:15 PM
Studies have shown that ggs feel worse about their appearance upon looking through fashion magazines. Before handed a magazine, they answered more positively about their lives and bodies, after looking through the magazine, worse (will post link if I find it again). Looking through youtube would seem to be about as unhealthy for trans girls as magazines are for ggs.

Couldn't have said it better Nero.  Maybe there's an element of masochism here.   

Quote from: Julie Marie on September 30, 2010, 12:30:38 PM
Couldn't have said it better Nero.  Maybe there's an element of masochism here.   

haha xD, I'm certainly not a Masochist  Just... Overly self critical.

Maybe I'm just a weirdo, but I feel better after watching these videos.  Seeing these transgirls passing so flawlessly gives me hope, and makes me think that someday I might be able to do the same.  I think it helps that they're "real" though; seeing girls in magazines is different because they've been photoshopped to impossible proportions.  Check out my video if you want to see an example. 

Quote from: SamanthaFLA on September 30, 2010, 11:45:59 AM
Here is another video of a very passable girl who hasn't started on HRT. And yes, that makes me jealous.

Have a look at what she look like now after I think approx. 8 months on HRT.   I'm Asian too, though I'm guessing a few years older, maybe I have a chance.... (I wish / hope !!!)

I find this topic really interesting because in fact Bianca has this issue with other transwomen where we live. Sadly while many of them are passable not as many are "pretty" by societies standards (this is just from looking at the ones who come to the local support groups and events), they are still pretty women they just don't fit "the standards".

She gets treated differently by most of them when in a group setting. She tends to be the person that gets called out and picked on the most. I'm certainly not saying she's super gorgeous (of course I think so but I'm engaged to her so I'm biased lol), but she was blessed with a smaller figure and more feminine facial features as well so her transition went pretty smoothly once she started HRT. It outrages me to see them treat her differently, especially the ones who you can tell do it out of pure jealousy and vanity, especially when they attempt to point out the flaws in her looks publicly just to make themselves feel better. Plus none of the things that helped in her transition made her life before any better, almost all of those things worked against her while she tried to live the role of male as she was expected to. One kid actually shattered her hand in high school shop class with a hammer because she looked "gay" to him when she was living as male. The kid wasn't even punished for this action and it was far from the first time someone hurt her because she looked feminine, which is equal to "gay" when it comes to men in America.

I bite my tongue often but it is very hard for me not to just call them out on it sometimes. She isn't perfect looking by any means, but just because she passed better than someone else it's horrible for them to put her down or make her feel like less of a woman. 

And it is true, the study about cis women and magazines. I hated magazines when I was still trying to act like a girl. I mean I'm trans and want to be a man so it gave me even more to be concerned about lol, but I've definitely seen society's standards of beauty take it's toll on many women who were already gorgeous ladies to begin with, both trans and cis. I see that a lot here, many of you are already beautiful but so often I see you all having discussions about the little imperfections.

Maybe it's just strange of me but I always made a point of telling the transwomen I met how good they looked and pointing out their good features or their great outfits, many women have had me buy them drinks at the bar when I saw them sitting alone looking lost and down. Everyone looks prettier when they have something to smile about

Cowboi, you are one of the sweetest guys ever. The way your talked about her, and how you defend her all just made my heart melt. I have a guy in my life whom I love dearly, and you remind me of him. Makes me want to cuddle with him right now.

Quote from: Cowboi on September 30, 2010, 04:35:00 PM
I bite my tongue often but it is very hard for me not to just call them out on it sometimes. She isn't perfect looking by any means, but just because she passed better than someone else it's horrible for them to put her down or make her feel like less of a woman. 

I think it's wrong to sit there and point out people's imperfections under most circumstances. The only time I think it's alright is if they come forward and ask your opinion. I would never sit there and shoot someone down like that, I think it's plain wrong and very rude.

Quote from: Cowboi on September 30, 2010, 04:35:00 PM
I find this topic really interesting because in fact Bianca has this issue with other transwomen where we live. Sadly while many of them are passable not as many are "pretty" by societies standards (this is just from looking at the ones who come to the local support groups and events), they are still pretty women they just don't fit "the standards".

She gets treated differently by most of them when in a group setting. She tends to be the person that gets called out and picked on the most. I'm certainly not saying she's super gorgeous (of course I think so but I'm engaged to her so I'm biased lol), but she was blessed with a smaller figure and more feminine facial features as well so her transition went pretty smoothly once she started HRT. It outrages me to see them treat her differently, especially the ones who you can tell do it out of pure jealousy and vanity, especially when they attempt to point out the flaws in her looks publicly just to make themselves feel better. Plus none of the things that helped in her transition made her life before any better, almost all of those things worked against her while she tried to live the role of male as she was expected to. One kid actually shattered her hand in high school shop class with a hammer because she looked "gay" to him when she was living as male. The kid wasn't even punished for this action and it was far from the first time someone hurt her because she looked feminine, which is equal to "gay" when it comes to men in America.

I bite my tongue often but it is very hard for me not to just call them out on it sometimes. She isn't perfect looking by any means, but just because she passed better than someone else it's horrible for them to put her down or make her feel like less of a woman. 

And it is true, the study about cis women and magazines. I hated magazines when I was still trying to act like a girl. I mean I'm trans and want to be a man so it gave me even more to be concerned about lol, but I've definitely seen society's standards of beauty take it's toll on many women who were already gorgeous ladies to begin with, both trans and cis. I see that a lot here, many of you are already beautiful but so often I see you all having discussions about the little imperfections.

Maybe it's just strange of me but I always made a point of telling the transwomen I met how good they looked and pointing out their good features or their great outfits, many women have had me buy them drinks at the bar when I saw them sitting alone looking lost and down. Everyone looks prettier when they have something to smile about

Thank you for posting this... there is a real "grass-is-always greener" aspect to this all.  I've had experiences similar to your girlfriend.  The trans community is particularly problematic -- I'm either faced with hostility for my looks and situation or a bizarre aspect of hero worship/ fetishistic behavior towards me.  It gets worse the longer I've been on HRT.  Constantly having to deflect guys away from asking me out without outting myself makes a lot of social situations very awkward.  In certain places, I'm viewed as a bitch because I've turned people down.  Being pretty doesn't make your life better it just changes which complications you need to deal with.

"God help you if you are an ugly girl, but too pretty is also a don't, everyone harbors a secret hatred for the prettiest girl in the room."

I aim for average looking at best, for myself I mean, when it comes to other people I don't care if they are pretty or not.