Quote from: Shades O'Grey on October 07, 2010, 03:28:41 PM
I wish I had a more sushi.

Granted, one parasite platter coming up...

I wish I had more close friends.

Granted, but they'll all fall manically in love with you and stalk you for the rest of your life.

I wish my desk were tidy.

Granted, it's so tidy that nothing is on it anymore.

I wish I was in better shape.

Granted:  you are the most beautifully shaped pretzel I ever saw.

I wish I could do three things at once  and then relax before repeating it.

Granted.  You grow extra two arms for handling things.  You work 14 hours a day, relax for a 1/2 hr and begin again.

I wish I had a better figure, more curvy.

Granted. You have a marvellous figure now, but the face of a toad and you stink like rotten fish.

I wish I had a nice partner.

Granted... You now have a nice partner but they have the face of a toad and stink like rotten fish 

I wish my birthday lasted longer and I could get presents for a whole week

Granted. Your birthday lasts a week, but that's because it took you a week to be born - you are 5.000 feet tall.

I wish I could get done with the translation I'm working on in the next couple of hours.

Quote from: Fencesitter on October 07, 2010, 06:53:00 PM
I wish I could get done with the translation I'm working on in the next couple of hours.

Granted, now all your work is in Chinese.

I wish I was a more average female height.

Quote from: Ayaname on October 07, 2010, 07:42:06 PM

I wish I was a more average female height.

Granted:  You are now the height of the average female etruscan pygmy shrew.



I wish for happiness.

Granted. Your worst enemy is full of happiness now, whereas you are absolutely miserable.

I wish I'll have a nice week-end.

Granted, but you will be having so much fun that time will fly very quickly.  Better get started; you have 5 seconds until Monday.

I wish that it will be sunny all week.

Granted, sunny all week causing dryness, excessive hear, drought, and fires.

I wish I wasn't so impatient.

Granted, you're so patient, you wait till the end of the universe to act on anything.

I wish certain people weren't coming over for thanksgiving (saying they died won't work in this situation be creative).

They don't come over, but you have the same amount of food you would have even if they did, which causes you to eat more. All the food is tainted with bacteria which only affects you if you eat too much, which you do because there are less people there to compete with. You therefore get horribly sick for a long period of time.

I wish I was telekinetic.

Granted, you are now telekinetic, but unfortunately due to a rare genetic aberration in the telekinetic population you have no brakes and hence no ability to stop thing s once you have set them in motion.  As a result all your things are smashed to pieces and you are covered in cuts and bruises and usually find that you have to stay in bed all day for safety.

I wish I was a young girl again.

Quote from: rejennyrated on October 08, 2010, 03:57:52 AM

I wish I was a young girl again.

Granted.  You are physically and mentally one day old and remain so for the rest of your days.

I wish I had miraculous healing powers.

Granted. You have mircalous healing powers but now thousands of people come to you everyday wanting you to heal them and it annoys you to no end. I wish I was slender.

Granted. You're so slender, you slip into cracks in the floor and get blown away with the lightest breeze.

I wish I didn't see the results on my last assignment compared to others....

Granted. You've become blind.

I wish I knew how too cook Asian food.