Just to make things clear. I am not out to anyone and I still present as female, my hair is actually shoulder length so I can still do this. My mom called me today and started yelling at me about how I look. I have told her that I am trans before but she acts like I never have. She is very transphobic. Today she said she is uncomfortable with how I dress because I look like a dyke and people think I am one. She has gay friends, so I don't see why this is an issue. I assume she really is homophobic and is just pretending to be ok with it since that's the popular opinion. For awhile the conversation was just me saying something like: If you aren't homophobic then why do you have a problem if people think I am a lesbian? Eventually she said that her main issue was me being transgender. I made it clear to her that I was planning on transitioning after I become financially independent. So she no longer wants to help me pay for college so I can become independent. She said she would talk this over with my step dad and they will decided if they are going to disown me. I live with my grandparents. My grandmother loves shows with gay men, but she is also homophobic and transphobic. I know my grandfather is agaisnt gay marraige but he said he wouldn't love his child any less if they were gay. My mom and grandmother both would love their child less. Since my grandfather said that, I don't think he is going to kick me out. I really just don't know what to do. I really only have about $1,000. This is happening a lot faster than I thought it would.  And to top it all off I have never known my biological father, only reason why I even know his name is because it's on my birth certificate. No has ever talked to me about it, so I know nothing. I just assumed there was a good reason why he wasn't in my life. However his family has been sending me messages on Facebook.

I have a similar experience, though I wasn't disowned.  My mother is also transphobic and homophobic.
I left home several months ago. Fortunately I found a place I could stay until I find a better living solution.
Do you have a job? If not, get one if it is at all possible.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm guessing you're a minor. If landlords/managers are allowed to lease apartments and such, look into that. Or find people who would like roommates (which makes it cheaper but it might be hard to find anyone who would be okay with having a minor as a roommate).
You could also au pair (also might be hard to do if you are a minor)

And if you can become financially stable (even with a low income) you may also qualify to become emancipated, which would help with getting financial aid for college.
You could also look into guardianship if you can find someone who would be willing to become your guardian.

Bad stuff can happen to good people, and I'm sorry that you have to go through this. I hope you won't have to use any of this information.

I am 21. The cheapest apartment around here seems to be about $800 a month. I do work part time and make about min wage. I only get about 10 hours a week. Thats normal for where I work. I don't have experience in child care. I don't know the first thing when it comes to taking care of kids. I'm under the impression I can't apply independently for financial aid until I am 25.

Quote from: Sharky on November 09, 2010, 03:44:16 PM
I am 21. The cheapest apartment around here seems to be about $800 a month. I do work part time and make about min wage. I only get about 10 hours a week. Thats normal for where I work. I don't have experience in child care. I don't know the first thing when it comes to taking care of kids. I'm under the impression I can't apply independently for financial aid until I am 25.

Sometimes, in certain situations, you can apply for financial aid without your parents.  Some financial aid doesn't require your parents information, while FAFSA does.

Good luck and I"m sorry to hear things are going this way.

Quote from: LukasGabriel on November 09, 2010, 03:59:10 PM
Sometimes, in certain situations, you can apply for financial aid without your parents.  Some financial aid doesn't require your parents information, while FAFSA does.

Good luck and I"m sorry to hear things are going this way.

Oh I didn't know that. Now if only I could decided a major. I hate the idea of transitioning at work. I wish there was some legit at home job or something.

You can apply independently for federal financial aid if any of the following apply:
(1) You are 24 or older by December 31 of the award year
(2) You are married
(3) You are a U.S. veteran
(4) You're an orphan, a ward of the court, or were a ward of the court until age 18
(5) You have a child or legal dependent
(6) You are a graduate or professional student
(7) A financial aid administrator makes a determination of financial independence because of your unusual circumstances.

Abandonment and abuse are the usual "unusual circumstances." Being disowned and thrown out of the house would constitute "abandonment," but you'd need to document it in some way (for instance, if you stayed in a youth shelter, they could help document it).

Quote from: kyril on November 09, 2010, 07:34:05 PM
You can apply independently for federal financial aid if any of the following apply:
(1) You are 24 or older by December 31 of the award year
(2) You are married
(3) You are a U.S. veteran
(4) You're an orphan, a ward of the court, or were a ward of the court until age 18
(5) You have a child or legal dependent
(6) You are a graduate or professional student
(7) A financial aid administrator makes a determination of financial independence because of your unusual circumstances.

Abandonment and abuse are the usual "unusual circumstances." Being disowned and thrown out of the house would constitute "abandonment," but you'd need to document it in some way (for instance, if you stayed in a youth shelter, they could help document it).

Can you be legally abandoned if you are 21?

I'd assume that, if it comes to that, you could go to a court and get yourself officially emancipated from them.  I'm not sure on the specifics, but I know that it varies by state.  I really hope that things work out, though! 

Quote from: Sharky on November 09, 2010, 07:41:44 PM
Can you be legally abandoned if you are 21?

Presumably you can, if your parents can be expected to provide support for you until you're 24. And you are eligible for youth shelters and other services for LGBT youth - using them would help document your situation.

(As far as I know, however, you can't be legally emancipated after you're 18, because at 18 you're already an adult and the emancipation would be irrelevant.)

Presumably you can, if your parents can be expected to provide support for you until you're 24. And you are eligible for youth shelters and other services for LGBT youth

Unless there is some special circumstance court order in place from a divorce decree no parent in the US is required to support any child after the age of 18.  Also, at 21 many 'youth' programs will no longer be open to you.

Required vs. expected: parents aren't required to support their adult children, but are expected to help finance their education, and the burden is on the child to prove that the parents aren't providing any form of support. It's obviously not legally abandonment, but it's the sort of thing that qualifies as an "unusual circumstance" for purposes of financial aid (whereas merely living on your own, supporting yourself does not).

And many/most LGBT youth programs go to age 25 now. It's worth a shot.

Quote from: kyril on November 09, 2010, 07:34:05 PM
You can apply independently for federal financial aid if any of the following apply:
(1) You are 24 or older by December 31 of the award year
(2) You are married
(3) You are a U.S. veteran
(4) You're an orphan, a ward of the court, or were a ward of the court until age 18
(5) You have a child or legal dependent
(6) You are a graduate or professional student
(7) A financial aid administrator makes a determination of financial independence because of your unusual circumstances.

Abandonment and abuse are the usual "unusual circumstances." Being disowned and thrown out of the house would constitute "abandonment," but you'd need to document it in some way (for instance, if you stayed in a youth shelter, they could help document it).

Also, Re: (2), if you have a close friend of the opposite legal gender, especially if this friend is also seeking financial aid, you can get legally married for this purpose.  I actually did this because it's a great way to "stick it to the man" when you're in a place that doesn't allow gay marriage (if you're in the US, chances are your state is one of these; otherwise any friend will do), and it will qualify you both for federal financial aid.  Depending on your school's financial aid department, this might end up being easier than pursuing (7).

I never knew my mother. And my father is dead... and my guardians had stopped talking to me. I was only 18 when I tried to get FAFSA.

I went into the community college's financial aid office, and basically spieled myself to them. I told them all I could at the time, and they worked with me. And guess what? Everything worked out. That last determining factor does a good bit for help. If they know you're a special case, and you can somewhat prove it? They hopefully have big enough hearts and open minds to help someone seeking education.

Haven't been disowned yet. I guess she chickened out and didn't want to talk about it with my step dad. Back to pretending like it never happened.

I'm glad to hear that, but I'm sure it's still really stressful for you.  I hope that she can come to accept you.