I do understand LordKat. I hope my response didn't appear glib.

But for now, Jeatyn and the rest of us, will just need to meet each challange as it comes along.

I do hope Jeatyn will continue to tell us how things are progressing and talk about problems. I and I know you and others will be here for him.

spacial - pretty sure Jeatyn prefers male pronouns

My sincere apologies. Yes, he does. I will correct the lat post. I am so very sorry jeatyn. I'm thinking of pregnancy. But that's no excuse for such thoughtlessness.

heh no problem Spacial, I confuse even myself these days.

As for my midwife, I can tell she doesn't like me. She was actually the one who called social services on me in the first place. For no reason whatsoever as far as I can tell. She always acts really odd around me and it makes me really uncomfortable. She talks to me like you would a scared child. "Are you ok?" - and then gives me a creepy smile and a "knowing" look when I give her a cheerful "Yeah I'm fine thanks!" then ensues a good few minutes of awkward silence with her looking at me "sympathetically"

She also keeps trying to push me in to mother and baby groups, every time I see her she gives me the same bloody leaflets. I tell her I wouldn't feel comfortable in these places because of my odd situation to which she responds "nobody needs to know about your gender issues! you'll just be like any normal mother!"

She also won't shut up about breastfeeding, I've been given the same breastfeeding DVD no less than 5 times. I feel like I need to get a mega-phone and scream into her ear that I have a breastpump, give me information about this, I have no idea how to use it. The kid is getting nowhere near my chest but she will still be getting the milk, I fail to see what the problem is here.

When I ask her about crap I actually need to know about, like exactly what I will need to pack in my hospital bag....and what I need to do for a birth plan. She waves me off saying it's too early, and that I can look it up online if I really want to.

These people infuriate me

Think I know the type you mean Jeatyn. Many of these types have lost their perspective, sadly.

This is an NHS site which will suggest some things you will need in your bag.

http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/pregnancycareplanner/pages/Packforbirth.aspx

If I may suggest, don't forget books and the like.

Man, I'm sorry that your midwife isn't accepting. The breastfeeding thing though doesn't surprise me. They told my ex girlfriend she NEEDED to at least 50 times every doctors visit when she said she wouldn't (she had to go back on her bipolar and anxiety meds as soon as she gave birth so she couldn't). At least you are going to do the pump though my daughter was just as healthy on her formula. Your brave man, I could never handle being pregnant. You don't have to go to those groups if you aren't comfortable with it.

Looking it all up online is a great idea. Hospitals will usually supply the babies first needs as far as formula and diapers so mostly just focus on things for you but if you know where you will be giving birth you could always ask them. My ex had a pillow that made her more comfortable so that went in the bag and a pair of pajama pants for her to wear out of the hospital as well as a book and some other things because she ended up having to have labor induced which meant a day of waiting around for her water to break. Spacial listed a good link and as far as other stuff if there is anything else that you feel like you need always best to bring it if you don't have someone who can run back for it.

Sorry for the rant. Best of wishes.

It's ridiculous man, I hate how they make people feel like demons for not wanting to/being unable to breastfeed. All the baby books and information I read go on and on and on about breastfeeding and how to do it and blah blah blah.....then I expect to see a "and for those of you using a pump/using formula...." but there never is. As if breastfeeding is the ONLY option and you're a moron for considering anything else.

My hospital bag I swear has too much stuff in it, I wouldn't pack this much for a weekend away. Then I have a separate one for my sister to come back and pick up in case I need to stay in hospital for some reason.

Jeatyn.

If it's of any consolation, most mothers don't breastfeed. Inspite of the rhetoric. But, believe it or not, it's actually illegal to promote alternatives.

Added to that, many midwives are incredably arrogant and self rightious. I recall, when I was doing my midwifery placement, when I was nursing, having a conversation with a midwife.

You may be aware that, midwives start as RGNs, then take a post grad course to become midwives. There are a number of other specialists like this as well in nursing.

Anyway, this midwife contended that they were more than mear nurses, because they can prescribe pethidine.

The reality is, they can choose to administer pethadine, in certain circumstances in much the same way as I, as a mental nurse, could choose to administer a number of drugs as well.

As frustrating as it is, to be quite frank, it's an ordeal every mother has to go through.

As a very old female Dr once said, to a group of complaining mothers, you got it in there, now it needs to come out.

I'm sorry to hear that you're having to jump through hoops like this, but it is possible that, once things calm down and they realize you and your daughter are fine, you will be able to use the people they are making you see for actually useful reasons.  I just hope that they figure this out sooner rather than later.  Nobody needs this kind of stress.  As a side note, you're going to be a fantastic dad, and I get the feeling that your daughter is going to be spoiled rotten. 

Jeatyn: When I was in the hospital to give birth they gave everyone a crash parenting course and taught them how to pump before leaving.  In fact, in my hospital they expected everyone to pump because "milk won't come in without it".

Even if they don't do this at your hospital, they're pretty easy to get the hang of so don't worry.  There might even be YouTube videos or something.

Well the latest news is the following:

1: The social worker blatantly refuses to show me the reports that he's written about me, I can see them the morning of the meeting just before we go in - this means I cannot pre-prepare any sort of statement, because I'm not entirely sure what his reasons are for wanting to take the child. I checked and legally I can see the reports if I put it in writing that I want them and wait 30 days blah blah. Not enough time -_-

2: The solicitor I got is apparently now on holiday for the next two weeks, how bloody helpful

Jeez. Your solicitor is on holiday...isn't your court date next week? What the heck are you going to do?

It's on wednesday, I'm wondering what a solicitor could even do....seeing as I don't know what the problem is specifically, I can't ask for advice on anything.

This is a f***ed up situation. You can't give thirty days' notice that you need the reports, you can't very well delay any of this--even if you had the power to (which I doubt), the baby is due soon, so the PTBs want to get all of this resolved before that time. Catch-22.

Whom do you have to support you through this, Jeatyn? I mean IRL. Who is helping you? Who can vouch for you in court? Anyone?

I have my two sisters, one of whom is actually a foster carer so she knows her stuff. This is making her furious because she can't see any reason for this to be happening to me. Unfortunately she lives in a different county so she doesn't have any pull with this particular branch.

I just received the report written about me

It turns out this did in fact all start because I'm trans. The midwife rang social services after her very first meeting with me to report that she was concerned that I wouldn't cope with being pregnant and having a child because I identify as male. Also apparently me telling them that I plan to resume transition and start hormones soon after the birth raises concerns that I will be putting myself before the baby and not focusing on her needs.

There's a lot in there about my mother and how she failed as a parent, I fail to see how this is relevant, especially considering she died 2 years ago.

The rest of it is about "mental health issues" - such as depression, social anxiety disorder, and unstable personality disorder. The first two I've never been diagnosed with (having GID obviously gives me traits of said disorders but they aren't a whole separate entity) and the third is a "diagnosis" I received from a psychiatrist they forced me to see a few months ago, and she made this diagnosis after a single 45 minute session with me.

Waiting till tomorrow, after your meeting Jeatyn. Doubt you'll be on before then.

You can tell us all how it went.

Thinking about you till then.

Knowing all of that information I do not see how they have a case against you. I hope things go well for you man. Good luck

Some of us will be pacing till we here why the idiot system is going to do.

  Seriously?
At least we know they have no good case against you.  I'm sure it will go well, but I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you anyways.  Keep us posted.