I am your mother - Rock and Roll den-mother at that. But your mom is right.
Here's how you do it. Simple, easy and almost foolproof. Go to the place of business the day before your interview. Do it slightly before lunch, and stay till after lunch. Carefully note what people are wearing. Show up for the interview dressed exactly like that. Walk into the interview so you can walk out and start doing the job right away. LOOK LIKE YOU ALREADY WORK THERE.
^^^^^^ - if you had done that to begin with you would have worn a white shirt and tie from the get-go.
that busses would make it impossible to make it on time to work or leave as late as needed
Yeah, I would have had you walking to the exit before you even finished the sentence. Can't be on time, can't work for me (or really anywhere I've worked in theater, it was even worse for my dad, he was an airline pilot). It's possible for me to let people go without working the extra time - given union time and a half and double-time I have people fighting to stay on so an 8 hour day pays X, 18 hour day - not uncommon - pays X + X + X +1/2X) but really I don't like that either so don't make a habit of it,* and you damn well better tell me that right after "Good Morning" so I can plan for it.
I should "theorically" not be penalized for not having a car.
You're not, your being penalized for not getting to work on time, regardless of how you get there. Fact is my bike and bus people have a far better on-time record then the drivers.
I think that you're trying to cut it too close. I get to work almost always an hour before I start. Because the next bus would be cutting the time to five minutes and in the Bay Area that's too much of a risk. Twenty minutes early is 30 minutes late! because of the basic hour factor (anything that goes wrong is going to take an hour). So I show up, sometimes I do some stretching, sometimes I get coffee and doughnuts, sometimes we all head out for a 'safety meeting' or I read... you get the picture. But, and I'm not alone in this at all, I'm just fanatical about it (as many are), but... When I give a start time of 9:00 I want the frickin hammers in the air at 9:00. I want to see that first keystroke at 9:00:0000001. I did the same thing when I was teaching that my undergrad school did - lock the door when the lecture starts. Every year the Dean would rag at me about it, every year I never changed it. I thought it was good training for 'the real world' if nothing else. That and I got there on time, why not you? And I see this all the time and it drives me nuts. They 'start' at 9, but in reality get there about 9:05, mill around for a bit, get coffee, check the sports page, put their tie on, take a dump, flirt and by the time they actual get their butt into position for a little work-place submission it's 9:20, 9:25.** Building habits of always being early will help you keep jobs, (get more jobs too, early bird, worm and all that) and you get a lot of reading done too.
But yeah, really, REALLY! think about your co-workers, your comrades, your union brothers, your stage sisters, or what-have-you and try to live up to whatever the most basic requirements are (and starting time is the very first one at that).
So yeah, this is a failure.
Not at all. You are young, just starting out, wet behind the ears, and have that unique mix of casual arrogance and studied earnest that older people hate so much about people in your age group. This was not a failure, you're on a learning curve - YOU'RE OK HERE SO LONG AS YOU ARE LEARNING AND IMPROVING. Better to get fired from job when you are 18 and not 48.
* BTW, I'm hip to the bus, been using public transit + bike + walking for most of my life, haven't even owned a car this century (I'd rather have the month to month and a half off thank you) --- anyway, my bus stops running at midnight, and does not start again till 6 am. I rarely get done in time to take a midnight bus. I have a wide bunch options to fill the time including napping at the theater, riding my bike and meeting the bus further on (20-30 miles) up the road (on a nice night the ride from Downtown, along the Embarcadero, out along the Marina and Bay, across the Bridge, down to Sausalito, around Richardson Bay and then the bike trail to Novato is stunning), I walk a lot, I have been working on my "San Francisco at 3am photo portfolio" for a decade now, coffee shops, a few nice places that serve breakfast all night, friends, or last - but not least and the favorite option - hang out doing some serious drinking with the boys for a couple hours after which I no longer care when the hell the bus shows up. I just figure that it is what it is, and this is the lifestyle/career/home and all that, that I choose. I could get a car, but I hate oil wars and I love bikes. I could move to SF, but my GF would not, so... or I could do something else with normal hours, but then I'd have to be normal. So, I have a lot of time between the hours of midnight and dawn, its up to me to use them.
** - it's the equivalent of one extra paid day off every month - and bet me that the people who are late in the morning, are late coming back from break, late back from lunch - you get the picture. And basically 'forcing' people to stay overtime at work to cover for you time after time will make you devastatingly unpopular at work. That's not being a 'team player' - and a hotel (any hospitality deal really) is a team (really 'crew' not team, but...) effort at all times. And I'll say this about hospitality work now: they are always putting in more hours. It the nature of the beast. My stuff, and everybody else in that club/theater are not doing some clear-cut 9-5 kind of deal. One of them lists on the show sheet (what is happening at what time today and other details) Shows Over: When You Hear Greensleeves. That's because we have been playing some version of that song at the end of the show since the 1960s, but note: no time. It's over when it's over, it is what it is. I've had bands go on on-time and end up doing 90 minutes more than the 2.5 hours they were telling us earlier. Which is fine. They are major stars, we're a major venue, if they want to play, we let 'em. Our contracts have a minimum amount of time they have to play, but there is no maximum.
If your on the staff of some hotel and the Vice Premier of Crookastan want's pickle flavor ice cream at 3:00am, guess what?