I've been thinking a lot lately about when the time comes to have kids (obviously I'm not ready right now) but it has been something that's been on my mind. I always wanted to have a son to call my own (my biological son). I thought about adoption. I thought maybe if I found a kid that looks like me and everything, it could be the same. I hope I don't sound selfish here. But like I said. It's one of those many things that have been on my mind. I thought about getting a surrogate mother, getting my eggs, and using a sperm donor, and then I thought about how much that would all cost. Probably over $50,000. I would never be able to afford that. I just get so depressed sometimes. That's only one of the FEW things on my mind. I still have to get a letter for T. Forget about that, let's start with a therapist! Then letter for top surgery (I could probably afford top surgery). I have to come out to my family too which knowing them they would probably stop talking to me. One night I stayed up till 4am worrying and crying my eyes out because it was just too much at once. But I want to be a boy. Sometimes I want it more than anything. I want to meet the girl of my dreams and I want to have a family of my own. All of it just doesn't seem possible right now. Can you guys help me out? Maybe some advice?   

Woah I feel overwhelmed just reading that man! You've got a lot going on in your head. Truthfully my advice would be sit down and write it out. Make a list of each thing bothering you then write down pros and cons

I want to raise a kid one day. I really wasn't sure on that until I raised my ex's kid for about 7 months and was her father. Blood didn't matter to me so I know now that I'm the type of person who can love a kid who isn't biologically mine just as much. Some can, some can't and there is nothing wrong if you can't. Just think about that.

Then therapy, if you can eventually afford surgery then chances are you can afford a therapist. Then the therapist will probably refer you to a doctor who will prescribe you T. Afterwards you can go back to that therapist to get your letter for surgery if you want or you can find someone else yo get your letter from.

It seems like a lot man but my advice to you is think it through, make a list, and when it gets way to overwhelming try walking away and throwing yourself into a project or talking to a friend just try to focus on something else for a while. You're young, you still have to see a therapist before you can start T anyway, that gives you plenty of time to plan and think so just try not to stress and get upset.

Thanks man. Really helps me out. And I thought I'd never get it but you know, now I'm starting to have dysphoria too. Well, maybe not dysphoria because I don't hate what's down there just yet, but I keep wishing I had something downstairs you know. Come to think of it, when I was 6 I remember thinking to myself what it would be like. Well. To have something down there. I thought I was a girl though because that's what everyone told me I was. But now I'm feeling something even stronger than when I was a kid.

Thinking about all the things you need to do to transition at once can be overwhelming, I know what you mean. Try to think about it one step at a time, figure out what you can do in the next few months to get you closer to your goal and write it down. Breaking things into short term goals helped me out a lot.

I get sad too when I think that I most likely will never have a biological child of my own, but there are plenty of people out there who adopt kids or have stepchildren that they love as much as if they were their own biological children. Keep in mind that not being able to have biological children isn't just a problem for trans people. There are straight, cisgendered couples who cannot conceive either. I like to think that if I took on the role of parenting a child I would love them regardless of if they were mine or not, and it wouldn't really matter anymore that they didn't look like me etc.