Quote from: Janet Lynn on November 27, 2010, 11:38:08 PM
So what if they are, Arch. You are still a guy, right?
I certainly hope so, but if they knew about my past, they would treat me differently and filter their conversation. I like that they glorify male anatomy. I like that they say that female parts are icky. I like that when I wear a plaid flannel shirt, they call me a dyke (they do this to any guy who wears a plaid flannel shirt).
I think most of that would go away if they knew. And one guy--he's a member of the discussion group at the Center, but I never see him at parties and these little gatherings--one guy would definitely have a problem with me. He's misogynistic, transphobic, and anti-lesbian. He once said that he didn't like women, and "the more masculine she is, the less I want to know her." I'm sure that he would see me as some kind of glorified dyke.
But he has an incurable disease and is living on borrowed time. I'm not wishing him dead, by the way, just stating a fact.
Everything I've said in the group and at these social gatherings is the truth--about my childhood, my upbringing, my family, my fantasies, my romantic relationships, my love of men--but I leave out a lot, obviously.
I don't want them to think that it was all a lie. None of it was untrue, except I did slip up once when telling a story in which I said that my mother called me by my guy name when I was a kid. I didn't say that intentionally; it just slipped out.
I just want them to treat me like all the other guys. It's so wonderful, and I've wanted it for so long.