Does...er...anyone else get this. usually in response to something silly a man has said or done. you know that white hot 30 seconds where you just want to kill, maim, burn!

then reality reaserts its self and you suddenly feel a lot calmer.

I'm not sure. I'll be more aware of my emotions and report back. All I know for sure, is that pre-HRT, that destructive desire was there most of the time. I kept it to myself obviously, otherwise I'd probably be in prison. Just kidding, but not totally. So much rage...

It wasn't really a destructive desire...more a case of man says something stupid...annoyance at said stupidity blossoms into rage...a happy couple of minutes typing up the reply to the email that annoyed me in the first place...rage subsides...get on with days work.

I usually get it to, and it comes out as one word.  "MEN", usually with frustration.

Quote from: Janet Lynn on December 13, 2010, 02:23:54 PM
I usually get it to, and it comes out as one word.  "MEN", usually with frustration.

Ahhh well if that's what Helena meant then yes, I get that too, a lot!

Present day, it's similar to what Helena described, and yes, men do do that to me, but not that often, but more-so now than ever before. Some women also make me rage, but usually for a much different reason, also extremely unusual. I'm usually quite calm and collected, so the rage is really unusual.

Quote from: In Limbo... on December 13, 2010, 08:42:46 AM
All I know for sure, is that pre-HRT, that destructive desire was there most of the time. I kept it to myself obviously, otherwise I'd probably be in prison. Just kidding, but not totally. So much rage...

This X 10000000000. Imagine the Hulk, on his worst day, with severe PMS. 

For me it's "stupid people" in general. Men, women, et al. Sometimes their ignorance, lack of manners, and level of stupidity is utterly shocking to me.

Quote from: JennX on December 13, 2010, 08:09:46 PM
For me it's "stupid people" in general. Men, women, et al. Sometimes their ignorance, lack of manners, and level of stupidity is utterly shocking to me.

You hit the nail right on the head, all of those categories are relevant. Just thinking about it makes me rage a bit (maybe I'm wrong to classify it as rage, it's much more subtle than that). It all makes me lose faith in humanity a small bit at a time.

Interestingly, I traced a lot of major rage issues back to taking adderall.

Adderall worked fantastically for me [for ADHD] prior to increasing my testosterone dosage.  Shortly after I increased my dose, I started experiencing overwhelming rage- often well out of proportion to the triggering event.

I was, for some time, terrified that testosterone was the culprit.  Thank god I have a wonderful therapist who suggested that Adderall could actually be the issue.

Switched from Adderall to Ritalin?  Problem solved.

Weird how body biochemistry can change on HRT, to the extent that other medications have to be adjusted.

I used to have issues with having a horrible short temper ... Stupid people would set me off and make me a cranky person for days.  When I started HRT, all that pretty much went away.  I'm thinking it must have been something to do with low Testosterone levels.  I'm pretty sure I had low levels prior to starting HRT. 

Recently, my Estrogen script was increased to a higher dose, and I'll honestly say that I'm being somewhat ... perky.  Things still bug me on occasion, but nowhere near as bad as before.

I had people at work today look at me like I was on crack or something.  It is so out of character for me usually.  I'm expecting eventually someone will pull the "Random Drug Test" card.

I noticed the same thing. I now have instant flareups of anger over stupid things like something falling or hitting my toe. I get so mad for an instant, then it's gone. I'm on T though.

I guess I'm a bit backwards, I no longer have that happen. I'm calm and even happy now where before I was angry at the world all the time.

Quote from: LordKAT on December 14, 2010, 06:57:13 AM
I guess I'm a bit backwards, I no longer have that happen. I'm calm and even happy now where before I was angry at the world all the time.

After sorting out the med issue?  Yep, ditto.
It's odd to feel so at peace with life.

Quote from: Muddy on December 14, 2010, 09:33:27 AM
After sorting out the med issue?  Yep, ditto.
It's odd to feel so at peace with life.

I agree ... I've spent so many years angry and frustrated at everyone, that when I realized i was being calm and mellow about all the crap that flies at me ... it shocked me a bit.   I'm diggin' it ... I hope it can continue.

Quote from: JennX on December 13, 2010, 08:09:46 PM
This X 10000000000. Imagine the Hulk, on his worst day, with severe PMS. 

For me it's "stupid people" in general. Men, women, et al. Sometimes their ignorance, lack of manners, and level of stupidity is utterly shocking to me.

@ JennX:

Honey, I could not possibly agree with you any more about this matter than I already do.  Story of my life.  THIS is the reason I bagged college years ago and have not done well with jobs.  The overwhelming majority of people I've encountered are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO stupid that it beggars belief and drives me to the brink of misanthropy and reclusiveness, believe me!!!!!!!

If you ever figure out how to deal with this, PLEASE tell me!!!

   Lacey   

Can't stand it ... honestly really can't!

Yes. But it gets easier to control with time.

Before starting HRT I would get very angry, irritable and I am ashamed to say this but even violent depending on what set me off...  I was pissed off most of the time and the rest of the time extremely grumpy and quiet ... but mostly calm except for those outburst...

After starting HRT, I am much more happier than I ever felt before and no longer very angry/ irritable.. maybe its more to do HRT giving us a sense of who we really are and our mind that balance that it so desperately craves....

however, I still loose it occasionally when someone does something extremely stupid....

I can't stay mad or angry for very long.
The emotions just seem to fad away.
Very different than pre HRT.
Jillieann

Quote from: Lacey Lynne on December 15, 2010, 01:04:43 AM
@ JennX:

Honey, I could not possibly agree with you any more about this matter than I already do.  Story of my life.  THIS is the reason I bagged college years ago and have not done well with jobs.  The overwhelming majority of people I've encountered are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO stupid that it beggars belief and drives me to the brink of misanthropy and reclusiveness, believe me!!!!!!!

If you ever figure out how to deal with this, PLEASE tell me!!!

   Lacey   

Can't stand it ... honestly really can't!

Annoying... aren't they? 

I recently felt angry at a guy for being a dick...but it was almost more bitterness...not really like wanting to harm him