Why Men Wearing Dresses Is Good For Women

By Hope Alexander

http://hubpages.com/hub/Why-Its-Bad-News-For-Women-If-Men-Cant-Wear-Dresses

Because much of the objection to men wearing women's clothing comes from women, I like to address the feminist issues associated with men wearing women's clothing from time to time. It might surprise you that there are any feminist issues associated with men wearing dresses and lingerie. After all, isn't it simply a men's issue?

No. No it's not. It is an issue that affects all of us because you see, the problem with men wearing women's clothing is usually the fact that it is seen as making men too feminine, which they're apparently not supposed to be. But think about it for a second, if we say that feminine men are bad are we not also saying to some extent that femininity in itself must be less desirable than masculinity?

The mind boggles at the inability of these feminists to think outside their box.

I'm sorry, but I could not get through that without my head exploding.

Talk about circular logic!

-Sandy

I kind of agree with the premise, why can't men wear dresses without stigma. It shouldn't matter the clothes style as much as whether they are clean, and in good repair as well as worn correctly. i.e. panties don't go on your head.

My mind hurts now.  I like to see a man dressed as a man.  Even when we women wear mens clothes it still come off as being femme.  A dress on a dude, will not look masculine no matter how they try.

Dresses should not be considered feminine and I never understood why that is.

I do not wear dresses and skirts very often, if ever, not because they make me feel 'feminine' but because I dislike losing my freedom of movement in them. That is why i prefer pants and shorts, because its easier to move around. It is true that if I wore dresses and skirts, people would consider me acting more feminine, but I really dislike the associations.

There have been MANY MANY points in history where men wearing robes or 'dress-like' clothing was more than acceptable, and it still is in some places. Japanese men wear Yukatas, which is very similar to a kimono, and men of many christian faiths wear robes. I believe that also in many middle eastern cultures wearing long 'dress-like' clothing is acceptable and sometimes practical for men as is for women.

People should be able to wear what they like and what they feel comfortable in. Everyone is right to have a preference on what they like, but I REALLY dislike all this talk of 'dressing like a man' and 'dressing like a woman' coming from everyone. I thought that transgender people, who already cross and blur the gender boundaries (according to most cis-folk) would be more accepting of a guy who just wants to wear a dress.

And yes, woman can make 'male' clothes look 'femme' but there are just as many women who wear 'male' clothes who end up looking 'like men' and that's perfectly fine too.

What boggles my mind is, what is the problem here?

Weird. Not meaning to sound offensive to either of you, but Dee and Janet: showing some serious prejudice there, unexpected. You don't think a dress on a man can be an expression of masculinity because, and only because, you've been socialised to see masculinity as exclusive of wearing dresses etc. No other reason than it's not what you'd expect. Nothing inherent to it.

I mean think of it like this: Janet, I'm going to change a couple things in your post and it'll be the prevailing attitude in western society until the 1960's
"My mind hurts now. I like to see a woman dressed as a woman. Trousers on a chick,will not look feminine no matter how hard they try."

And yet here we are a few decades later and few people think that or see it as unacceptable. What the both of you have said, and again I'm not meaning to offend but the truth is what it is, really is an example of the horrible thinking that is behind attitudes that cause much of the pain and discrimination that trans people and gay people and genderqueer people experience - conform to some narrow ideal of what gender expression is appropriate is or you're doing it wrong.

To be honest, I couldn't care less if a man wore a dress, but he would have to sit with legs crossed or together.  

I think there is a difference in not wanting a partner wearing dresses, it's just another personal preference along with other things, like height or hair colouring.

The thing that bothers me the most about men wearing dresses is that it is a womans that they would wear.  Not a good look on a man.

I happen to be part Irish and English, and men have worn skirts called kilts, which were made for them.
   

And your comment was from another time and from the male perspective.  My comment was from my perspective.  And I went back in the closet 20 years ago because of the very comment that I made.

For me I think it's important to make a distinction between my personal preferences, and how I think society should be.

As an example I personally have found that I've nearly always preferred girls wearing dresses to pants, but I don't feel comfortable saying that this is how all women should dress.

I would love society to evolve to the point where no one cares what clothing you're wearing, what gender you are or aren't, which one of 1000+ genders you happen to be... All that should matter is; you're a decent human being!

Personally, I prefer skirts 

Z

Quote from: Dee_pntx on December 26, 2010, 04:02:08 PM
Well no offense but I don't like men that wear women's clothes either.
When I do rejoin the dating world post-srs I want a MAN. 
I want a man that wants to get into my panties, not wear them!

Quote from: Janet Lynn on December 26, 2010, 04:20:22 PM
My mind hurts now.  I like to see a man dressed as a man.  Even when we women wear mens clothes it still come off as being femme.  A dress on a dude, will not look masculine no matter how they try.

I agree with both of you.

A man in a dress is just that "a man in a dress"

Quote from: pixiegirl on December 26, 2010, 06:38:37 PM
Weird. Not meaning to sound offensive to either of you, but Dee and Janet: showing some serious prejudice there, unexpected. You don't think a dress on a man can be an expression of masculinity because, and only because, you've been socialised to see masculinity as exclusive of wearing dresses etc. No other reason than it's not what you'd expect. Nothing inherent to it.

I mean think of it like this: Janet, I'm going to change a couple things in your post and it'll be the prevailing attitude in western society until the 1960's
"My mind hurts now. I like to see a woman dressed as a woman. Trousers on a chick,will not look feminine no matter how hard they try."

I also understand where your coming from. After all you don't see too many woman that wear dresses for everyday wear.
Go to today now, what do you see? woman (young girls mostly but not always) wearing pajamas for casual wear. You also see men wearing them, but the same color even cut pajamas will not look the same on a guy.
You could alter a dress to fit nicely for a guy, it still would not look good on a guy.

I love it when men wear dresses.  When I see a man in a dress, my thoughts range from "Sexy!" to "Cool.  He has the confidence to do something that's socially taboo for no good reason, and I respect that."  Outside of a drag show, or the SF city limits, it's pretty ballsy for a man to wear a dress in public.  I actually see it as masculine.

But I don't see why it matters whether I, or anyone else, likes or dislikes seeing men wear dresses.  Or any other type of attire.  People are free to wear what they want.  I support this, and wish for people to take full advantage of this freedom.

What I find odd is that so many people have a problem with a man in a dress but nobody has a problem with a woman wearing pants.

I don't think wearing womenswear makes a man feminine - mostly it makes him look pretty stupid unless he is a gorgeous drag queen.
the writer seemd to think that putting on a dress automatically turned on femaleness which we all know just does not happen.

It is a little past six. My wife calls from the road to say she is on her way home—hungry. She wears several hats, but mainly she is rabbi and high-tech marketing guru. I hold down a part-time job (currently working with Mary, Jen, Lauren, Kerry, and Shelly, our leader, sorting small packages at the local UPS hub); it pays excellent health benefits, but a mere fraction of her earnings.

I have done the shopping, and cleaned the house somewhat. Now I begin cooking. I know her favorite meal is steak, baked potato, and asparagus, but I cooked that earlier in the week. Friday, our daughter is home from college; she'll want my Italian roast chicken, roasted potatoes, and garlic sauteed spinach. So, tonight it'll be turkey cutlets with cherry sauce, brown rice, and braised broccoli. Broccoli is safe; serving her most green vegetables reaps the response: "Are you trying to poison me?" She will complain about the rice, but, I figure, someone has to keep her healthy.

Some nights, she takes me out for dinner. We go in her car; it's larger and more powerful. She drives when we go by car together. She'll pick a nice, quiet restaurant, preferably, one that serves prime rib. If their portion exceeds her ability to finish, often, we share. Like as not, she'll order a glass of wine, and I will sip some of it. When we finish, she'll pull the card out of her pants and pay (though there have been times she forgot her card, and I've had to retrieve mine from my purse).

All the years, our daughter was in public school, I picked her up after school, and I attended all the school shows. One memorable year, her mother was away from home over  200 nights, on business and at seminary. Her teacher lamented: "That poor motherless child." But, we got along well. The only thing we couldn't do together was bra shopping.

I do love my life. We will celebrate our 23rd anniversary on the first day of Spring (hard to believe Spring is coming after today), and we only love each other more as the years roll by. I am sitting combing out the longest locks in the family, wearing the size 18 lavender top she bought for me that day last summer when she whisked us off to her favorite spot to chill on the coast of Maine. As I read this thread, there is something comforting in knowing that we are preserving the sanctity of our home (and my attractiveness to other TGs) because neither of us wear a dress.

S

I have to say a hugely bearded guy in a lavendar top does not appeal to this TS though he may appeal to lots of TGs.

One of these days Simone and I will cook dinner together...or I may just watch as Simone cooks.

As for dresses, I'd like to get by with wearing a dress, I like dresses. I'd need to be careful about how much shoulder and belly it would show but if it were easy in life to throw on a dress and then I would. The trouble is, I throw on a dress and I am making a huge statement, more of a statement then I actually intend - So I'll make do with the odd blouse, trousers, socks, knitwear - what-have-you.

I'd like a 50s dress, something like this



Aquamarine tights, black Doc Martin boots and a leather jacket like this



Then I'd go to a club I like and dance till the morning.

Quote from: Pica Pica on December 27, 2010, 03:04:15 PM
One of these days Simone and I will cook dinner together...or I may just watch as Simone cooks.

I would like that very much.

Some people don't seem to find androgynes attractive. I've seen pictures of you looking exceptionally cute. And I will always regret I didn't get over there in time to take in one of your tours.

I wonder what these people would think of a pair of shoes I keep in my closet for special occasions—bought as men's shoes in the 1970s—high heeled, blue with red piping. I find them just the thing for fighting dragons or reading poetry.

Affectionately and respectfully,
S

Quote from: Dee_pntx on December 27, 2010, 04:00:55 PM
Love the dress.  The shoes are atrocious, ditch them.

As I said, I'd choose DM's.