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I was never called "ma'am" pre-transition

Started by CaitJ, December 24, 2010, 12:52:36 AM

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CaitJ

I often read threads where trans women talk about how they were often seen as female before they even started transition.
This is a thread for those of us who never had that happen.
I was never, ever called "ma'am" or referred to as female prior to transition. Not once. Not on the phone, not in person, not when I was a teenager, nor when I was a child.
So if you're also in this eclectic club of individuals, give me a shout out.
We are not lesser because of this. We are not any less 'special' than anyone else. Even though we were never mistaken for women in our previous lives, it does not make us less deserving of our femininity, or less female.
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Colleen Ireland

Thanks for this, Vexing.  I'm in the very earliest stages of transition - I still present as male most of the time, mainly because my wife and kids are still getting acclimated, and my wife and I haven't "quite" figured out exactly how we're going to move forward, but I am presenting as female in more and more situations, and thinking about going full-time sometime in the next six months.  And of course I've never been "ma'am-ed" except when I'm dressed (and it still feels a little weird to hear someone refer to me as "she" or "her").

I suspect most of the ones you're referring to are way younger, but you look pretty young, too, compared to me.  Anyway, you're right, there are GG's that look quite manly, and many bio-males that look quite feminine, and the ONLY determining factor of gender really is who you are inside.  Nobody can tell that by looking at you.  If they could, there'd be a definitive test for GID ("I mean, just LOOK at her!  Can't you TELL she's really a woman?").  We all need reminding occasionally that our condition goes way deeper than looks.

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MillieB

Got referred to as 'she' once by a drunken auntie, other than that, nope, not even in boymode now and I've been on hrt for six months.........Pah!
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Double_Rainbow

Well, I've yet to REALLY transition, but so far I've been told I have some feminine features on my face.  Never called ma'am, never mistaken for a woman(to my knowledge), or any other thing of that sort.  Somewhat worrying, but I'm trying to just remain calm about it and lose a little bit of weight and try all these different tactics to get my body hair under control.  ARGH!
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cynthialee

So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you can win a hundred battles without a single loss.
If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you may win or may lose.
If you know neither yourself nor your enemy, you will always endanger yourself.
Sun Tsu 'The art of War'
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James42

If I could collect all the she's and ma'ams and young lady's I ever got pre transition, i'd give you all of them...you ladies could split them up between yourselves  :P

Sorry to butt in btw
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Janet_Girl

No worries, James.  But coming into the girls area might get your toe nails painted.  LOL.  But you are welcome to be here.  ;D

I was never mistaken as a "she", "girl", "ma am" or any other female pronoun.  The only thing that makes the pre-transition mistakes shows is that some are feminine looking when they were younger.

For us, luck, talent and training does the trick.  Oh and may be a bit of surgery.
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MillieB

For the record James, I wouldn't paint your toenails. Not what goes through my head when I see your avatar at all! >:-)

What? Jus sayin! :eusa_shifty:
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James42

I've never in my life had my toenails painted lol as long as its not pink -.-

Quote from: MillieB on December 27, 2010, 07:19:23 PM
For the record James, I wouldn't paint your toenails. Not what goes through my head when I see your avatar at all! >:-)

What? Jus sayin! :eusa_shifty:

hahaha uh oh  ;)
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Glenn

But look up a few posts at Cynthalee, in the kitchen with apron on all smiles.  She just exudes woman hood and even more so mother hood.

Cute as a button
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Britney♥Bieber

Quote from: MillieB on December 27, 2010, 07:19:23 PM
For the record James, I wouldn't paint your toenails. Not what goes through my head when I see your avatar at all! >:-)

What? Jus sayin! :eusa_shifty:
I second this! lol. I read "sorry to butt in" and I was like who's butting in? you're so hot lol

lilacwoman

Just about the time Harry Benjamin was writing his book I worked as a bus conductor and practically every day during our breaks the bus driver would look me up and down and say 'You are just like a girl.' I never followed up on this in case it got embarrassing.  As I had decided a skinhead haircut and scruffy male clothes would defelect such comments from people I can only say I must have been giving off some sort of signal that to him said female.
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CaitJ

Quote from: lilacwoman on December 28, 2010, 04:07:44 AM
Just about the time Harry Benjamin was writing his book I worked as a bus conductor and practically every day during our breaks the bus driver would look me up and down and say 'You are just like a girl.' I never followed up on this in case it got embarrassing.  As I had decided a skinhead haircut and scruffy male clothes would defelect such comments from people I can only say I must have been giving off some sort of signal that to him said female.

Why did you post that in this thread?
This thread is for people who were NOT perceived as female pre-transition.
Not for people to come in and parade that they WERE perceived as female pre-transition.
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James42

Thanks Britney and Millie :T I've been needing that lately
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Britney♥Bieber



Janet_Girl

Quote from: James42 on December 29, 2010, 09:59:19 AM
Eh, long sad story :/

Awwwwwwwww.  I'm sorry James.  Girls, I think James needs some hugs.

Hugs, Handsome.
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Izumi

I wasn't "miss" and "maam'd" till 6 months into HRT. 

I mean it helps to start early but just because you screw up and start late doesn't mean the results will be poor.   I find that a lot of people just dont put effort into their transitions and expect HRT to do the work and do nothing to improve their own image in the way of health, diet, exercise, corset, etc.. etc..

There is also more to being identified as a woman the just looks. 
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Britney♥Bieber

I wasn't really ever mistake for a female in person before I transitioned. I have been mistaken for my mom on the phone when I answer and it's her friends or co-workers. lol.
I'm only 3 months on hormones but I haven't been passing until I started wearing makeup. But that's okay I like my makeup :)

Double_Rainbow

Quote from: Britney♥Bieber on December 29, 2010, 12:22:22 PM
I wasn't really ever mistake for a female in person before I transitioned. I have been mistaken for my mom on the phone when I answer and it's her friends or co-workers. lol.
I'm only 3 months on hormones but I haven't been passing until I started wearing makeup. But that's okay I like my makeup :)

How could you not pass?!?!?!  If that's you in the avatar!  You're beautiful! (and I'm envious  :P)
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