So maybe it's a mental affect of not having T or maybe it's a physical one but grrr towards today. I couldn't sleep last night so I didn't until this evening and was only asleep 4 hours before being wide awake. Before starting T I slept but didn't have a good sleep pattern when I started T that changed, I actually slept well. Now 11 days later I'm back to not sleeping right and crying. I'm seriously just having the strong urge to cry about something petty.

I really miss my ex today. I see all of these couples and hear about a lot of my friends getting together with people. It makes me feel more alone. Today my sister (not blood sister but still my sister) was great though, let me tag along to her future college and got me lunch. Her girlfriend has been supportive too, she knows how much I've needed to lean on my friend so she doesn't mind my occasional interruption and even invites me places with them.  But I feel guilty lately for doing that and my mom has been doing the same thing. Constantly letting me spend time with her and such since my ex took off but she's out of state for the week so I'm just feeling really alone.

I've been filling my time with job apps and reading ahead in my textbooks for when my online classes start. I just don't have someone to talk to at midnight. Sure my sister would and answer and her girlfriend wouldn't complain they even invited me over while I was asleep but I woke up too late but I don't wanna be that kind of guy. So instead I'm sorry but I'm looking for help from my friends here. I would love to just get in chat on here and focus on that for a bit but I can't get it to work Thanks for listening to me rant everyone.

You are a good guy, and I'm sorry you are hurting. 

I haven't used the chat in forever, but maybe I'll see if it works.

EDIT:  Nope, my Windows is still broke.  Can't install Java.  I won't be able to chat unless someone re-educates me on the use of mIRC (assuming that will even work)

Hi Andrew, Sorry the sleepless late nights are bothering you and you are missing your ex.

I used to find 2:00 am my witching hour. I would lay awake. When you can't sleep it seems that positive thoughts are no where to be found. Even with great effort to find them the negative ones blanket them and suffocate them instantly. I don't know why that is.

I hope you have a better day today.

Big Hugs.
Patty

Hope you're sleeping now (or slept well) and wake up feeling a bit better.

Sorry to hear your having a rough time.  When I find myself lying awake ... I do something so I am not thinking.  My family has awoken to wonderful homemade cinamon rolls or cookies...laundry done etc. 

Just know you have started down on a journey for which you will be happier.  Maybe you should get out and do things.  Hook up with one of the guys from your group.  Vollunteer somewhere... start developing a community of support for yourself.

Hey thanks everyone. Today is a better day Got some sleep and am seeing the world through a different light. Went out to get groceries and have my group tonight so I can get out and spend time with people.

Rob- Good idea I think I'll stick with house chores because if I try to cook then everyone will wake up to the smell of burnt food 

Yeah, smoke alarms aren't a good wake-up   Glad you're feeling better.

Andrew- could be the come down bit before your next shot is due? Whatevers causing it hope your feeling ok now but i'm sure with the strange hours we all seem to keep around here someone will always be awake at your midnight if you need to talk.  if its something you dont want out there in public pm me and if im online ill get straight back to you.

On a different note- Mrs Erosce- your avatar is amazing

Glad to see you are feeling better Andrew.

@Al James  Thank you.

Andrew-

I would have to agree with Rob. When I can't sleep (I get nasty bouts of insomnia sometimes) I try to tire myself out by doing things that are productive (and sometimes I can even find things I enjoy doing that I need to get done). When I was at school I would sometimes go for a jog and just take in the things everyone else was missing with their silly sleep.

Sometimes something like working out can tire your mind and body, and afterwords you will undoubtedly feel good about yourself (from the natural endorphins, the quietness that the repetition of exercise can bring to the mind, and knowing that you are going to look hawt if you keep it up).

I am glad you got some sleep though, and if you ever need someone to talk to you can always send a PM my way and I would be glad to chat with you.

Hugs!

Jackie

Lil doberman- nope, they really aren't

Al- Thanks man I think it might be the down in between shots but everyone seems to agree that it's impossible to already have that because that was only my first shot. Could be a mental, knowing its not in me anymore, sort of thing maybe. And thanks for the offer I'll keep that in mind next time.

Mrs. Erocse: I absolutely love the avatar though I do miss seeing your smiling face

Jackie- Thanks for the offer. You're right if I worked out every time I couldn't sleep I'd look real hot real fast haha but that is a good idea and a great way to look at it.

I won't lie, I wish I had the motivation to do it at other times, but usually I can't be bothered. If only I could find a happy medium, I could afford a more healthy workout schedule. Haha

I've found routine is cure for when I had bouts of insomnia. ROUTINE ROUTINE ROUTINE. My going to sleep process would start at 6. No more internet after that. 6-7 would be eating/watching TV. 7-9 would be reading some kind of boring material such as textbooks. At 9 I would go out for a bike ride to burn off as much energy as I could. 10 I would pop a melatonin pill and take a freaking hot bath, get ready for bed and read. 11:30 lights out. The key was to fall asleep before 12. Following that cycle I could, if I was awake past 12, I'd be awke til 7 the next morning.

Sleeping pills didn't work for me - I'd just lay there feeling close to paralyzed all night (sedated my body but not my 'wired' brain. It was an intense scehdule, but I was normally able to break cycles of insomnia by following that routine for a few days. Not sure why.. but that combination put me to sleep, Shutting out all stimulating things like tv and internet wayyy before bed time, then reading boring stuff to help shut the brain down, followed by exercise and bath, which helped shut the body down. +the melatonin which helps the body too. Absolutely no caffeine consumed (other then maybe a few bits in a piece of chocolate) during the breaking cycle.

I know insomnia sucks, but have you tried expermenting with schedules to help shut your body down so that it can sleep? Lots of different stuff like this is suggested all over the internet. I just took it to the extreme and mixed a bunch together. But then again, you likely have - insomniacs get pretty desperate.

Anyhow, as you can see, I have windows Live messenger. Feel free to add me up. these days my sleeping patterns are often 2-3am to 11am because I'd rather sleep in the morning then at night. So I'm up late.