I had my best friend over to watch movies and things with me today, and it was so great! She was one of the first people I told about my being trans, and has never given me any problems about it, and has been very supportive, but what she did just blew my mind!

We were sitting on the couch together watching TV, when my darling puppy decided he was going to spend the day loving her instead of me We were laughing about it, when she turned to my dog and said 'Don't be so silly! Go and sit with your dad!' while giggling.

It blew my mind! I've never prompted her to call me by male pronouns, or anything like that, and everyone in my family is always refering to me as my dogs 'mother'. It pisses me off, but I'm used to it, but then she just came out of nowhere with that, and it made my day! She said it about three times over the whole day, so it wasn't a fluke either

But then I had to go with my mother to get my hair cut (which is now a military mohawk) and was shocked to find everyone there calling me by my birth name! I've had my name changed for about three months now, and everybody in my family knows it's unacceptable to me to be called by it. Even my mother was very good about it and had gotten used to the change after about a week, and hasn't used my birth name since.

The head hairdresser is one of my mum's best friends, and that's what is so unacceptable to me! She knows how I feel about my old name, but refuses to do anything about it,  like tell the hairdresser that my name has been changed! I was so in shock that I just stood their silently, but the next time I will take it out of her hands and tell them myself!

She's had three months to tell this woman! ARG! It makes me so angry!

Still, my friend is awesome, so it wasn't such a bad day

I'm glad to hear your friend started using those pronouns without prompting. I am sorry that your mom hasn't told her friend.

I would suggest trying to talk with your mom about it. I hate to say it, but maybe your mother doesn't know how to breach the conversation with her friend. Maybe you can work something out? 

Hugs,

Jackie

Your friend is awesome

As hard and awkward as it can be, it's really your job to talk to the hairdresser.  A simple, "Please call me Max(?)" should suffice.  If it doesn't, don't go back.  I know she's your mom's friend, but I don't think it's her responsibility to tell everyone she knows.  I don't mean to be harsh, so I apologize if it's coming off that way, I just think you'll be happier in the long run if you take on the job yourself. 

Good luck 

Quote from: LilDoberman on January 06, 2011, 05:51:29 PM
Your friend is awesome

As hard and awkward as it can be, it's really your job to talk to the hairdresser.  A simple, "Please call me Max(?)" should suffice.  If it doesn't, don't go back.  I know she's your mom's friend, but I don't think it's her responsibility to tell everyone she knows.  I don't mean to be harsh, so I apologize if it's coming off that way, I just think you'll be happier in the long run if you take on the job yourself. 

Good luck 

I agree...not saying it to b mean. But like lidoberman said, just ask to be called (ur name). And if the hairdresser asks why then u can choose to tell her or say you'd rather not tlk bout it...but still, I wish u luck in handling this situation!

Thanks for your comments guys, and I'd agree with you, except for the fact that my mother demanded she be the one to tell all of her friends, not me.

Either way, I'm fixing it the next time I get my hair cut

Why is it your mother's responsibility to tell the hairdresser?

Because the hairdresser has been my mother's best friend for years, and my mother demanded of me that she always be the one to tell her friends about me, rather than have me explain it.

There will be a lot of 'ruined days'

Im sorry about the hairdresser, but thats awesome about your best friend. Im still working on reminding my best friend that I am Michael. She gets it maybe 25% of the time. Anyway, I know it sucks that your hairdresser doesnt have it down,  but you can always go to someone else, at least someone thats really important in your life is getting it.

I also had a good day.  Unfortunately, this was not it.