I want to start going out my hair but I'm not sure how to look presentable while doing it.

I've got a typical short men's hair cut and it needs to be cut, it's been eight weeks since my last one. I don't know if I should just cancel my next appointment or is there something my stylist could do that would help?

I could just let it grow and wear a hat but I hope to have a job interview in the not too distant future and I have a funeral coming up that I have to attend. Not really hat occasions. Plus I don't really like to wear hats but could get used to it if I have to.

So how do you let your grow out and still look okay? Are there styles that will let you do this? Something more androgynous?

I grew the back of my hair out in the past which was no big deal. And I realize now that yes it was a mullet. The wife still says it wasn't but it was and I'm pretty sure I lost the pictures I case you were wondering. ;-)

What did you do when you still presented as male at work?

Not sure if this will help, but when I last got a hair cut (which was a weekish before my last job interview) I just told the stylist to not cut more then an inch and a half off, but to make it presentable because I had an interview coming up. So... I basically left it all up to her to decide. By the way my hair at the time was a little below my chin, though I did the same thing previously when my hair was shoulder length.

That said, though these haircuts worked out for me, they're not anything like what I would have wanted as far as what my actual desires are. I don't yet have the courage to actually get an feminine or even andro haircut, even though I would prefer one.

I don't know if it's an option for you, but I have access to (if I chose to make use of them) certain salons/barber shops that are known to be trans-friendly in my area. If you are in the same situation, and are more motivated/courageous then me (pretty easy to accomplish that ) then you might go to one of those places. The stylists there will definitely have had similar requests in the past and will know how to help you out so you both like the haircut and feel confident that you'll present properly and professionally in a job interview situation.

Good luck

I've worn long hair on an off (mostly on) for decades and have plenty of experience with growing it out. First you need to realize that most everybody goes through what seems to them to be the dreaded "awkward stage", but not for long. Just know it will soon look much better. Actually the last time I did it I went through no such stage. I simply got in the habit of combing/gelling it back behind my ears for a fairly formal look until it was full enough to shape up and wear over the ears.

How it looks during these stages varies greatly depending upon your hair texture, density and curliness. Look at online for pictures of styles with your hair type at different lengths. There are good looks for most every length. Even if you have to shape it a bit during grow out, you can always even things up when once it reaches the longer length you want.

As far as gender and style go, I've experienced an interesting phenomenon. I found that when my hair looked boyishly shaggy people were less accepting of my appearance than when it was long (like shoulder-length blunt cut) and styled in a normal (if simple) way women usually wear it. My theory is that people tend to be more accepting of good-looking hair in a commonly seen style whether it's a style normally worn by your presented gender or not.

Lyric

My own experience, growing out my hair long before I even dared admit I was trans to myself, has been that long hair is no problem at all. You go through a slight awkward stage, but if you wanna present as male and care about how people see "male you" (which I didn't), some hair gel should do the trick until the hair grows long enough to officially go from "is that short, or is it long?" "to short half-long" (which is a subcategory of "long"). Grow it down to below the jawline, and that's about when you hit the magic spot - and before that, it can be styled as short hair.

Bottom line: IME, there's pretty much a point where your hair just flips over from short to long overnight - or, over a week or so. There should be little issue.

(This spoken by someone who was conscripted and spent a short while in the army with hair down to the middle of my shoulder blades.)

When I was growing out my hair I had an Afro and not just a little ones, talk about an awkward stage. I hate having insanely curly hair. It eventually flopped down though and I got it permanently straightened which helped tremendously.

You can always pull the ol' slicked back hair if you have a bad hair day or if you don't know what to do while it grows out. I think it can look really androgynous and professional at the same time. It works for almost all lengths too.

Here's a picture just for a bit of a reference

(and yes that's Zac Efron  )

Once it gets pretty long you can do the standard part in the middle or the side depending on the shape of your head (some people have a heart, diamaond, oval etc.). That's how I have mine most of the time and I think it's unisex for the most part.

and don't forget short hair can be very feminine too

As far as getting it cut goes (because there have been a few post on styling already), I'd say have your stylist simply trim the split ends every 6 months or more. You can also ask her to work out some of the "layers" you might have which will make managing it easier in the future. Most important, however, is patience. Just keep letting it grow and wash it only as needed. (This may not be every day if your hair is easily damaged.)

I wore a wig for around 6 months while my real hair grew out underneath.
Then went and had it cut and styled.

Quote from: Tamaki on January 15, 2011, 12:39:28 AM
I want to start going out my hair but I'm not sure how to look presentable while doing it.

I've got a typical short men's hair cut and it needs to be cut, it's been eight weeks since my last one. I don't know if I should just cancel my next appointment or is there something my stylist could do that would help?

Tell your stylist what you just told us, and I do mean a stylist, not the beauty school drop out at the $6 haircut place.  You get what you pay for.

Quote
What did you do when you still presented as male at work?

Read the HR policy on male hairstyles and just make sure it is within policy.  Keep in mind, women pass all the time with short hair.

Thanks everyone. There sure was alot I hadn't thought of.

I'll let me stylist know what I'm going to do and have her just trim it.

I'm a bit nervious since I've gone to her for 19 years and I'm not sure how much I'm going tell her but she's are really cool lady.

Quote from: Tamaki on January 15, 2011, 06:59:18 PM
I'm a bit nervious since I've gone to her for 19 years and I'm not sure how much I'm going tell her but she's are really cool lady.

Tell her the truth, its not the worst thing she's ever heard...

I'm having the same issue with my hair. My wife has started to really complain about it and it even started a few arguments. Maybe I shouldn't have told her she needed a new style and a good dye job to cover her gray?    My sister/bfd (who knows all about me) told me yesterday to "please get a hair cut".

I guess I will get it trimmed but the military flat-top is gone FOREVER!!! I am kinda surprised my boss hasn't made any sort of comment... 

KEEP GROWING IT!

do for you and don't anyone stop you!

When I grew my hair out it went through that awkward mid growth thing... My hair is rather curly and the only way I could get it to behave was to wear a hat

Wearing a hat would cause it to flatten out a bit and be more manageable... But of coarse, as soon as any moisture came about, there were the curly ringlets again

The only problem with hats is they are rather addictive and now I feel odd without one 

Quote from: Virginia Marie on January 16, 2011, 11:01:19 PM
When I grew my hair out it went through that awkward mid growth thing... My hair is rather curly and the only way I could get it to behave was to wear a hat

Wearing a hat would cause it to flatten out a bit and be more manageable... But of coarse, as soon as any moisture came about, there were the curly ringlets again

The only problem with hats is they are rather addictive and now I feel odd without one 

Haha yeah, I used to wear a hat constantly and when I started to grow my hair out it felt really weird to not have a hat on. You get used to not wearing one again after a while though and pretty soon wearing a hat makes your head hurt.

Your hair is actually a lot like mine, really curly and the same kind of texture. Have you ever straightened it? I keep permanently straightening mine but it wears off after only a couple weeks

Stacy - Ouch! I never point out my wife's grey hair, but she points out mine. No wonder you got in a fight  I bet if you get it trimmed and evened up there won't be as many complaints.

My wife loved my hair when it was long and was really mad when I cut it short again, I'm really lucky that way.

I don't have the really curly hair, I guess it's more wavy but if it gets wet it will dry pretty curly. I've never really thought about what it would look like all grown out.

Straightening is an option if it doesn't look good but doesn't that fry your hair?

Quote from: Tamaki on January 17, 2011, 10:49:58 AM
Straightening is an option if it doesn't look good but doesn't that fry your hair?

If it's not really curly you don't have to straighten it as much which will fry it less. Then add some heat protection and you won't have to worry about hardly at all. I personally like Redkin Iron Silk 07, I've tried some other but I think this stuff works the best for me. It's kind of hard to find around where I live but if you can find it where you are I highly recommend it



As far as straighteners I think the Chi is a really good one and also really popular. The only thing is it's a little expensive

When I was younger I'd straighten my hair... I'd put gobs of Aqua Net hair spray in it while it was wet and then shake it out when it was dry... It would work pretty well actually

But since starting transition I like my curly locks    But now I have get after the dry fly away and frizzy stuff

Quote from: Tamaki on January 17, 2011, 10:49:58 AM
Stacy - Ouch! I never point out my wife's grey hair, but she points out mine. No wonder you got in a fight  I bet if you get it trimmed and evened up there won't be as many complaints.

My wife loved my hair when it was long and was really mad when I cut it short again, I'm really lucky that way.

I don't have the really curly hair, I guess it's more wavy but if it gets wet it will dry pretty curly. I've never really thought about what it would look like all grown out.

Straightening is an option if it doesn't look good but doesn't that fry your hair?

i straighten mine every night, and i'm told that i have such shiny, beautiful hair. it doesn't fry mine, but i use herbal essences dangerously straight for a shampoo, and then i also have the conditioner. you could also get a heat protectant spray. my favorite is by tresseme'. also, make sure your using a good flat iron, and not a cheap one. cearamic straighteners with heat settings are good ones. if you have fine hair, heat may be more damaging, but just make sure you're taking proper care, and it shouldn't get damaged.

thankyou

I wore a wig for the first few months and then was able to find a few styles that worked well for me =)

Also vitamins (esp prenatal) will help hair and nails grow faster and stronger from what I've found.