Well, all set to go after lunch tomorrow. I will pray to have the strength to leave with dignity and make it to the car before any fall-apart.

Read over the divorce settlement this evening and signed it. Assuming the state of Texas doesn't have a problem with it, the divorce might be final next week.

I am not sure why this particular path has been layed before me. I know it is one that too many of my trans sisters and brothers have had to travel. I am not unique in this. My heart goes out to those that have felt this pain in the past and those that will in the future. It feels awful. I will try to concentrate on the positive, but I am not an optimist by nature.

*Hug*

More hugs

It is an ending but also think of it as a begining

All I've got for you is more hugs *hug*

And more hugs from Judy and I.  God speed and be safe on your trip to start your new life.

The words of a rather famous Pop song seem strangely appropriate here:

QuoteWhen you walk through a storm
Keep your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark.
At the end of the storm
Is a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of a lark.

Walk on through the wind,
Walk on through the rain,
Tho' your dreams be tossed and blown.
Walk on, walk on
With hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone,
You'll never walk alone.

We're all thinking of you Melody.

It's a misnomer to imagine its Trans folk whom are singled out for more sh#t that typical...

I watched my uncle die horribly at a young age from Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma, and my cousin Mel at 33 was working on the 106th floor of TWC 1when the first plane struck back on that fateful day of 9/11

Life is at key points awful, terrifying and dreadful for all of us...

It's a measure of your metal....how you choose to make it through.

Chin up, bite hard....dig deep Melody.... never forget to hold a smile... and start with that first step forwards....then keep walking....

Its all any of us can ever do.

Thanks all. Just woke up to all your messages.

Cruella, I dont think trans people have it especially harder than anyone else. A large measure of my grief is due to leaving my son because of the divorce and we all know divorce isn't special. Would I be getting divorced if I wasn't trans? Probably not.

My father's life the last few years before his death were horrible. Parkinson's, heart attacks and sleep apnea combined to turn a once vibrant man to a senseless shell of his former self. He was half machine at the end with brain implanted deep electrical what-nots and defribillators. He had episodes where he would shake uncontrollably for minutes at a time and it was one of these that finally overtaxed his heart. It was a horrible way to go and a cruel joke for a man that worked hard his entire life to retire to Florida so he could play basketball all year round. I think he got one good year before his health came apart at 56.

His death, while incredibly sad for me and my family, inspired me on this journey. We need to do what we need to do to be happy and do it now. Tomorrow may never come. I think of it as his last gift to me.

Of course, my wife likes to joke that I will get my SRS in 2012 only to have the world end shortly therafter. With my luck, it would happen after months of dilating, but before I got a chance to test out the new equipment! Need to work on that optimism! 

I've been through it twice, it only gets better when the pit in your stomach stops.

More Hugs

It is a painful and rotton day I am sure.
You have the opportunity now to move on and become the woman you are supossed to be.

You have my deepest condolences on the disolution of your marriage.

Hugz and affection,
Cynthia Lee

Quote from: cynthialee on January 16, 2011, 09:53:41 AM
It is a painful and rotton day I am sure.
You have the opportunity now to move on and become the woman you are supossed to be.

You have my deepest condolences on the disolution of your marriage.

Hugz and affection,
Cynthia Lee

Quote from: Helena on January 16, 2011, 03:30:43 AM
More hugs

It is an ending but also think of it as a begining

We would echo the sentiments of Cynia Lee and Helena. We are sorry that this is going to be a long but in the end perhaps liberating day. (optimism coming forward here )

Many many big Hugs
From
Roxy & Patty

*Hugs* Melody. Have courage. We love you!

Me too Melody. It's a new start.

*hugs*

From a song I like:

Every new beginning comes
From some other beginning's end

May your new beginning be the start of something wonderful.  The pain will fade in time, but hopefully the fond memories will give you the strength to push on when times are hard.

*Hugs* too.
I can't even begin to imagine the pain you are feeling....Even though I feel like I'm standing on the edge of the same cliff.
Hang in there....play some fun music during the drive (avoid country for obvious reasons) *grin*
Chin up.

Best wishes to your new start on life!

I have been thru it three times.  There is a song that works for not only divorce, but transition.

If you're goin' through hell keep on going
Don't slow down if you're scared don't show it
You might get out before the devil even knows you're there
When you're goin' through hell keep on movin'
Face that fire walk right through it
You might get out before the devil even knows you're there

Hang in there Sis.  It does get better.

And maybe the tempo will help lift your spirits.

Thank you for the well wishes ladies. I am on the road with my sister. I was able to pretty much hold it together through lunch and the goodbye. Gonna break out the tissues in a second though.

Hi Melody

Just to let you know my thoughts and best wishes are with you as you continue with your new life.  Losing someone like your father in such circumstances is heart wrenching to say the least.  I know, it happened to my grandparents, emphysema (granddad) and dementia (nanny) two people who I loved dearly and nobody deserves that.  Got to stop this is killing me.

As you say, if the world ends in 2012, at least you will die happy with that dilator or man!

Kindest regards
Sarah B