Okay, I am just curious about trangender people's most dysmorphic aspects, physically. For aspects that you did not have at birth, consider it the "I wish I had it" way. If you did have it at birth, consider it the "I wish I had it not" way.

For example, a FTM putting "vulva" in first place would hate his vulva a lot, while a MTF doing the same would long for one.

Notes

-No matter where you are in transition, please answer as if you were still in the very early stages. Tell us how you felt back then, and why not how you feel right now, too.
-I do absolutely not force you to answer to this poll or disclose any information. Please do feel not forced to.
-Please answer while putting every item in order, from the most dysmorphic to the least.
-Please mention your "transgender status" in your message : MTF/FTM transsexual, MTF/FTM other transgender (no offense intended), intersex, non-TG (even though gender dysphoria should be nonexistent, I think. But hey, why not), etc.
-You can either explain with a long text or just post a list. You can also discuss (while not straying too far from the topic, ideally)
-Longing for an "item" (e.g. penis) and hating its contrary (e.g. vulva) do not necessarily go together.
-You may add items.
-You may skip items that you do not judge relevant.

Items (in alphabetical order)
Feel free to modify the list.

Accessories and make-up
Activities
Body hair
Bone size
Breasts
Facial features
Facial hair
Fat distribution
Friendships
Gender-specific clothes
Hand and foot size
Head hair
Height
Hips
Hormone-induced comportments
Love
Mannerisms and moving
Muscular mass
Penis and testes
Rib cage
Shoulders
Skin texture, colour and thickness
Voice
Vulva

Personally, I really need to think about it before I tell you mine, but I promise I will very soon !

EDIT : Agh, there was a section for polls, right ? Sorry :x.

I am an FTM Transsexual.  I have tried to list these things in order of most to least dysphoric, although a few are pretty close.  I also decided to rate the intensity.  I mostly decided based on what I think about most often.

Penis and testes - this is the first thing that led me to understand I was trans... where was my penis? 9/10
Shoulders - I just feel quite shrimpy and not very impressive. 7/10
Muscle Mass - 6/10
Vulva - Looks strange on my body - 6/10
Fat distribution - Hides what muscle I do have. 5/10
Breasts - They are inconvenient and "offensive to the public" aka. I can't take off my shirt 5/10
Facial Features - 4/10
Mannerisms and Moving - Because I have wide hips, this pushes my knees together.  It feels awkward to walk this way. 3/10
Hormone-Induced Comportments - 3/10
Facial Hair - 3/10
Voice - 3/10
Bone Size - 2/10
Rib cage - Slim 2/10
Height - 1/10
Head Hair - This is actually not gender related for me.  I have a triple crown and it can be bothersome! 1/10
Gender Specific Clothes - Was always uncomfortable being out in public in these, but my fashion was always pretty neutral 1/10
Body Hair - Thick in some places, slight in others 1/10
Hand and Foot Size - 1/10
Friendships - Sometimes I will be treated "differently" 1/10
Skin texture, colour and thickness - 1/10
Accessories and make-up - Never wore much 0.5/10
Activities - 0/10
Love - 0/10

I'm curious to see other people's write-ups on this.

I'm an MtF who still has most of the features that I don't want, and few of the ones that I do.  I'm not sure that I can rate individual items on a list.  To me, the body works as a whole unit.  What affects one part of me affects all.

I'm still pre-everything, and vary between feeling like either male or nothing at all. I want top surgery for sure (have for years) but I'm still questioning whether or not T is the right direction for me just yet. At some point I think I'd like to, but I'm only 20 and feel that I should take advantage of the time I have to make sure the decision is the right one. As of now a binder and external androgyny is enough to let me live semi-comfortably at least half the time. I currently have things under control, but I can already smell the ozone... >_>

I'm stealing another posters idea and rating the intensity as well, because I'm horrible at explaining some things and don't feel like ordering them haha.


Accessories and make-up [5/10] I feel the need to specifically use men's deodorant, shampoo, etc. for some reason... it just feels better. That and they smell wonderful x)
Activities [0/10]
Body hair [3/10] The men in my family all have light or no body hair so it's never really been a big craving of mine.
Bone size [2/10] I've never felt the need to be "macho" looking. When I visualize myself as wholly male I still see the same skinny twenty year old I am now, just with a different fat distribution. 
Breasts [10/10] I want them gone. I have always wanted them gone. Biggest source of psychological agony I have. It's to the point where showering is becoming torture if I don't look elsewhere when I need to scrub.
Facial features [6/10] One of the reasons I'd like to get on T at some point would be to help restructure the fat deposits in my face. I know it's still going to look similar but I'm totally fine with looking like a feminine guy. Right now it's just plain feminine and keeps me from passing unless I'm wearing shades. I want my high cheekbones to show!
Facial hair [3/10] I've always kind of wanted sideburns, but I have no all-out need for stubble.
Fat distribution [10/10] I hate that I work and work on a six pack, and I'm at a low weight but can't show off my hard work. My fat distribution has driven me into a full fledged eating disorder in the past, and was mostly aimed at getting rid of my breasts and hips. I'm healthy now, but I could have killed myself if I didn't catch what was really going on.
Friendships [0/10] All of my friends are male. Yes. Every last one. I didn't do it on purpose, I promise haha- I go to a music school and the male/female ratio is 7:1.
Gender-specific clothes [8.5/10] In the last few years I've gotten to where I can't leave my apartment in anything but pants without feeling a panic attack come on. Occasionally I'll have days with less dysphoria and I'll be able to wear boots with a 1/2 inch heel, or some rings/bracelets but that's about as far as I can comfortably venture these days. While some of my clothing is more feminine-ish than other stuff, I could easily name a cis-guy that would wear the same thing. Nothing feels better than having one of my guy friends ask me where I got that jacket! I'm sort of a femme guy if that makes any sense at allx). 
Hand and foot size [2/10] I have huge hands. They're the only part of me I like 100% of the time. My feet are large for a bio-female, but still small for a guy.
Head hair [0/10] Hair is hair. haha
Height [6/10] I'm 5'4" and wear lifts in all of my shoes to make me 1-2 inches taller. I'm very self conscious without them.
Hips [9/10] Kill them. See my response to "fat distribution". My butt is flat and smaller like a bio-male, but it's still wide.
Hormone-induced comportments [2/10]
Love [0/10]
Mannerisms and moving [3/10] I struggled with being slightly pigeon toed for a long time, and I still have to correct myself sometimes when I'm standing and notice my feet pointing inwards.
Muscular mass [3/10] I have thin arms that have always mysteriously missed the typical female fat deposit at the tops (thank god), but I'd like to have slightly more muscle in my upper biceps. My forearms are actually quite nicely built thanks to years of playing music.
Penis and testes [2/10] Eh. I never really wanted a penis. This is the big source of weirdness for me with transitioning- I know I'd never care about getting bottom surgery. It's not so much an aversion, just indifference.
Rib cage [0/10] My ribs are fine.
Shoulders [0/10] I have naturally broad shoulders.
Skin texture, colour and thickness [4/10] I have really pale skin that blushes easily if I'm not wearing some kind of stealth concealer, and I feel like it hides my facial structure by reflecting light and just makes my face look rounder. I need a tan. The texture is also irritatingly soft and makes me feel feminine... so I just try to ignore it and not touch my face or other sensitive bits.
Voice [4/10] It's deep for a bio-female, but not quite the male tenor I'd like.
Vulva [8/10] Kill it kill it kill it kill it.
Ovaries/vagina [9/10] See above.

My struggle is more of a "getting rid of" kind of thing rather than an additive one. I'm not really desiring much, but I can name a hell of a lot I'd like to be done with!

Here I go... Come on, girls, we want to hear you, too.

Rating items is a good idea !

MTF Transsexual

Quote
Accessories and make-up [3/10] I will probably never wear much (anyway, I'm so slow, I could not afford to put on a ton of it too often)
Activities [5/10] Okay, this is weird, but I've always been pretty self-conscious of how masculine or feminine my activities are. There are many things I do not like and I do not know if I do not like them "because" they are boyish. I am pretty easy to influence in that field. I started liking ketchup at some point because Pikachu liked it on TV.
Body hair [8/10] To quote the guys, kill it ! I'm okay with light and normal hair like most girls. You know, stuff you shave off once every 3 days and even if you forget it still does not shows, and hair on the arms so light that you don't actually see it. But now I have THICK hair EVERYWHERE, including places where even most guys are not hairy, i.e. the back and the freaking FINGERS.
Bone size [4/10] I know there's worse than me, but I still hate the fact that I have big arms and legs and will still do even if I lose lots of muscular mass, which I might not.
Breasts [3/10] Maybe I'm special regarding this, but I've always wanted to be a girl more than wanted to be a woman. Basically, I do not feel the breasts lack all that much. I want them because women have breasts and one (especially a transsexual one) needs them to pass, but well, I'm not a breast fan. Maybe I will like them more when I become more "adult" in relationships, which I do not plan will happen until I fully transition. Right now, I feel like a kid. Maybe that's why, because, well, I believe most young girls do not want breasts all that much either. Right now I hope the psychiatrist won't force me to be all social and adult before to even talk about transition. This would destroy me. Just a thought.
Facial features [7/10] Even though even without HRT, by tweaking a little my face could pass, I still hate how my jaw just goes down and down and down, and how my forehead just goes up and forward and forward and how my brow line is just HUGE...
Facial hair [10/10] Don't kill it -- destroy it. I'm serious. This is a pain, is ugly, is definitely manly, is impossible to hide and grows back in just half a day. Do you need more ?
Fat distribution [8/10] I'm tired of having a huge belly even while losing weight. It's just not where fat should go, I feel.
Friendships [6/10] I'm dying for normal relationships. How come I'm unable to do this as a male ? I don't know. I guess that's just what makes transition necessary.
Gender-specific clothes [7/10] ...Depends. I'm not particularly dying for heels, skirts and sleeveless tops, but female clothes, even non-gender-specific, always feel and look better, e.g. sweaters, t-shirts, running shoes, jeans, etc.
Hand and foot size [7/10] Even though mine are small compared to most men, they are still bigger than the average female ones... Women's size 9 shoes are something many here would like, but I cannot help but still find it too big. Sigh.
Head hair [5/10] I'll be pretty angry if you shave my hair short. That's just how I feel my hair should be. And even though I'm just 19 (don't ya say I'm 20 until my birthday !) I'm still looking out (and probably exaggerating) for every sign of male pattern baldness.
Height [6/10] 5 feet 5 inches and a half are totally in the female range, but it's the male average. But I want the female average. Shorter if possible. Guys grow until 25, right ? Should I take just one more half inch, I'll start wearing heavy books on my head. D:
Hips [7/10] Need them. Mine are overdeveloped for a guy, but still far from anything acceptable.
Hormone-induced comportments [7/10] Gotta love feeling like a pervert 100% of the time.
Love [4/10] I don't particularly strive for this, but not striving for love at all is a problem in itself. I don't quite say it to myself yet, but I know I will eventually need something in that field.
Mannerisms and moving [7/10] I wish someone could observe me and show me every masculine move I make. Sometimes I don't even notice. :x
Muscular mass [7/10] Yeah, uh. Kill it. It makes body parts big and heavy, and this is not what I want.
Penis and testes [10/10] Destruction required. Some things can be temporarily forgotten, but this is a hard one.
Rib cage [5/10] Mine is so big my upper arms naturally stick out. This is just pathetic.
Shoulders [4/10] I'm not so bad about this. Mine are way too wide, but I guess they kind of pass.
Skin texture, colour and thickness [5/10] I don't like feeling like I'm wearing some kind of heavy duty leather, but well. I'm not too self-conscious about this because I know it will go back to normal with HRT.
Voice [10/10] I almost do like Dobby in Harry Potter when I hear a male sound come out of me. It just doesn't sound good. At. All. I've been working on my voice for 10 years, and now I feel it's all been for naught.
Vulva [4/10] Well, I kind of do want it because this is how I should pee and all, but I would prefer just having an uretra hole and nothing else than have a penis. This is important because it goes with passing and penis removal, but the lack of a vagina is not particularly distressful. Not as much as the other presence, anyway.
Ovaries/vagina [5/10] I would love to produce my own hormones and everything, and you know, be a "full-fledged" woman, but I do not think I would have a child even with this. I just don't feel my genes are something that should be transmitted.

Reading our posts, I notice that a tendency seems to appear that we want stuff gone more than we want new stuff to come in, in general. Or maybe it's just the guys, and I think like them.

Penis and testes 10/10 I want this right meow
Voice 8/10 - really want it to change, but if it doesn't it's not the end of the world
Muscular mass 8/10 same as above
Hormone-induced comportments 8/10 well hormones should take care of lots of these shouldn't they?
Fat distribution 8/10. hate my fat distribution, however losing some weight might help that too
Hips 6/10 - not supposed to be there but meh
Height 6/10 - wouldn't mind being an inch or two taller
Shoulders - 5/10 wouldn't mind being an inch or two wider
Facial hair - 4/10 not to thrilled on the idea of shaving everyday, but I also like the idea of the 1 day old stubble look
Hand and foot size 3/10 - feet are already around size 11 mens, hands are a tad small
Bone size -2/10  I have a small frame, despite my size.. but that's okay. It puts on muscle well enough to mask my teeny tiny little bones
Rib cage - 2/10 already large.. so meh
Facial features 2/10 - hey I like my face already.. doesn't need to change, but when it does.. that's okay too I supose
Body hair 2/10 - I wouldn't mind a little bit more (happy trail) but otherwise I'm good
Friendships 2/10 - Feel like I already got lots of awesome friendships going
Love 2/10 - Already got lots of loving going on
Skin texture, colour and thickness - 0/10? - Not too picky here
Gender-specific clothes - 0/10 - already have all I need.. though if you want to buy me more
Activities 0/10 - already got that going down
Mannerisms and moving - 0/10 happy with what I already have
Head hair 0/10 - already is masculine
Vulva 0/10 - f****** hate this thing, I can't have sex properly with it. DX Though on a day to day basis it doesn't cause me dysphoria.. it's just there
Accessories and make-up 0/10 I can't tell you how much I hate this stuff. Like.. it should all be blown up
Breasts - -10/10 yeah that's right, these get a negative 10. I hate that they are there, I hate having to bind, I just hate hate hate. Not always causing me dysphoria.. most of the time I can just ignore them, but when something does come up, I am not a happy camper.

I doubt I'm the only one that probably feels this way, but from my MtF perspective the dysphoria is dynamic, that which I might tolerate one day might be the object of my hatred the next day.

Quote from: regan on January 17, 2011, 09:42:40 AM
I doubt I'm the only one that probably feels this way, but from my MtF perspective the dysphoria is dynamic, that which I might tolerate one day might be the object of my hatred the next day.

That's the other reason I can't rate items on a list.

I am MTF. 

Accessories and make-up [7/10] - This is something I felt I could never be able to do as a guy without it being awkward or weird. I love accessories and I think it adds a really personal touch to things. Make-up is amazing, I just wish I knew how to apply it better.

Activities [3/10] I don't worry a whole lot if an activity is for girls or not because I think girls can do everything guys can and vice versa. I dislike sports greatly  and I would feel weird playing them but that doesn't mean if I liked them I would feel like any less of a woman.

Body hair [10/10] I absolutely despise it for all I'm worth. I can't stand hair on my legs, arms, underarms, or *argh!* chest. It's just so annoying! The only place I want hair is on my head and no facial hair.

Bone size [8/10] This gets on my nerves a lot... I'm sort of tall and medium boned, I feel like I was jipped out of having small bones and there's nothing I can do about it. My feet are like a size 12 and that annoys me big time, especially since I love shoes and most of the ladies shoes don't go as high as I need them.

Breasts [5/10] I just want to look like a girl, if I have small breasts then that's totally okay by me. I do want some breasts though but they don't have to be big or even medium sized, whatever I get will be fine . In fact I think smaller breasts are a nicer feature and much less hassle from what I've heard from various people...

Facial features [7/10] I think I have a fairly feminine face but I don't like my brow ridge line, my jaw, or my hairline. I'm not too concerned in the long run though because I can get FFS if I decide to but it bothers me for the time being.

Facial hair [10/10] Hate the dreadful facial hair! Not only do I have thick black hair but even when I shave I still have the shadow. I could grow a decent beard in a week, that's how annoying fast it grows. Also I have a really sensitive neck so every single time I shave I get razor burn. Honestly I would get rid of this with laser/electrolysis even if I didn't decide to transition.

Fat distribution [1/10] Right now I'm actually fairly happy with it except I would like to have a lot more in the hip area and cheeks but I expect that to change with HRT.

Friendships [5/10] I'm really kind of undecided on this. I'm quite a loner and I don't think that would change with HRT. I wouldn't mind having a few more really close friends but just one or two. I'm very picky about who I'm loyal too but once I decide to be loyal to a good friend then I would take a bullet for them in a heartbeat.

Gender-specific clothes [9/10] I'm a big fashion person, I love hair and clothing fashions so I love wearing girly clothes and shopping for them. It's a pretty important thing to me, I even thought about being a fashion designer then a hair stylist for a while haha

Hand and foot size [8/10] Both of these bother me, even more so that they're unchangeable. If they ever come up with a way to shrink your feet or hands I would want to be on that train.

Head hair [8/10] It bothers me that my hair is curly and won't grow right, but when it works I love it. It's long and brown, in fact I think it looks just like my avatar picture.

Height [4/10] It's not so bad being tall. I'm 6'1" and it is a little tall for a girl but hey the super models are tall too right?

Hips [9/10] I would LOVE hips. Sometimes it's hard to wear girls pants because they don't fit guy hips very well. I can't wait to see what HRT does.

Love [7/10] I know there's someone special out there for me and I think we'll find each other someday. I don't think it has very much to do with my transition though because if we truly love each other gender shouldn't even matter. I'm kind of an idealist sometimes about relationships.

Mannerisms and moving [8/10] This is something I need to work on a little, although some people say I already move "like a gay guy" (according to one of my ex-friends). I like using hand motions and walking with a swing in my hips but sometimes I feel like it's weird because I don't pass yet.

Rib cage [7/10] My rib cage doesn't bother me too often but when things start rolling I plan on doing corset training.

Shoulders [10/10] I have kind of broad shoulders and it bothers me a lot. I wish I had narrow shoulders like a GG

Skin texture, colour and thickness [8/10] I really, really want smooth and soft skin. I use lotion a lot but it still feels too rough. I'm not too sure about colour, that isn't really on my mind very much.

Voice [8/10] My voice needs work and I really think I can make it happen I just need to put my mind to it. I'm sort of waiting to be on HRT first though. A really feminine voice is something I really desire

Vag [5/10] As far as the nethers go I think it's really complicated. I want a vagina much more than a penis but at the same time it's something that isn't on my mind very much. I expect if I were in a relationship with a guy things might be different but this early in transition I'll just be happy to start HRT. Somewhere down the line I may or may not get SRS, I'm undecided. On one hand I feel like it would make me complete, but on the other hand I don't want to do it just because that's how society defines genders.

I hope I did this right!

Linking to regan and VG, the only one I can really identify with, as dysmorphia is penis and testicles.

The rest is variable for me.

My ugly bit has done and continues to do, it's worst. The rest is secondary.

I'm ftm (though I suppose it's possible that I'm fta).  I wasn't really sure how to rate these.  But most dysphoric would be the chest and downstairs.  Height and voice after that.

Accessories and make-up:  I've always hated wearing make-up.  I love earrings, and when I have money, I want to buy some earrings made specifically for men.  I don't wear them often, but sometimes I get in the mood to wear some.  I like making them too.  Belts I don't wear but I do have one in case of formal occasions (not likely).  I have a couple of ties, but not much chance to wear them.  I don't like wearing rings or things around my wrist.  I do wear a hat pretty often.

Activities:  I have some really girly hobbies, like beading, sewing, scrapbooking, fashion design and pretty much anything crafty.  I also collect My Little Ponies and a few dolls.  I do collect legos too and like to swim and rollerskate/rollerblade, but those are pretty gender neutral.  I'm a total computer geek, always been interested in programming and rebuilt a computer one time.  I'm interested in camping and canoeing and wilderness survival.  And weightlifting.  And sword-fighting.  I'd love to get back into SCA-type stuff.  (I guess that's my manliest interests).

Body hair:  I hate body hair.  And I'm already really hairy for a female so I'll probably end up with lots of it.

Bone size:  I have really large, thick bones.  I haven't always been happy about it.  But now I'm kind of glad about it.

Breasts:  UGH!!!!!!  GET RID OF 'EM!  That's how I feel.  So dysphoric about these.

Facial features:  My features are already pretty manly-looking.  I don't like my nose, I'd get that changed if I could.  My eyebrows, unfortunately, won't grow back after plucking for so many years.

Facial hair:  Do not want.  I'd like sideburns but I really don't want facial hair.  And I'm sure I'll get it because some is already there.

Fat distribution:  I'm overweight, so I got fat everywhere.  I'd like for it to distribute right off of me.  No matter how hard I work out and how much I watch what I eat, I still can't lose it.

Friendships:  Love my friends.  I do wish I had more real-life friends to hang out with.

Gender-specific clothes:  This one's a bit problematic for me.  I find most men's clothes really boring.  On the positive side, they are more comfortable and I feel lots more comfortable wearing them.  There's some women's clothes that I really like too, though.

Hand and foot size:  Feet are really big, women's size 10 and they're wide too.  Most women's shoes don't fit me.  My hands...ugh, they're so tiny and dainty-looking.  How did I end up with huge feet and tiny little hands?!

Head hair:  Love my hair, it's really my only redeeming physical feature.  Once I'm on T, I want to let it grow back out.  And I'm really paranoid about going bald.

Height:  UGH.  I hate being short.  I'm average height for a woman, but even a lot of women are taller than me.

Hips:  They're pretty wide.  I want them gone.

Hormone-induced comportments:  Not sure I understand this one.

Love:  Definitely wish I had a love interest.

Mannerisms and moving:  I have some female mannerisms, mainly in the way I talk.  I'd like to get rid of those.  I walk like a dude, though, happy about that.

Muscular mass:  Pretty muscular for a woman, but I want MORE MUSCLES!!!

Penis and testes:  May seem a bit odd, but I don't want testes or a really really big penis.  I do want a penis though, I don't care if it's small; I want something I can have sex with and pee out of.  If I got bottom surgery (though I doubt I will) I'd go for a meta with the urethal hook-up.

Rib cage:  Not an issue.

Shoulders:  I have really really broad shoulders. 

Skin texture, colour and thickness:  I have pretty rough skin already.  It's really sensitive though, I hate that.

Voice:  Hate my voice.  Would love for it to be deeper.

Vulva:  Yuck.  I want it gone.  Gone, gone, gone!

Facial hair 8/10: This is somthing that upsets me the most I've lost count of how many hours of electro I've endured It's painful and so expensive and after I fight so hard and endure another 2 hour session at maximum current I get the treat of what a clear region for a week before it laughs and regenerates again I've cleared my upper lip 6 times already it still comes back weaker and slower admittedly but still. I've always had so much compaired to all other males I know I always hated it to the point of tearing it off me it's just a sick cosmic joke.

Testis 8/10
Another big issue my hatred at them remains massive. They are soley responcible for this nightmare I've abused the hell out of them already throughout my life and accordingly they abuse me... Now with hormone blockers they're caged and in a coma but it's the fact that I'm NOT ALLOWED to finish them off them off because of the paterarchal medical establishment loves them so dearly it's like having to live with a dog that's savaged you. Why is the life of my testicals so damn precious anyway? Jeeze put them on oprah so the audiance can cry there sorry eyes out for the hard life they've had glued to an abusive MTF, but by all means ignore what they've done to me... I'm just an evil crazy ->-bleeped-<- who dosen't know what's good for *him*. ¬.¬

Voice 5/10
I'v trained my voice myself so that it sounds very female actually I'm read as female all the time based on my voice alone. but I feel it every day the fact my larynx is still irriversibly damaged and I can speak in my male voice and it's so much easier to speak like a man still dispite having used my female voice for 9 months 24/7 I have to avoid dairy products all the time and carry a bottle of water around with me because it gets disgusting and slimey or dry and horse I consider it a painful disgusting injury that I'm deeply ashamed to admit to having to anyone. and it's a wound that I know won't ever heal.

Facial features 4/10
These do bug me it's because of my androgynous facial features I can pass as a male day to day if I try and I'm forever paranoid about that fact part of me is divided on wheather I should plan for it in the future or not.

Hips 4/10
Alittle bit It's more that when I look in the mirror I know my hips are going to remain this narrow probably forever and it's somthing I missed by just a few years (3-4 would have been enough) is why it's highish on the dysphoria list because its one of those "If you were just abit Faster/Smarter/Braver/Stronger" you could have had them but you wern't.

Body hair 3/10
Its the fact it's on my chest and belly still even if it's thin. ugh ¬.¬

Penis 3/10
unlike my testis this only bugs me alittle it's upsetting somtimes when I can't just wear a pair of leggings/swimsuit because it'd bulge and I can't use it for anything in sex or chase a relationship with another person it's failure as a part jumps the dysphoria to a 10 if I try any of them.

Head hair 1/10
My hair is okay but I am missing abit from my temples its the male V's it's just annoying

Height 1/10
I'm a good height 5'7 but it's the fact I tower over my short friends and am still on the tall side for a girl.

I'm living full time now so the others don't really bug me... Others not listed don't bother me.

ok, so I am supposed to do this, pretending i am still pre T, and remembering how I used to feel correct? 10 being the worst 1 being not bad at all?


Accessories and make-up- 1/10 this never bothered me, i just used men's stuff, I didn't have to battle parents to do it either
Activities- 2/10 sometimes I feel weird that i don't have traditional male interests
Body hair- 9/10 used to be/ still kinda am almost hairless, it really really bothers me
Bone size- 5/10 bothers me that my pelvis will always be larger then a cis male
Breasts- 10/10 gross, they keep me from being sexy, they get in the way, i have to bind to go out, just gross
Facial features-7/10 didn't really like my face pre T
Facial hair-7/10 lack of, bothers me
Fat distribution- 9/10 really hated my hip fat
Hand and foot size-1/10 doesn't really bother me too much
Head hair- 1/10 doesnt bother me
Height- 3/10 only bothers me when im around taller guys, or girls for that matter
Hips-9/10 grossssss
Mannerisms and moving 1/10 I have male mannerisims
Muscular mass- 4/10 id like more muscle, but my lack of doesnt bother me too much
Penis and testes- 10/10 dont care for balls that much, but lack of a penis bothers me a lot, expecially because I am a top, so when having sex, i feel like i am really missing out, i want to be able to feel what im supposed to feel but I cant.
Rib cage- 1/10 could be bigger, but not a big deal
Shoulders- 7/10 really bugged me pre T, still bugs me a little
Skin texture, colour and thickness- 5/10 I was really soft pre T, didnt like it
Voice - 10/10 didnt even like to hear my own voice pre T
Vulva- 10/10 i remember feeling suicidal after catching a glimpse of it one time, i find it repulsive on myself

(adding these....)
vagina- 3/10 sometimes it bothers me, but for the most part, its just a bonus hole
fallopian tubes/uterus/ etc- 10/10 really freaks me out that I had periods, and have that gross stuff inside me, stuff that allows me to be pregnant

I've seen this type of thread on more than one TG forum. So here is my own "I'm Curious" Poll:

Do you feel better about yourself/less dysmorphic or worse/more dysmorphic when you hear/read what other people feel dysmoprhic about?

Do you feel better about yourself/less dysmorphic or worse/more dysmorphic when you participate in this type of poll?

I imagine that for some people, having a space to list off and rattle off everything they feel dysmorphic about helps them or reading that other people may feel the same way too is useful.

I imagine that for some people, being prompted about where they might/should feel dysmorphic and focusing on other people's dysmorphia is actually a negative experience. As in: well, I hadn't been thinking about it, now that I am, yeah, I don't like that.

Personally, I gain nothing from listing my areas of dymorphia (or lack thereof) to satisfy someone else's curiosity. I prefer to focus on the parts of my body - in looks or performance - that I do like. I don't enjoy participating in the negativity, even though I recognize that many of these negative feelings are valid and real. I am curious if people reply because, hey, why not, or if they are attuned to whether this type of sharing is on the whole positive or negative for them.

This is kinda hard to answer A... Like others so much of this is variable, but there are certain things that will always be a zero or a 10 for me, so I'm going to give this poll a chance.

Me: Female identified, androgynous, queer... Maaaaaybe considered MtF (but I am not too fond of that term)  4 1/2 months HRT as of now.

Accesories and makeup -  0/10  I wear what I like  =/
Activities -  Too variable to answer... location, other people involved, etc.  If I'm alone or with people that know me however this gets a 0/10 as well.
Body Hair -  9/10  Too dense still, and growing in the wrong places, however this would have been a 10 last year. It's getting better
Bone Size -  5/10
Breasts -  9/10  They aren't the right shape yet...  This I assume would also improve though, so again... Variable
Facial Features - Too variable again.  I can say though that my chin gets a 10/10
Facial Hair -  8/10 would have been a 10 before hair removal was started and it will eventually be a 0/10 anyways...
Fat Distribution -  5/10  not perfect, but I don't NEED to be super curvy.
Hand and Foot Size -  10/10
Head Hair -  8/10  for its general thinness
Height -  Whatever... 0/10
Hips - 10/10
Mannerisms and Moving -  0/10  umm, I move like me... *why* would that be a bad thing?  =/
Muscular Mass -  5/10 Estrogen has taken this down quickly.
Penis and Testes -  Too variable... Depends on the situation basically. 10/10 if I think about it 0/10 if I don't.
Rib Cage -  10/10 
Shoulders - 10/10
Skin Texture - 5/10 variable as HRT has changed it a bit.
Voice - 2/10  varies according my comfort level in situations... My voice is fine for the most part though.
Vulva - Umm, variable. I don't have one, but seeing one doesn't REALLY freak me out or anything.  Not having one in sexual encounters = 10/10.  Not having one when I'm sitting on the couch = 0/10

Well sorry it's mostly 0's and 10's but that just how I feel. Either something is or isn't a problem, or like a LOT of this stuff varies a great deal.  And of course these numbers should be different after more time on HRT I can only assume.

Quote from: Sean on January 17, 2011, 03:35:03 PM
I've seen this type of thread on more than one TG forum. So here is my own "I'm Curious" Poll:

Do you feel better about yourself/less dysmorphic or worse/more dysmorphic when you hear/read what other people feel dysmoprhic about?

Do you feel better about yourself/less dysmorphic or worse/more dysmorphic when you participate in this type of poll?

I imagine that for some people, having a space to list off and rattle off everything they feel dysmorphic about helps them or reading that other people may feel the same way too is useful.

I imagine that for some people, being prompted about where they might/should feel dysmorphic and focusing on other people's dysmorphia is actually a negative experience. As in: well, I hadn't been thinking about it, now that I am, yeah, I don't like that.

Personally, I gain nothing from listing my areas of dymorphia (or lack thereof) to satisfy someone else's curiosity. I prefer to focus on the parts of my body - in looks or performance - that I do like. I don't enjoy participating in the negativity, even though I recognize that many of these negative feelings are valid and real. I am curious if people reply because, hey, why not, or if they are attuned to whether this type of sharing is on the whole positive or negative for them.

I like this comment!  ^_^ 

It's not positive or negative for me, it's just feeling like answering a curious persons questions, and being kinda bored right now...  I thought that by doing this it'd make me think a little, but eh... During answering the poll I kinda felt like, "Im so sick of thinking about this stuff!"  Like what else is there to think about it?  Really?  I am 28 years old, I've been thinking about things like this for 20 years already...

To answer you question, I did the poll because I just wanted to be helpful if I could  =/  I do not feel any more or less dysmorphic or any better/worse about myself in any way really besides being able to be helpful.

Pre-Hormone, MTF.

Penis and testes + Vulva: 10/10 : I have a very severe displeasure for having a penis and testis. While being able to pee standing up can be handy, at times, the hate for them being there outweighs the benefit. I've always wanted a vulva instead. I hate knowing that I can't wear a bikini or anything that would show that I have a different bottom part. I also find it rather gross at times, it's like the most obnoxious part of my body. And I absolutely despise erections. Until I can get surgery (if I can), this area will haunt me for a long time and continue its torture.

Friendships + Love + : 9/10 : I've never really had any (""real life"") friends, or relationships (of any form). I tended to stick in my room, online, being myself online. Online I make tons of friends, a few staying friends for numerous years. I really want something in real life, however. But I hate being with the guys (most are sick perverts / jerks around here) and get really bad dysphoria break downs and quite a bit of anxiety. Haven't had a relationship of any form in terms of 'love'; which also bothers me considerably. I've missed out on so many parties, and other events that would have been a blast, that it hurts.

Head hair: 9/10 : I have some hair-loss and a very, very, obvious 'M' hair pattern. This bothers me considerably because it makes most female hairstyles I crave, impossible.

Activities: 8/10 : I absolutely despise most male focused sports. Where I'm at you either do the guy sports as a guy or live a very pathetic existence. If you remotely touch something that can be for both or is stereotypically female's you get well, bad things. For example, I love gymnastics, figure skating, swimming. However, guys here must play hockey, football, or baseball. Anything else. Well, you're shunned. Similar things go for other activities. More often than not, even if a sport is for either gender, I would still hate doing it as a male and crave to be doing what the girls are; such was the case when I was in gymnastics.


Body hair: 7/10 : I find body hair very annoying, and it makes my legs and arms like a forest. Shaving is also a big no-no for men here, so I shave everywhere but my arms so that no one knows. As a result, I can't wear anything that shows my (nice) legs.

Facial hair: 7/10 : I don't have much facial hair but it still bothers me quite a bit. Even knowing I can get it removed (which will be expensive for me), I really dislike it. When I was told I needed to start shaving - it was a very horrible day. I remember most guys being "Woot I have to shave!  " and I was like " argh,    x 100".

Voice: 7/10 : Changing my voice is going to be hard. It isn't super deep, but is deeper than most female voices of course. I also tend to speak really softly because I dislike that my voice is a guy's voice. Furthermore, I'm always having to clear my throat, or cough, or have my speech end and need to swallow mid sentence; all of which will cause problems as I try to change it. These could be from speaking so softly, though.

Accessories and make-up: 6/10  : I really dislike not being able to do much of anything without being weird. While I don't want to be absolutely forced to have makeup / accessories all the time, having more freedom would be amazing.

Breasts: 6/10 : I've never had them so it's hard to say. I do, of course, want them so that I can be seen as any other girl. They actually might be a bit of a nuisance at times, but I do desire to have them regardless.

Gender-specific clothes: 6/10: I envy that girls can wear skirts (only some though, I'm picky regarding them), dresses, and can wear bikinis (and similar). I don't have much problems with male specific clothing as it's so simple. But I do get tired of what I'm supposed to wear. Right now I only ever wear a T-shirt + Jeans + Hoodie, all year round. Never anything else. When I can transition this will change drastically, but right now I feel very restricted.


Mannerisms and moving: 6/10 : I'm always keeping myself from possibly looking like a girl so I fidget and move around quite a bit. I dislike the male mannerisms that I have, and dislike knowing how hard it will be to change them. Guys frown too much :/

Facial features: 5/10 : Again it's hard to say. My fear is that my face wont look good after hormones, but my facial shape is similar to my aunts. I don't have very strong masculine facial features; which is great.

Adam's Apple: 5/10 : It isn't that noticeable. If I'm looking straight ahead you can see it a bit, look down you can't, look straight up you can't. I still fear it may be a give away when I transition, and hate that it's another thing I have different that other girls, but it isn't absolutely major.

Bone size + Hand and foot size + Hips + Shoulders + Rib cage + Height: 4/10 : Most of my body is identical to my sisters other than my hips and shoulders. Those two places I wish could be more feminine, but it shouldn't be too much of an issue. It does concern me now and then, however.

Fat distribution + Hormone-induced comportments + Muscular mass: 3/10 : This I know will change once I get on hormones so I don't get bothered too much. Right now I look like any other guy which is bad for me, but good for being 'normal'.

Skin texture, colour and thickness : 3/10 : This will also change when I'm on hormones (I'm sure) so I don't get bothered too much. My skin isn't that horrible and could be far worse.

Sean : Sorry if I offended you in some way. I do not want to offend anyone, so I was very careful when writing the topic.

But you know, this "poll" is not quite "useful". It's just that I felt pretty depressed, and felt very weird, and as I have, like, zero social skills and relationships, I wanted to know just how weird I was. I know I'm not supposed to worry about this, but I still do. Maybe it's illogical, but when I'm depressed, I tend to find comfort in seeing that I'm not alone in XYZ thing.

Also, this thread can help me understand other transgender people better, which is a big plus considering how mean I can be sometimes. I want to understand people so I do not hurt them.

Quote from: A on January 17, 2011, 06:08:29 PM
Sean : Sorry if I offended you in some way. I do not want to offend anyone, so I was very careful when writing the topic.

But you know, this "poll" is not quite "useful". It's just that I felt pretty depressed, and felt very weird, and as I have, like, zero social skills and relationships, I wanted to know just how weird I was. I know I'm not supposed to worry about this, but I still do. Maybe it's illogical, but when I'm depressed, I tend to find comfort in seeing that I'm not alone in XYZ thing.

Also, this thread can help me understand other transgender people better, which is a big plus considering how mean I can be sometimes. I want to understand people so I do not hurt them.

No worries. I'm not offended or anything. Like I said, I think some people find this helps them. I can understand how you - or anyone else - may feel less alone seeing who feels similar to you.

For me, it's the opposite. I don't feel better talking about certain kinds of depressing things, and seeing how other people who are depressed or feel badly just makes me feel sad for them. We're all different in these things.

Reproductive system - 10/10 (ahh...the one thing i want the most and can never have <3)
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Accessories and make-up - 1/10 (i love makeup...in fact thats the best part about being me...i can spend all day with the stuff)
Activities - 1/10 (typical girl stuff, although i do hunt...which is stereotypically more masculine thing to do)
Body hair - 3/10 (just my arm hair sometimes, i dont have a lot of body hair (thank you asian mom)
Bone size - 1/10 (no comment)
Breasts - 2/10 (B/C cup, got lucky started young)
Facial features - 2/10 (my jaw sometimes bother me...but not a big deal)
Facial hair - 2/10 (got laser on upper lip...once again no real body hair)
Fat distribution - 2/10 (less on my arms would be nice)
Friendships - 9/10 (all my friends are guys, wish i had more gfs)
Gender-specific clothes - 1/10 (love it)
Hand and foot size - 8/10 (i am a size 9 feet =[ and big hands..ew)
Head hair - 5/10 (i've been dealing with eating disorders since college, sometimes ill lose my hair because of it so i gotta overcome it)
Height - 1/10 (i'm 5'9...most girls are this height)
Hips- 1/10 ( i got lucky, had a womanly body since birth)
Hormone-induced comportments- 7/10 (HRT makes me extremely sensitive and easily agitated.)
Love - 1/10 (...just keep dating until you find the right one)
Muscular mass - 1/10 (none.)
Penis and testes - 1/10 (gone)
Rib cage - 1/10
Shoulders - 1/10
Skin texture, colour and thickness - 7/10 (still have scars on face from childhood acne...not bad but enough to make me feel insecure without some concealer on when going out. )
Voice - 1/10 (ultra femme)