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I found out why my parents are hesitant to let me see a gender therapist...

Started by Alex201, February 02, 2011, 08:53:14 PM

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Alex201

Apparently they think all gender therapists have an agenda to sway their clients to transition. How ridiculous is that? Lol! I had to laugh as I try and educate them further.
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Espenoah

I hope your teachings are working...It sounds like they might be slowly coming around. Good luck!
"If a bullet should enter my brain, let that bullet destroy every closet door." -Harvey Milk
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Bahzi

Ha, right.  Because there's such kickbacks on HRT and SRS.  ::)  Besides, most people who transition stop going to therapy after transition, so there goes their fees.  Psychiatrists sometimes have agendas to prescribe meds they get payouts on from pharmaceutical companies, gender therapists encourage transition because it's the only treatment that's been shown to alleviate dysphoria, 'reparative therapy' just causes more psychological problems by encouraging a person to repress their feelings further.
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Sean

My parents believe the same thing.

They think that gender therapists and any expert affiliated with WPATH or who believes in WPATH has a political agenda, and the goal is to help more people transition, as if they are 'recruiting' people.

They only wanted me to see a therapist who would NOT be an expert in GID or have any connection to anyone who has any experience treating GID.

I doubt it's that unusual among people who are religious and suspicious of the liberal or secular agendas of those who 'support' transsexuals.
In Soviet Russa, Zero Divides by You!
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Samson99

That's silly. Most gender therapists from what I've heard do their best not to sway you in either direction. They don't want to influence your transition either way. It could get ugly if you end up choosing to fully transition or to stop altogether if you realize later you made the wrong choice.
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wheat thins are delicious

My mom was mad that my therapist gave me a letter for T because she assumed going to a therapist for my gender issues was going to constitute the therapist "talking me out of" being trans.


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xAndrewx

I'm sorry Andy, my grandma thought the same thing. I told her about therapy and her response was something like "Do you think that therapist will tell you your wrong and fix it for you?" sounding all hopeful. I almost felt sorry telling her no because she sounded so hopeful.

Alex- Glad to hear they are still letting you explain it to them. I hope it really does turn out that they just didn't understand and they let you see a specialist.

Sly

Have you explained to your parents that being trans is something you either are or are not, that's ingrained into you from the time that you're born?  No therapist is going to make you trans... and if you're trans, no therapist can 'fix' you.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this dude.  It isn't fair.

NightWing

Keep trying to educate them, Alex.  Even if it doesn't work out and they still don't understand in the end, you at least tried, and you'll have no regrets.  I'm pretty sure I've said this before, but I'm proud that you're finally doing something and trying to change things.  Keep it up, man.  You know we're all behind you. 
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cynthialee

My therapist while quik to aprove me for transitional medical services was very oppossed to doing the same thing for Sevan.

She definatly has not pushed anyone in this home into transition and has been damn sure to make sure not to screw it up.
So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you can win a hundred battles without a single loss.
If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you may win or may lose.
If you know neither yourself nor your enemy, you will always endanger yourself.
Sun Tsu 'The art of War'
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Janet_Girl

Oh Yes my therapist was out to recruit new trans people.  ::) ??? :o

Actually therapist only help you determine what is best for you.  And mine could be accused of recruiting because he is one of us,  He is FtM, thought he is done with transition.  So he has an inside track.
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jmaxley

Quote from: Sean on February 02, 2011, 09:14:45 PM
They think that gender therapists and any expert affiliated with WPATH or who believes in WPATH has a political agenda, and the goal is to help more people transition, as if they are 'recruiting' people.

Of course we're recruiting!  How else are we going to find people so we can build our transsexual army and take over the world?!

Quote from: Andy8715 on February 02, 2011, 10:24:16 PM
My mom was mad that my therapist gave me a letter for T because she assumed going to a therapist for my gender issues was going to constitute the therapist "talking me out of" being trans.
Mine too.  She just KNEW the therapist was going to try talking me out of it.  Boy, was she shocked to find out different.
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Wraith

My father is kind of odd. He doesn't really want to listen to what I have to say or how I feel, his attitude is something like: "yeah go see that gender psychologist and we'll see if this is real"... He won't believe it until I "have it on paper". (maybe he's feeling all confident that I'll never get that "paper")

My mother is the other way around, she trusts that I know what I'm talking about and doesn't care about some diagnose.
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ClaireA

Quote from: jmaxley on February 03, 2011, 12:31:11 AM
Of course we're recruiting!  How else are we going to find people so we can build our transsexual army and take over the world?!
Mine too.  She just KNEW the therapist was going to try talking me out of it.  Boy, was she shocked to find out different.
Yep - my parents sent me to a "Christian" therapist when I was 16 with the sole purpose of "fixing" me. Unfortunately, that's exactly the agenda that the therapist tried to push and I said hell no I'm outta here. Damn, if I had just gone to a therapist that knew ANYTHING about GID, I could have come to grips with myself five freakin years ago and not suffered all this pain. And I could have been on prescribed HRT at a much better age and not risked my life with stupid self-medicating.

Why do parents believe that GID can be "fixed"?! Arrgh!!
21 22 and loving life! (yuk. i hate getting old!)


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Sean

I think it's part of how parents come to cope and deal with things. They don't want it to be true, they want to believe it can be fixed.

For those who are independent and living elsewhere, I think it makes sense to try to placate reasonable requests, but not to jump through every hoop that family asks for. My mother thought she could negotiate with me how long I would wait to transition, because I was "rushing" and it was "too soon." While I do think it takes time for family members to adjust (if they even do), there is no way my mother was going to be ok with my transition just because I waited some magical amount of time.

Besides not wanting me to work with a gender therapist, my family got the name and number of a psychiatrist from a friend that they know very little about. Just recommended for helping friends with a son with other mental health issues. I spoke to the psychiatrist on the phone and within 10 minutes he figured out that my parents need support, not me, and he woudl have sent me/referred me back to some of the same health network (includng my endo!) anyway.

Of course, jumping through that hoop did not make everything ok. Because the problem wasn't that I was seeing the wrong doctors. It was that I was telling them the wrong thing! Basically, my parents expected me to go to a therapist or psychiatrist and NOT tell them that I identify as male and see if they can find something else wrong with me.

They just don't understand gender identity nor do they even understand what therapists or psychiatrists do or how mental health issues are dealt with. When you are dealing with family from a traditional and conservative background like that, there isn't a whole lot you can do. They can choose to learn more and take a science based approach, or they can fight it - either using faith to suggest that GID doesn't even exist or by digging their heals in about how well they believe they know who you are to say that "yes, there ARE some trans people, but you're not one of them, so whenever you tell people you are, there is something else very wrong with you."
In Soviet Russa, Zero Divides by You!
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spacial

Sean seems to have some pretty good points Alex.

But one tactic springs to mind which you might think of applying when the tie is right.

They are sending you to a religious based therapist, or something like that. As them to compromise. You won't insist upon a gender therapist of they will send you to a properly accreditied and trained one.
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VeryGnawty

Quote from: jmaxley on February 03, 2011, 12:31:11 AM
Of course we're recruiting!  How else are we going to find people so we can build our transsexual army and take over the world?!

Exactly!  I've been using occult magick and arcane sigils to curse EVERYBODY with dysphoria.  Now, they will all know how it feels!

OK, so I haven't actually been doing that.  But sometimes I want to, when I read stories about how judgmental some people's parents can be.
"The cake is a lie."
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Catherine

To help your parents understand this in a better manner you could maybe explain the following to them.

The following is possibly not true for all of us or maybe only some of us.

There has been research done in Australia that shows that trans people are born with the wrong brain for their body. This has been done post mortem.

When people ask me about being trans I tell them the above and add

In my case I need to fix the problem. So I have two options change the brain or change the body.... and you cant change the brain...

IT may give them some understanding of your problems. Of course you may not be in this category or people... and going to a therapist will help you sort it out in your head.
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