I'll try to keep this short as possible. And just dive right into it.
Today (2/4/11) marks the 44th day that I've been on my period without stopping. Before this I had an 18 day one in Oct/Nov and a 15 in Sept/Oct.
I started T in March.
The nurse whom gave me T? She said I shouldn't have ANY period. And urged me to go get an ultrasound and whatnot.
So I went to the Oakland Highland hospital, waited 10 hours in the ER (and was up for over 24 hours by then... missing my Japanese class) to be told they couldn't see any cysts, nor external bleeding, and went to just blame the nurse that she doesn't know wtf she's doing, even though they didn't understand much about transgender and T-treatments to begin with.
This is really pushing me to start feeling worse and worse about myself and I've been having more and more sucidial or at least, harmful thoughts, and even to the point where I feel like I should just try to rip out my own uterus and ovaries... these are just feels, but they are they noneless and are not plans. But still. The fact I'm entertaining those thoughts in my head worries me, and just lets me know just how bad this is making me feel.
Through all this I devoloped High Blood Pressure as well... and my anemia and insomnia are both back. I'm feeling anexity again on a high level and just... going completely crazy.
I've wanted a hysto before this, and oh boy I want it so much more now.
If anyone knows where I can get any sort of TG type help... and I really don't have much money at all (I'm barely making rent... much less being able to do much else), I would appreciate it.
I live in Fremont, California... in the Alameda county. San Fran places are out since they only want people who live IN SF... Which really screws me over, because if I can't afford to live here, I surely can't there.
I'm just starting to feel desperate. I'm going to write an essay in why I think me having a hysto and ovar is a good idea and show it to all the medical people I can. :\
I got so much other stresses going on, that this is just something that I could actually do something about, yet can't at the same time.