hi All
First time for me. I was doing my grocery shopping and in a store I go to every week. Staff know me, other customers know me, it is a local community shopping supermarket. It's great. I feel totally comfortable and I feel completely accepted. Everyone who knows me calls me Cindy. They chat about their boy and girl friends. It's a great place to shop. 

This Saturday afternoon there were three thugs, or rather one thug who needed to impress two friends of how masculine he was. They had seen me several times in the aisles, and making a point of 'noticing ' me.  It was with two guys who were large but didn't seem concerned about me' or anything.. For Goddess sake I was buying general groceries  and they picked me in the cheese and yoghurt and I got THE STARE. I ignored it.  I was then at the Delhi section and had got my number and he just turned around and moved right in front of me (way inside personal space) and tried to stare at me. I ignored the stares and felt very uncomfortable and left.  He would have had at least a 100kilos on me.  I'm on HRT and I really don't feel physically aggressive. I placed him as having an IQ of a turkey. I felt in danger.

I didn't report it too management. I did feel frightened and I have never really felt that way before.



Cindy,
Sorry I know others carry scars, my wounds were opened. I'm bleeding.

My love to my sisters

Cindy.

Sorry

Can't fully relate at this point, but so sorry to hear about this Cindy.

You are spot on in saying IQ of a turkey (if even that)

Please know that you are loved and have various people at different stages.. from myself just starting, to those that have been full time for 20 plus years who love and support you.

Ultimately we are all in this together and when a trans brother or sister hurts, we all indirectly hurt right there with them.

May this bully get what's coming to him.

I'm really sorry Cindy.    These b****** are such cowards!!  I hate them!!    

I hope you can talk to someone because it sounds like these monsters have brought on PTSD from what has happened in the past.

I understand how traumatised you must feel. 

My thoughts are with you. 

Hugs

Cindy I am so sorry to hear of that frightening experience.

Well Cindy my dear, I will now say to you what I know that you would wisely tell others in the same situation. You should of course politely report it. You are a valued customer of that store. I am sure that the staff there will perceive that it is in their interests to protect a valued customer from harassment.

We had one minor incident in our local store, back in the early days in Cornwall, when Alison was "out" and I was in stealth. She was well known and liked but undoubtedly the information got passed around.
The one day some new trainee on the checkouts started trying to be clever with Alison calling her sir very pointedly and even at one point asking me what was up with my husband!  And all the time with an "I'm so clever to have spotted this" smirk which simply made me think - yeah but you missed me so you aren't so clever at spotting people as you think!

We talked quietly to the store manager and after that incident we understand that all staff in the store were given guidance on being respectful of customers. It has never ever happened again.

Cindy,
I am so glad you were able to get out of there safely.
Please bear with me as i know i am not always good with words. You have no reason to be ashamed of the feelings you were having. Having been wounded as deeply as you have it seems like those type of wounds never seem to 100 % gone. You were at a place where you are normally comfortable going to and because of a jerk who acted the way he did, it opened up some old wounds and you did feel threatened. I don't believe fear itself is a bad thing it's there to protect us. It's when we allow it to paralize us that it becomes bad.
  You have come so far and from what little i have read of your story it gives me so much hope and courage that i can get there too. Please don't let it discourage you. I have found when i think about it too much about these types of things they end up stopping me in my tracks and then it takes a long time to get going again. I do hope this makes sense.

With love
Sarah

Cindy, hope you are feeling batter now.  I would love to do something more concrete to help, so please accept a big virtual hug for now, Sis.

Give me a call if you want to talk.     Sandra.

Cindy, I can't add anything that will take away the fear.

Women get the rough end of the deal from mindless morons.

You're an attractive lady who is very smart, remember that next time you go out.

Don't you dare apologise. You have nothing to feel sorry for.

That guy was a troglodyte and a moron and if he felt the need to prove what big man he was, he shouldn't have picked on a woman in front of his "friends". Makes me think he was covering up for his own insecurites about his sexuality/gender.

Feel better soon

Gil

Cindy.

I first read this a few hours ago.

I'm sorry I didn't respond earlier, but this has really made me so angry.

Warmest hugs to you my dear sister

Cindy,

     I'm so sorry to hear this too. I'm glad you are O.K. Hugs Hugs Hugs to you.

Jennifer

I would say IQ of an rock, but that's just me. It sickens me when guys pull something of that sort on anyone.

You have many people here that have your back, sister. You are a very smart and attractive woman, and you are very deeply loved by everyone in this community.

Sometimes the world makes me angry. I'm just glad you're okay Cindy

Thanks everyone.

I'm fine this morning.

No one and nothing will break me.

Curative power of a cup of tea at 4am

Hugs and thanks

Cindy

First, that others have pain doesn't in any way change the pain you feel.  Hurting is hurting, period.  Nobody should be put in a situation where they are hurt like that, period.  A really wise friend once told me that it's dumb to compare sufferings.  Suffering is suffering, and it doesn't matter if it is better or worse than someone else's.  No need to apologize here.  If you were in the hospital, in pain, it wouldn't be wrong to take pain medication - even if someone else there was injured too.

Second, based on your avatar, you look great and have a feminine elegance in the way you carry yourself.

Third, you have the human right to "be".

Finally, it is so sad that people would try to take away someone's joy and peace.  I'm sad that you had to deal with that garbage.  It's sad that they would try to intimidate you and terrorize you - when you're just being yourself, being honest with the world.  And it's not just low IQ (although I'm sure that these were no geniuses) - it's much worse in people that causes this.  I've known plenty of people with low IQs who were decent, kind people - these creeps had a much deeper problem than just their low intelligence.  They have low humanity.

Oh wow Cindy!!!

I just saw this thread... I'm just glad your alright... I've had people give me hard stares and follow me about in the past and it can be frightening... I bet your heart was pounding

Quote from: CindyJames on February 06, 2011, 02:37:31 PM


No one and nothing will break me.

Hugs dear sister

- Virginia

Oh Cindy,
I think of you as a sister and I am so sorry that it happened.
It is strange how as you transition that what wound never bother you before is now very traumatic.
I am now very careful when I am out after dark even in places that I felt comfortable in as a guy.
It is a new world and a very different new life for us.

QuoteYou should of course politely report it. You are a valued customer of that store. I am sure that the staff there will perceive that it is in their interests to protect a valued customer from harassment.

I agree 100% with Jenny on this one. You don't want others getting harassed either by those fools.
Who will they pick on next time? A physically or metally impaired child or adult.
Or my guess would be anyone who look different than what they call norm.
I just can stand people like that.

I'm glad you are feeling better today Cindy.
Here's a Hug just for you,
Jillieann

Cindy,
I am so sorry this happened. While Sara and I have had a terrific time at Disney, we did have on idiot yell ->-bleeped-<- towards us at the end of the night. I didn't notice, but Sara mentioned it to me and even just the second hand account made me nervous and upset. I can't imagine how such an aggressive act made you feel. I'm glad that a cup of tea has helped though.

We do occasionally draw the attention of morons, who just has to get in our face because their penis is about an inch long.  And that is when they are excited.

We just have to let these incidents slide.   Especially when they are in places we generally feel safe.

Personally I would have reported it to management and the police, if necessary.

Hugs Sis.  Have another cuppa and relax.

Stay strong, Cindy!That sounds like a really scary experience and for what? Because you are living your life how you see fit? It's crazy that that's just so intimidating and scary to people. I'm glad that you are doing better the next day and that you are staying focused on what you have to do. Keep smiling and, as always, don't let anything stand in your way Meghan

Sending you hugs Cindy- stay strong, you're an amazing lady x