Hey everyone, hope you are all well ?  Am feeling all cheery this evening so read on ...

I should have finished work at 7pm this evening, I had my coat on and was ready to go when one of the guys I work with asked if I could help him out with what he was doing.  He explained what the issue was he was having and we went through the various options until he was happy with the result.  I was more than happy to help but its now like 8:30pm !!  The train I catch leaves at 8:40pm, its a 15 minute walk to the train station from where I work, its raining, I am tired, am starting to feel grumpy and I have on new shoes that aren't the most practical choice for dashing to catch a train (I never learn !!).  There is no way I am going to reach the train in time so I decide to just grab a taxi and get it to drop me off at the pub just around the corner from the station.  I would rather sit in the pub for 30 minutes that sit on a cold underground station full of drunk, smelly old men !! 

So the cab drops me off and I go into the pub, all I want is to just get a drink and take the weight of my feet which are now starting to throb again.  So I get my drink, find somewhere to sit and get myself comfy.  I take my coat off and sort my hair out as its looking a little windswept by now, as I am sitting there miding my own business I can feel someone looking at me, you know the kinda feeling I mean ?  So I glance up and there is this guy looking over at me, he is tall, well dressed and good looking so I smile and he smiles back, I hold eye contact with him for a few seconds and then look away.  I take a sip of my drink, leave it a few minutes and then glance over at him again.  He looks up and we smile at each other once more and then glance away.  This happens another few times over the next 10 minutes, during this time I am trying to figure out if he is going to come over or not.  He is stood at the end of the bar talking with some of the staff and a few other guys, as he is talking to the guys he is with a few of them glance over in my direction and then carry on talking.  Just as I am about to leave he picks up an empty glass, fills it from a large jug and turns towards me.

OMG, he is actually walking over to me !!!!  I straighten my hair a bit and sit up a little straighter, as he reaches my table he smiles, places the drink down on the table and then sits down next to me.  He introduces himself and ask my name, I introduce myself and he holds his hand out.  As I take it he squeezes it a little and then lifts my hand up and gently kisses it, making me feel like someone has just given me an electric shock.  As he lowers my hand he squeezes it again, smiles and then says I am the sexiest woman he has ever seen.  Wow, no one has ever kissed my hand before and no one has ever told me I am sexy, he still has hold of my hand and I am feeling like I am going to just faint or something !!  We start chatting and I seem to be laughing at most of what he says.  In the back of my mind I keep telling myself to relax and not to do anthing stupid.  The music that is playing in the pub is kinda loud so when we cant hear each other he leans in really close to me.  Every time he does this I get this weird feeling inside and when he pulls away I get a twinge of disappointment.  We chat some more and after a while he asks me to enjoy the drink, says he will see me later and heads back over to the other guys he was with.

I am kinda struggling to try and describe how I feel at this point.  I have met quite a few guys over the last year or so, have kissed quite a few and even dated one or two of them.  None of them have lived up to the expectations I have in a guy and none of them have come remotely close to how this guy just made me feel.  He was charming, acted like a gentleman, was confident, made me smile and laugh, listened with interest to what I was saying and had no problem talking about himself.  Add to that the fact he was tall, well dressed, well groomed, had a great smile and was good looking - could you really ask for anymore.

So I finish the drink he has brought me and put my scarf and coat on.  As I am getting ready to leave he walks over again and takes my hand.  As he lets go I glance down and see he has given me his business card, he looks me in the eyes and says to give him a call, smiles and walks away !!!!

I am just stunned, I am looking at the card right now and wondering what to do next.  I am thinking that I may give it a day or so and then give him a call.  Wow, still cant believe how good I am feeling right now !! 

Becky
xx

Hey, hey, hey, Beckster's on her way.  Isn't it great when a man can make you all tingly inside.  So the big question is..... Are you going to phone him

Steph

There really is nothing like a man taking your hand .

Becky, how romantic. You had me on the edge of my seat. I usually don't read the long posts as I can't keep my attencion span that long. You did though. I can't wait for the next chapter if there will be one.
Sheila

*Sighs*     Sounds like you had a wonderful evening,  I wish some great looking guy would do that for me.....

I really enjoyed the posting Becky, it was very romantic.
Do keep us posted.
Jillieann

Congratulations Becky.  Get used to it.  I have had several guys do the same with me and it's starting to become a regular occurence.  I'm sure it will continue happening with you too.  But the first time it happens, you feel like such a little girl in that you swoon over the littlest things a guy does when you know any other woman would probably be used to it by now.  Anyway congrats and I hope you are able to go even further with this.

Melissa

Quote from: Steph on January 15, 2007, 05:54:23 PM
Hey, hey, hey, Beckster's on her way.  Isn't it great when a man can make you all tingly inside.  So the big question is..... Are you going to phone him

Steph

Its the most amazing feeling ever.  There was one point I think I felt as though if he had just pulled me to my feet and told me to follow him I would have done !!  Well, I did contact him today but will come to that part in a moment ...

Quote from: Sheila on January 15, 2007, 06:33:35 PM
Becky, how romantic. You had me on the edge of my seat. I usually don't read the long posts as I can't keep my attencion span that long. You did though. I can't wait for the next chapter if there will be one.
Sheila

Now I have read back through my post it does sound kinda romantic doesn't it.  Am glad it kept you reading !!

Quote from: LynnER on January 15, 2007, 06:50:09 PM
*Sighs*     Sounds like you had a wonderful evening,  I wish some great looking guy would do that for me.....

It was definately a wonderful evening.  After what happened last night all I can say is you never know when it may happen to you !!

Quote from: Jillieann on January 15, 2007, 08:36:49 PM
I really enjoyed the posting Becky, it was very romantic.
Do keep us posted.
Jillieann

Thanks hon, keep reading for todays update !!

Quote from: Melissa on January 15, 2007, 08:39:45 PM
Congratulations Becky.  Get used to it.  I have had several guys do the same with me and it's starting to become a regular occurence.  I'm sure it will continue happening with you too.  But the first time it happens, you feel like such a little girl in that you swoon over the littlest things a guy does when you know any other woman would probably be used to it by now.  Anyway congrats and I hope you are able to go even further with this.

Melissa

Thanks Melissa, if this keeps up I am going to be a really happy girl !!  I felt exactly as you described and was kinda hoping that things where going to go further, but am not so sure now ...



So here is today's update ...



Well this week looks like its going to turn out to be one of those weeks !!  I wasn't really entirely sure what to do about calling this guy so spent most of my time getting ready this morning and traveling to work thinking about what I should do.  I really felt like I wanted to see this guy again but was a little nervous about getting in touch with him.  Anyway, once I was in work I kinda forgot about him for a while as there was so much to do, I was busy all morning and getting stuck in the lift didn't really help matters much - see I said it was going to be one of those weeks !!  Since that mishap I have been sticking to the stairs all day, lol.  So it gets to dinner time, I grab myself a cuppa and sit down at my desk with my banana and yoghurt to ponder a bit more about what I am going to do.

So what's the worst that can happen - he won't be interested?  I can't see this happening after his behaviour the previous evening.  Although I have heard plenty of stories from people about when they meet someone who seems interested but when they get back in touch the feeling seems to have changed.  If this is the case there is nothing I can really do about it, its one of the pitfalls of meeting people I suppose so I will try not to worry about it.

What's the best thing that can happen ?  Well he might want to see me again, it doesn't need to be anything serious but it would be nice to actually get to know this guy.  If his behavior the previous evening is anything to go by then I don't have anything to lose. Do I ?

But how long should I wait to get back in touch with him ?  I don't won't him to think I am desperate but I have never quite understood the games some people play in these situations.  If you like someone, just go for it !!

So it's all decided - I will get in touch with him.  Am sort of torn at this point between phoning and texting him.  I am in work, there isn't much privacy and I have got loads to do.  No probs, I will drop him a text.  I pop his number in my phone and then send him a text introducing myself again, asking how he is and thanking him for the previous evening.  I get back to work and about ten minutes after my text message I get a reply back.  Oooooh ... he replied !!    He says he enjoyed meeting me and asks would I like to meet again.  We text back and forth for a while, he asks about what sort of things I like doing and we get on to the subject of what kind of food a like.  I explain that I am a quite fussy when it comes to eating and even though I am trying not to let my imagination run away at this point I am feeling that things seem to be going okay and that maybe he is going to actually ask me out.  Maybe take me somewhere that serves nice food and where we can chat and get to know each other better.

Isn't it strange that the moment you have thoughts like these that things seem to start going down hill ?  So there we were happily texting away when the subject seems to switch suddenly to how I make him feel.  We aren't talking here about him feeling a happiness that stretches from his toes to his head every time he thinks of me, but rather about how aroused I make him feel and about if I can do anything to help relieve this state of arousal.  Do I really want to talk about this with someone I don't know that well ?  Not really.  Don't get me wrong, he didn't say anything that was out of line or that insulted me but why do we always end up having to talk about this stuff ?  Dear me, there are moments that it feels like the only way to actually get to know someone and start a relationship that may lead to something more serious is to have sex with them.  I spent a long time thinking how to reply to these messages, I know that what I am about to say is probably going to put him off but honesty is the order of the day here.  I basically texted him back saying that sex isn't really what I am looking for, it doesn't interest me that much and doesn't play a big part in my life at the moment.  I also explained that I am not saying I will never have sex, but that it's only going to happen with someone I can really trust and at a point at which I am ready for it !!  He texted back a while later saying he doesn't want to get in to anything heavy and will be in touch.  I know it kinda hard sometimes to get the tone of something when its in a text message but it really felt as though this is probably going to be the last time I hear from him.  I might be completely wrong, he could text me out of the blue with an invitation to go out somewhere, but it really feels like we are looking for different things and that we won't speak again.

So how do I feel right now ?  Not really sure to be honest.  Even though I am kinda used to things ending up like this I do feel disappointed.  I was about to say that I wish the guys I speak to and meet didn't have to spoil things by always bringing it down to sex.  But then am I just as bad for wanting to get to know someone, for wanting to spend time with them and for wanting to trust them 100% before I even consider having sex.  I honestly don't know, it's not the end of the world and I am a sure the right guy for me is out there somewhere - I just wish he would show his face lol !!  Things may not have turned out the way I wished but there are some positive point to take away from this.  This experience has been an amazing boost to my confidence, nothing like this has happened before and as Melissa said, hopefully it's a sign of similar things to come.   

Becky
xx

You did the right thing Becks.

It sucks when guys do that to us, it's happened to me a couple of times.  I remember a few months back when I met two guys (different occasions), who at first seemed really nice, interesting, suave, funny and all that.  One danced me off my feet, and the other was just damn nice.  On both occasions we left the club and went to a quiet pub to chat and snack, and both times the conversation turned to sex and how they would like me to go up to their apartment.  One wanted me to go for drinks and to check out his collection of photographs (give me a break) and the other was quite up front and wanted me to go back to his place for drinks and maybe we could go to bed. (Nice one).

So I know how you're feeling, disappointed, a little let down, a little mad that there really are jerks out there.  I  know that I felt that I must have a sign on my forehead or something.  I feel the same way you do in that like you I want to meet someone, someone to get to know, someone to spend time with, and there's nothing wrong with that.  There are nice guys out there I guess it's just a case of finding them huh!

Steph

Hang in there Becks!  The good ones are out there. I dated guys who weren't interested in anything more than getting me into bed. It was always about sex. Then I met Andy at a mutual friend's christmas party. He's tall, good looking and fun. We really didn't hit it off until we were leaving and he collected a kiss under the mistletoe. I swear you could see the sparks! And here we are 8 years later and the sparks are still there. 

Karen Lyn   

Quote from: beckster on January 16, 2007, 04:17:34 PM
Thanks Melissa, if this keeps up I am going to be a really happy girl !!  I felt exactly as you described and was kinda hoping that things where going to go further, but am not so sure now ...

Hehe, been there, done that quite a few times.   One guy was an FTM that knew I was TS and so for fun I (sort of, but not quite) slept with him.  The few guys who didn't know I was TS all wanted sex and I wasn't about to reveal my secret, so I was able to get out of it.

You will probably find that out of all the guys that are interested in you, probably 90% will just be interested in sex.  It's that remaining 10% you need to shoot for.  Percentages may vary depending on where you look though.  Good luck Becky.

Melissa

Hey Becky,
I know it was hard but you did good girl. 
You don't need a guy who thinks the thing between his legs is what a relationship is all about. It looks like he was sweet talking you to get his needs met. Yuck. 
You said,

QuoteBut then am I just as bad for wanting to get to know someone, for wanting to spend time with them and for wanting to trust them 100% before I even consider having sex.

No way girl, trust is first part of building any relationship and way way before sex.
Hang in there. As Melissa said,

QuoteIt's that remaining 10% you need to shoot for.

Give it time Becky your a great person and a good guy will come alone and sweep you off your feet one of these days..
I know it hurts right now and you are disappointed.
So he are a couple of hugs.
Jillieann

Thanks for the kind words and advice everyone.  I know you are all right and its just a case of hanging in there but there are times I really do feel like I am going to be single for the rest of my life.  Hopefully one day someone will come along and sweep me of my feet, although I think my mistake is that when I go out clubbing by myself it gives the wrong impression to guys.  Nightclubs probably aren't the best place to meet people - the music is so loud you can barely hear each other and if you cant talk easily then how are you going to get know someone.  Maybe I just need to relax a little and stop worrying about sex, one night stands will never be my thing but maybe I just put to many barriers up and guys just think I am to much work.

Becky
xx