When I first came here, I talked about how odd my dreams were; in my dreams, I was usually male (maab), except when I had anxiety dreams or nightmares, and then I was usually female (faab). I was rarely ever 'myself' in either case. This is how it had been for most of my life.

Now that I have been going through transition (therapy, surgery, HRT), that has changed. At this point, 8 months later, I actually dream about being myself. Not a random male-assigned-at-birth person who happens to be me for that dream, but my own self. In my dreams now, I am male while acknowledging that I have gone through transition to get there. It's hard to explain, but it's a radical change for me. It's also a positive one, because during my waking hours I have been a lot happier and I've accepted my situation and have done what I can to become my true self. But seeing it come up in my subconscious mind this way is very ... empowering. It's a switch from being completely disconnected/displaced from my body, to actually acknowledging that THIS IS ME.

I also no longer suffer from constant insomnia anymore, which was a lifelong affliction--although whether this is due to my becoming at ease with my body or just a happy side effect of HRT is unknown. Either way, I'm grateful for it.

Wow ... that is good news...as someone who just beginning to transition .. .I have had lifelong problems with insomina too

I find it very interesting, really... since our dreams are so unfiltered. I guess I didn't acknowledge that my dysphoria was REALLY relenting until my dreams changed. I guess I didn't want to fool myself into believing something just because I wanted so badly, you know?

Lance, I had the same thing going on with sex dreams, and the same kind of switch over to having a dream body that matches my real body. I think it's all good, though, it just shows we're accepting our bodies, something that has been a lifelong struggle for most of us.

I know what you guys mean. My dreams are somewhat the same. Most of the time when I'm dreaming the me in the dream knows that I'm a guy. Like fully accepts and acknowledges the fact that I'm a guy, however in situations where I'm suddenly naked or has to get naked, dream me freaks out because dream me is afraid of coming out to everyone, or having certain people in the dream find out. It's actually pretty funny when I wake up and I think "omfg, wtf?!!" I guess in a way, it channels what I feel in real life into my dreams...but in a more anxiety/panic situation.

I think one of the weirdest dreams I have had about transition was me, along with a bunch of my classmates (I knew them all IRL, and also they were from different classes I have taken) being forced to do math homework in this dim lit yellowy area (yes the math part made it a nightmare). It looked like were were either underground or underwater. These men in white full body (including head/face) suits were watching us very carefully. I remember feeling afraid of them, afraid of what they might do to us if they caught us not finishing the problems or whatever. Suddenly though they all came after all of us, and forced us to strip down to our underwear and get into female and male lines. I freaked out then because I didn't want to disclose the fact that I am transsexual to everyone. I got into the male line, and to my surprise there was a MTF in that line too. When she got up to the weird looking woman (who had like dead eyes and were wearing white body suits as well) said that after her tests she will be transitioning to the proper sex.

I was the last one of the male line, I was so nervous because I was watching all of the other guys undergoing these really odd tests (even tests to see how long/fast they can hip trust). The woman looked at me, checked my backside and went "female". And I was like "no, I'm transexual. I'm not female at all!" and because of that she said "Do not worry, after your tests, you will undergo surgery to be your proper sex." and that was it. I woke up. How weird is that for a transitioning dream?!