When I eventually start HRT and my transitioning whatever job I am in I plan not to hide my feminity. Once the changes start it will be hard to keep it a secret so why try to keep it a secret. On my last job before I was let go I had support from a few of the ladies there most were in there mid 30's. I didnt try to hide much although I was and still not on HRT I dressed moderatly as female and no one so much as rasied an eyebrow. Got some strange looks from the younger males but not much else. It all depends on the job. I was at the low end of the ladder as far as job status. I did mostly facilities work, setting up for new hires and general cleanup, office supplies, breakroom, made coffe in the morning so most just didnt pay me much attention anyway. I was pretty much ignored so it didnt much matter what I wore. This was a pretty much laid back company and most except the executive types wore rather mundane stuff , jeans t shirts and sneakers. I don't think I would worry much on the job. If upper management has a problem I'll go somewere else.

Linda Ann

Love being female

Quote from: Linda Ann on January 09, 2007, 06:51:28 PM
I didnt try to hide much although I was and still not on HRT I dressed moderatly as female and no one so much as rasied an eyebrow.

Along with the changes from five months of HRT, I'm also now wearing women's khaki-type pants and women's sweaters. It's nothing TOO obvious, but still, they have a distinctly feminine shape and fit. And if I sit or stand certain ways, such as with my hands in my back pockets (habit), it's rather obvious that I have breasts. When I see myself in the mirror, I just have to laugh. There's just no way to not notice.

But aside from one guy, who's probably been suspecting me for some time, no one else (whom I haven't told) suspects. I have a rather well-placed spy in the office, and she *swears* that no one else has mentioned a thing aside from one question about my "weight loss."

My wife says I WANT to out myself, since I keep pushing my luck farther and farther. She might be right, as it's almost becoming insulting that I can look SO different (in my eyes), and yet other people don't notice a thing.

On the other hand, I've walked up to a couple of people now who know me, yet haven't seen me in months, and they literally had no idea who I was.

Go figure.

Kate

Quote from: KateBut aside from one guy, who's probably been suspecting me for some time, no one else (whom I haven't told) suspects.

Don't kid yourself sweetie hon,  folks are more intuitive than we think.

Steph

Quote from: Steph on January 09, 2007, 07:55:53 PM
Don't kid yourself sweetie hon...

Oh but, my, it's one of my finest skills...

"I'll never transition! It's just too insane!"

"I'll never say I'm a woman! That's just part of a big conspiracy called the religion of transsexuality!"

"Really honey, I'm just removing the beard because it's a pain to shave!"

"But you *know* I've always wanted to fix my teeth up. It's not like it's the start of some grand, master plan to transition or anything."

"I'm only begging for an HRT letter so I can have it for comfort. I'll never actually USE it."

"I'll stop hormones after a month! Really, it's just a trial to see!"

"I'll stop hormones after a two months! Really, it's just a trial to see!"

"Honestly, men do not appeal to me at all."

I can't imagine why my wife doesn't trust a word I say anymore.

Sigh.

Kate

When the lies stop, your life moves on.  It's a hard thing to accept to be sure.

Cindi

Quote from: Bev on January 09, 2007, 06:14:35 PMI hope I don't get bombarded by a lot of very feminine lesbian trans sisters!

Hmm, is just one okay? I've always envied natal women's ability to just throw on a T-shirt and jeans and still be obviously female. As I am now, simply adding a bra and breast enhancers under neutral clothes makes the difference between drab and presenting as female. So it's certainly possible to have a female presentation without it having to be particularly feminine.

Hehe, drab isn't even an option for me anymore.  I swear I can go into a store wearing no makeup, no bra or anything and neutral clothes and I will still get ma'amed.  Of course the voice *does* help.

I pretty much fall right in the middle though between butch and feminine.  Perhaps more on the feminine side because of my hair length and the fact I usually wear makeup.  But I pretty much try and find a balance where I feel comfortable.

Kate, you are so funny with all of those quotes.  I couldn't help but laugh, because I saw it coming so far back.

Melissa

Quote from: Melissa on January 10, 2007, 12:59:03 AM


I pretty much fall right in the middle though between butch and feminine.  Perhaps more on the feminine side

  That's a very good way to describe me too!

Hmm, maybe instead of "drab" I shoulda said "not trying". Yep, I used to (sometimes) get ma'amed pre HRT in men's jeans and a polo shirt so I concede that "drab" can be a relative term, LOL.

Quote from: Bev on January 09, 2007, 09:45:30 AM
 
Otherwise at work, the management staff like me (they like me...they really like me!...heheh) personally and professionally. 

A very brief update:  the harrassers have pestered me, and a female friend of mine enough, that we've gone to management, and let them know about their behavior, and that I was about to file sexual harrassment against them, with documentation.
After that, they seem to totally ignore me, and otherwise give me a wide berth as though I were a poisonuous snake.  Good choice on their part

Quote from: Bev on January 18, 2007, 09:26:30 PM

Quote from: Bev on January 09, 2007, 09:45:30 AM
 
Otherwise at work, the management staff like me (they like me...they really like me!...heheh) personally and professionally. 

A very brief update:  the harrassers have pestered me, and a female friend of mine enough, that we've gone to management, and let them know about their behavior, and that I was about to file sexual harrassment against them, with documentation.
After that, they seem to totally ignore me, and otherwise give me a wide berth as though I were a poisonuous snake.  Good choice on their part

Hmm, sounds like there is some hidden hostility in your work environment which may not be very conducive to a smooth transition.  I am a bit worried for you because I'm sure these guys were reprimanded in some way and they probably hold some anger towards you.  I'm praying that when you do come out it goes ok, otherwise it will be very uncomfortable when you do go fulltime and you may be seen as the "poisonous snake" by your peers from now on.  That's not a good position to be in--to have people only be kind to you out of fear rather than genuinely likeing you.  Now you probably have a better feel for the enviroment than I'll ever have, but that doesn't stop me from worrying (OMG, I'm sounding like my mother ).

Melissa

Quote from: Bev on January 18, 2007, 09:26:30 PM
After that, they seem to totally ignore me, and otherwise give me a wide berth as though I were a poisonuous snake.  Good choice on their part

Well, THAT doesn't sound like much fun

Have you ever considered a formal coming out via management? Ya know, get managent behind you and let the company know what you're doing and why? People generally don't like feeling deceived, like you're "putting one over on them." I think THEY think it makes you fair game for hostility, whether that's fair or not. If you're open and upfront with everyone, it may to create a different atmosphere.

Kate

Quote from: Melissa on January 18, 2007, 11:36:31 PM
Now you probably have a better feel for the enviroment than I'll ever have, but that doesn't stop me from worrying (OMG, I'm sounding like my mother ).

Melissa

Melissa, please don't worry.  Yes, I DO have a very good feel for my work situation, and there isn't a thing for me to worry about.  I've had nothing but perfectly good communication with the management staff, and with my immediate co-workers as well.  Still get hugs or smiles from the girls and 'high 5's from the guys, with the exception of the couple mentioned earlier .  So, please don't worry Mom .  I'm actually made of pretty tough stuff, and it takes quite a bit to ruffle my feathers.

Quote from: Kate on January 19, 2007, 08:19:06 AM
Have you ever considered a formal coming out via management?  People generally don't like feeling deceived, like you're "putting one over on them."

Kate

Actually Kate, I don't plan on a formal or informal coming out.  The one or two people I work with who know, I've never told...they just know.  Being lesbian (yes....I know I am, no question) I really have no desire to wear very feminine clothes, especially at work.  At home, and out and about, it's usually jeans, women's sneakers, women's or men's sweater, and bra, and a touch of lipstick, nothing bright.  I'm perfectly happy looking gender-neutral at work.  No lipstick, of course, and the company colors in shirts and slacks.  No problem there. I do wear a flattering (makes me flatter) sport bra at work.