So how long were you able to function in your birth gender while on HRT before you started changing enough to start making people ask questions or start having people treat you different? I ask because a friend was shocked by my appearance and couldnt believe my wife hasnt said anything yet, so now I'm worrying if I dont have as much time as I thought to work some things out.

So here are two pictures. One taken about 4 months ago and one taken two days ago. Am I close to being in trouble?

How far in are you? Aren't you only about a month or two in?

You're not far along enough to say something like: "I'm in a rocker stage" and have them not believe it.

It's been about 4 1/2 months so far.

Well. There is a big difference, but someone who sees you everyday won't be able to tell so easily. Has the rest of the body had major changes yet??

Skin is lighter, features are less masculine. The boy's draining off good.

If they ask just say you have been losing weight.  And that would not be lying.  Muscle mass is weight. 

Comb your hair ack away from your face and I dough anyone would notice.

Since your beard is dark, at least you can get laser on it, rather than consuming a lot of time with electrolysis. 

Quote from: Rabbit on February 23, 2011, 05:45:14 PM
I think the only thing that would really "out" you would be breasts (or overdoing the eyebrows). Everything else you can just deny and say "yea? so? my skin is soft, is that a problem?" (but really, who is going to bring up things like that face to face? asking someone if they are secretly taking HRT is kind of out of the normal list of questions for most people ).

Exactly - who really even has the concept of someone taking HRT on their minds? The general population is pretty ignorant about what is actually involved with transitioning.

One thing that I have found helps is having sported the long hairstyle in the past. Several times in the past few years I have grown out my hair to the 6+ inch range, so me walking around with longer hair doesn't really shock anyone. And it really is about who sees you often and who doesn't - the changes are slow and subtle enough that everyone who I see on a daily basis really doesn't notice anything.

For me, I'm in just about the perfect middle after about 7 months of HRT - I get read as a male when I need to be, but do my hair a little differently and 9 times out of 10 I get read as female.

As long as you don't start doing a bunch of things to draw attention to yourself like changing you username at works to something like "transuser" or insisting you fly on "transair" I think you can buy yourself some more time........ Just dont talk with your TG gf on the phone for five hours a day either.......lol

Today I was at a big corporate logistics meeting with a regional electric company and they wrote a user name and password for guests to use the WiFi. The assigned user name was TRANSGUEST1. WTF? Seems like weird stuff like that has been happening alot lately.

And when we both tried to book flights from different cities to NYC....... travelocity put us both on Transair.... lol

Well, I'm 11 months in and nobody at work knows that I'm aware of... at least I've not gotten wind of anything.  I hope I don't shock everyone too badly when I go full time in a few months.

As for being treated differently, that's a maybe.  A lot of the men seem to treat me nicer now, but that could just be in my head.  Outside of work, I think I probably just confuse a lot of people if I'm boy mode.

I wouldn't worry about it too much Stacy.
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A lot of it will depend on your age.  People in their early 20's won't have a lot of time before things become noticeable.  Unless we're really fortunate with HRT results, middle-age transitioners like us tend to have more time before people notice.
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I'm 37.  I've been on HRT for 13 months now.  I'm almost done with electrolysys, so there's no beard shadow to speak of even if I don't shave for a week.  I have long shoulder-length red hair.  If my brows were any thinner, I wouldn't have any left.  I keep my nails long and trim (no polish though).   Outside of work and family, I'm full time, and people accept me as a woman. 
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At work, and with my family, everyone sees me as a man.  I wear a baggy shirt to hide what little chest development I have, and don't wear any jewelry, but otherwise I look pretty much the same (aside from subtle clothing/makeup/voice/mannerism cues).  And you know what I've learned?...
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...people are dense.  Reeeaaaaally really dense.  As long as you make the changes slowly and don't draw attention to yourself,  it's unlikely anyone will notice.  And even if they do notice something, it's extremely unlikely that they'll think of HRT unless they have previous experience with Trans issues.
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I'm not exactly sure what your friend was so shocked about (the "Rocker" hair maybe?  It looks like it's getting to that awkward middle stage where it may be getting hard to manage.  I always just went along with the 'rocker' 'hippie' and 'headbanger' jokes of my co-workers.  If you keep it light, and it doesn't seem like a big deal to you, it won't seem as big a deal to others.  They may think you're going through a mid-life crisis, or trying to relive your rocker/hippie youth...and then finally and eventually just accept it as you, but you can use their assumptions to help deflect/diffuse the subject.). 
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I think you look enough like the original photo to be just fine for a while.  People will probably notice the hair growing out the most, because there really isn't any way to do that subtly.   Because of that, I'd probably be careful about any other noticeable changes (ie.  thin eyebrows, ear piercings, etc)  I've had long hair for over a decade now, so that hasn't really been an issue for me.  (though I still get the rocker/hippie/headbanger/skater jokes   )

But anyway...breathe easy.  You should be fine for a bit. 
We all work at our own pace, and you'll get there when you're ready for it.
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Best of luck,
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Kay

There is a difference between people who see you often and people who only see you once in awhile. The latter group will notice changes that the former will not. Nobody noticed much more than my hair getting longer back in Houston before I ended up moving, but my breasts had gotten larger, skin changed and a host of other differences were apparent to me.

3 months... that was with people in my hometown I hadn't seen them between 0-3 months.

They thought I had a bad case of flu more than anything else and I got alot of "Have you been ill recently?" because I seemed to becoming thinner scrawnier my skin was thinner and paler too and my voice was changing too.  People eventually sussed it out after 4. When my budding came more visible.

At university as they saw most of my changes as they went along and nobody was suspicious they only became aware of my body changing over the 4 month summer holiday 9month total... There is one massively unobservant girl I work with who didn't even notice it then she described it as a "new look" and became aware that something was up when she saw my name on an email I sent her... Everyone else however noticed very quickly. "They have boobs... They don't look or sound like a man anymore... There name has changed in the class register."

Quote from: StacyBeaumont on February 23, 2011, 08:37:18 PM
Today I was at a big corporate logistics meeting with a regional electric company and they wrote a user name and password for guests to use the WiFi. The assigned user name was TRANSGUEST1. WTF? Seems like weird stuff like that has been happening alot lately.

That is a clear windup. But like all windups, it will come with a built in defense, if you say anything you will be made to look bad.

As Kay suggests, rise above it.

I had some natural development at puberty and was between an A and a B cup by 15. Everybody knew I was supposed to be a boy and I thought I was hiding it well until about age 16 when I realized the guys were trying to look down my shirt or "cop a feel" and strangers were calling me she.

Original plan was to wait a year before going full time, however things progressed faster than anticipated, was full time after 6 months.  When i looked enough like a woman to look ok in women's cloths, i self terminated the stealth transition.

Quote from: Izumi on February 24, 2011, 10:34:22 AM
Original plan was to wait a year before going full time, however things progressed faster than anticipated, was full time after 6 months.  When i looked enough like a woman to look ok in women's cloths, i self terminated the stealth transition.

That's my plan 1 year once I start HRT, but if it happens faster that will be ok.

Quote from: Kay on February 23, 2011, 11:47:33 PM
I'm not exactly sure what your friend was so shocked about .....

I am the friend and both my wife and I were shocked when we were video chatting...... So keep in mind that since I am TG and three months into HRT I am OVERLY sensitive to the changes... lol

It just freaked us both out because we wondered what other people see.

The biggest, time versus change, criteria is age. If you are early twenties 4 months can make significant difference, on the other hand, if you are in your 40s 4 months or even year can make visible, but not shocking to public nor friends, changes. Go with transition and when the question arises then you will deal with it. From my own experience, all the planing, dreaming and strategies went out the window in split second last Christmas. So go with the flow and enjoy this time like never before!