Quote from: Sevan on January 30, 2011, 09:54:36 PM
Oh I feel ya Alex!!
My therapist had me do an exericise in therapy. She asked me to close my eyes and have a conversation with all the facets of myself. Create a room that would be comfortable for all...and start asking what everyone would want and need.
If facets don't have names yet...start there! Even if the "name" is simply an emotion or a sense. "manly" or "angry" is a proper name if it fits and suits.
From there...ask what everyone needs. How can these needs be met? It doesn't even have to be realistic! Just...listen. From there you can start to peice together that which is realistic and plausable.
For me...everyone just wants to be seen. That's not always possible. We just...strive for the balance as we can get it. *hugs*

Can I <3 you? 

I agree with this.  It's something I've used in the past (and still do) for things such as this (and a few other things as well). 

Personally, I sometimes allot times to let each side have its moment to shine and to be out and about.  This makes it so each bit is satisfied and I'm still me and happier.

finding an acceptable ballance is a constent struggle for me she always wants to exist more he's mostly happy as long as I keep the beard and suppress her emotional response a little.  No crying in public.  Other wise he pulls me down,  but if need to I can work out a compromise on the spot, eg kick a tree and cry is ok pretend I'm angry to let him exist.  Do what you need to to survive and be true to your needs as a whole person sometimes she wants make-up sometimes he is against it.  a constant balancing act but it works.  Good luck at finding your balance