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I've finally gone out as a woman

Started by Jayne, April 02, 2011, 06:16:48 AM

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Jayne

Yesterday I suprised myself by building up the courage to go outdoors as a woman in daylight hours!
I was planning on visiting a friend who lives in another town & decided to try & set foot outside the house as a woman, I was ready to leave at 11am but seemed to find loads of things to do around my flat to put it off (pick up a piece of fluff on the floor, straighten the pillows on my bed, that sort of thing  ::))
After an hour of this I decided that if I didn't go for it then i'd chicken out so I went for it, I was wearing my makeup which stops my five o'clock shadow being visible from a distance but when someone gets close enough they would notice (or so I thought)
It took me an hour to walk to the train due to the fact that I wore my knee high boots & they pinch across the toes a bit but to my delight I had 3 cars honk their horns at me, my friend thinks it's because i've got a pair of legs that many women would kill for.
When I reached the train station I found to my horror that it was packed!! My nerve left me & I got a severe case of nerves so I sat outside & had a cigarette until the shaking stopped, as I sat on the platform one woman rudely stared at me so I simply returned the stare until she averted her eyes.
When I got off the train my feet were hurting so badly I decided to get a taxi, I used my polite phone voice that has had me mistaken for a woman in the past & the driver said I could get in the front instead of the back, he then spent more time looking at my legs than the road  ;D
When we reached my friends house I said thank you & forgot to use my phone voice, the look on his face was priceless & it was only then that it dawned on me that he hadn't realised that I wasn't a woman (yet).
On the return journey I recieved a few looks but ignored them all & I had another car honk it's horn at me as I walked to the station.
My journeying took 1 1/2hrs walking, 1hr on the train & 2 taxi rides, in all that time all I recieved was one very rude prolonged stare & no more than 10 funny looks, so considering the amount of people who saw me I don't think I did too badly

The lessons I learned today were:

1: I can (just) pass as a woman

2: Some people are rude beyond belief but they are a tiny minority

3: The scariest thing about going out as a woman is what I imagine & not the way people react.

4: This is the most important lesson, never wear shoes/boots if they pinch slightly as you'll be in agony by the end of the day, i've got blisters on 4 toes & can barely put a pair of socks on right now.

If anyone else is thinking of taking this step then please don't let the fear get the better of you, understandably some people may not pass as well as I did but it's a very rewarding experience & can build your confidence tenfold.
Also, wear headphones so people don't try to talk to you & if any comments are made you probably won't hear them, it worked for me
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justmeinoz

 :icon_dance: :icon_dance: :icon_dance: Great feeling isn't it.  Except for the feet! I learned that one the hard way too. :'(
Congratulations, Karen.
"Don't ask me, it was on fire when I lay down on it"
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Devlyn

Big hugs, Jane, that's great! I'm still working my way up to a public appearance. So glad you found the will power to do it. Hugs, Tracey
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Jayne

Quote from: justmeinoz on April 02, 2011, 06:26:02 AM
:icon_dance: :icon_dance: :icon_dance: Great feeling isn't it.  Except for the feet! I learned that one the hard way too. :'(
Congratulations, Karen.

It was a stupid mistake as i've got 3 pairs of shoes, the other 2 pairs are very comfy, I love my knee high boots but they don't like me, also my calf muscles are aching today as it's the furthest i've walked with heels, to live is to learn
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Jayne

Quote from: Jane on April 02, 2011, 06:51:18 AM
It was a stupid mistake as i've got 3 pairs of shoes, the other 2 pairs are very comfy, I love my knee high boots but they don't like me, also my calf muscles are aching today as it's the furthest i've walked with heels, to live is to learn

I started with small things such as going out with my pink nail varnish on & a bit of mascara but the day before I went out I had my ears pierced with blatently obvious diamond studs & as that can't be hidden I suddenly decided to go for broke & i'm overjoyed that I did.

This also means that when I go to see the specialist in London I know i'll have the confidence to go as a woman to show him/her that i'm 100% dedicated to living as a woman
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Adabelle

Jane, I am so happy for you. I just recently went out for the first time as well and was very surprised. I think I do get read occasionally, but even when I do I've found it's not that big of a deal. I've even gone back to school and taken some classes and in the classroom I get treated totally politely by the students.

It's amazing that I kept myself all holed up inside my house (and my mind) over this. It feels natural for me to be outside as a girl - I love it. For the first time in my life I am really caring about my body and my self.

I learned the same lessons you just did. I hope others will take inspiration from what you've shared and take steps to become their true selves.
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cynthialee

Congrats!
Feels good to be seen as a woman doesn't it?
So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you can win a hundred battles without a single loss.
If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you may win or may lose.
If you know neither yourself nor your enemy, you will always endanger yourself.
Sun Tsu 'The art of War'
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Rachael

big hugs to you, i know that is a very big step and im glad u got over your fear and started living life.  ;D 
In my imagination I see a fair world,
Everyone lives in peace and in honesty there.
I dream of souls that are always free,
Like the clouds that fly,
Full of humanity in the depths of the soul.
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Janet_Girl

Hazah.  Another blow for womanhood.  You calfs will get use to the heels.  Think of it as exercise.
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V M

Congrats Jane!!!

That is a big step  ;D  Getting over that initial fear is the biggest part of it

I think I've developed new muscles in my calves from the shoes  :laugh:
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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Jayne

Quote from: Madelyn on April 02, 2011, 10:53:03 AM

It's amazing that I kept myself all holed up inside my house (and my mind) over this. It feels natural for me to be outside as a girl - I love it. For the first time in my life I am really caring about my body and my self.

I learned the same lessons you just did. I hope others will take inspiration from what you've shared and take steps to become their true selves.

I've also found that since i've told people & started taking steps to become my true self i've been more concerned with my health, I hardly ever eat junk food now & if I feel the need for a snack then I make a healthy sandwich rather than diving into endless bags of crisps.
I also hardly ever drink now & when i'm dressed as a woman I take pride over my appearance, when i'm wearing male clothes I just tend to throw on the first thing that my hand touches.

My main reason for posting my essay is in the hope of letting people know that the fears we have in our heads are often worse than the reality, I put off taking this plunge because I was afraid i'd become an outcast, out of the 50 or so people who now know from co-workers to friends & family only one person refuses to speak to me, my family are struggling to accept this but they havn't disowned me as I feared.

If you are reading this & worried about coming out & telling people then please don't live your life in misery & fear for decades as I did.
I know some people may be in an enviroment that isn't as accepting as mine but I think many people would be suprised at how accepting society can be nowdays, I know I was

Best wishes to each & every one of you

Jane
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shortnsweet1004

Congrats! First time out is a big step. Eventually, I'll work up the courage and  be just as brave as you.
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Cindy

Congrats Jane,

I think we have all learned the walking in high heels agony lesson. But the legs to strengthen up. Also be careful if you drive, you really need a pair of flats in the car and change into your heels when you get to the destination.

But the more you go out the better and easier it is. I just turn off to comments and I've never had another woman stare at me rudely. Sorry you did. She was probably jealous.

So keep with the plan :-* :-* :-* :-*

Cindy
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MarinaM

I remember the initial rush, good for you! Women are the only people I notice staring at me, and I assure you, it is because they're analyzing your appearance. Clothes, accessories, hair...

Men are mostly afraid to get caught looking. Most people either don't know, care, or just think you're interesting. Though do avoid dangerous situations (the cab ride could have been a disaster)

Have fun!
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gennee

Thank you for sharing your story, Jane. I went through similar thoughts when I started out. Now, six years later, I'm living my life.

Gennee


:)
Be who you are.
Make a difference by being a difference.   :)

Blog: www.difecta.blogspot.com
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