So...I know I have been MIA for a while & I'm sorry! I guess I just fade out of forums after a while =X But it was nice to nice I've been missed!


SOOO some of you may know that my best friend Sam has been having trouble calling me Britney or she. She says she doesn't feel comfortable using my new name and the correct pronouns because she knew me so long before that she felt like she wasn't talking about me. BUT she still sees me as a girl and supports me. She is the first person I came out too 8 months ago and she has been a pretty good friend through everything. But recently we were just kind of getting after each other. Her saying it's not fair for me to get upset about the name and me saying it is fair because she's supposed to support me etc etc. SO I ended up telling her I couldn't see her in public anymore and that I didn't know where our friendship would go because in my "new life as a woman" I can't be best friends with someone who refers to me as a male. This was at the end of an argument so it was left there. Then we had some rocky talks about our friendship etc and I ended up saying okay I'm done trying to force you to hang out with me, you can see me when you want. And then we didn't talk for four days which never happens. We talk at least once a day. It was hard but I gave her space and she texted me and we were talking and it felt different. Then I was thinking about friendship and love and I realized she's too good of a friend to lose over my name so I can't give up. So I called her, she was on vacation and didn't get my voicemail till later, but I basically told her I loved her too much to not talk to her over my name and that I love her so much etc. Later she texted me saying she loves me & she'll try to at least call me B etc. SO

TLDR - My best friend and I have had issues with her calling me Britney or she but now she's willing to really try.

Who knows, maybe she just needs a little more time. As long as she is willing to put in the effort I say that's a very good sign. I hope it all work out.

That's awesome that she is going to give it a real try! I mean, just about any relationship in life, friends or otherwise, takes at least some sort of effort on the part of both people. If people aren't willing to put forth effort, are they anything beyond friends of convenience? It's great that she is now starting to see where you need her, and she is finally putting forth the effort to do so.

Again, congrats!

Quote from: shortnsweet1004 on April 04, 2011, 11:39:29 AM
Who knows, maybe she just needs a little more time. As long as she is willing to put in the effort I say that's a very good sign. I hope it all work out.

Yeah I've been hoping all along that eventually she will be more and more okay with it. xD Since she supports me and sees me as female, she's worth keeping around because I do need and appreciate the support. Plus we love each other.

Quote from: ClaireA on April 04, 2011, 11:47:23 AM
That's awesome that she is going to give it a real try! I mean, just about any relationship in life, friends or otherwise, takes at least some sort of effort on the part of both people. If people aren't willing to put forth effort, are they anything beyond friends of convenience? It's great that she is now starting to see where you need her, and she is finally putting forth the effort to do so.

Again, congrats!

Yeah xD I had asked her if she can't call me Britney/she then to not use names or pronouns in public and she said she would try but then she said she'd go with B with is a really cute nickname anyways!

Quote from: Valeriedances on April 04, 2011, 12:27:51 PM
Hi Britney,

I think it will happen naturally over time. People who know us the closest have the hardest time, because we are so embedded in their memories. They dont even realize it when it happens, its so automatic. We tend to look at them as if they have two heads when it happens .

As she hears others call you Britney more and more, she will fall into it too, I'm sure. That's what I experienced. It can hurt when they say it, I know, but it isnt an intentional slight, just the associative memory. It will get replaced.

You did the right thing, but you know that already.

hugs,

-Valerie

Thanks Valerie! I feel good about it and it feels good to have others agree. Btw I've never really told you but I have always loved how happy and beautiful you look in your avatar!

Very good news indeed Britney!

By the way I lovvvvvvvvvve the new picture.

Very cute!

 

It would make me feel kind of ridiculous to address you as any type of male, Britney. I'm surprised your friend has any difficulty at all!

Well, no I guess I'm not surprised, because I'm nowhere near as far along as you and haven't had a truly similar experience :/

Keep your head up young lady!

yay! that's awesome that she's gonna try! like others said, i think it'll happen naturally over time. it's just hard to get used to something new for a lot of people

Quote from: tiffany_marie on April 04, 2011, 02:51:24 PM
Very good news indeed Britney!

By the way I lovvvvvvvvvve the new picture.

Very cute!

Thanks!!! I love it too hhaha

Quote from: EmmaM on April 04, 2011, 02:53:36 PM


It would make me feel kind of ridiculous to address you as any type of male, Britney. I'm surprised your friend has any difficulty at all!

Well, no I guess I'm not surprised, because I'm nowhere near as far along as you and haven't had a truly similar experience :/

Keep your head up young lady!

Thanks Emma <3

Quote from: meliaMANNEQUiN on April 04, 2011, 03:06:36 PM
yay! that's awesome that she's gonna try! like others said, i think it'll happen naturally over time. it's just hard to get used to something new for a lot of people

Yess I've been told by other friend stuff like "idk how anyone can call you *male name* at this point!"

Quote from: Valeriedances on April 05, 2011, 02:44:24 PM
Awww, thank you I was feeling especially happy that night, I dont know what it was ...maybe a full moon, lol. I took the pic late at night, just before going out. A guy latched onto me as soon as I walked into the place and bought me drinks all night trying to talk me into (you know...) doing something naughty.

Back to your friend issue. She may also be triggering based on your voice, which is imprinted to her. I know my best friend did this, she was the last one to finally come around. She had no idea she was doing it at all.

Well I don't blame him!
And that makes sense. I'm really hoping she keeps getting better though!