For some reason and I have been on HRT with patches for a year and a half and still haven't been called Miss or MS just sir or nothing, preferring nothing. I am depressed since I am a caregiver and there is nothing I can do about me working + I have reumatiod arthritus and the transtioning hurts like hell. I feel great semetimes, other just want to go out. My friend is so happy I am so sad. I am lost at 56 and just wanted to say even as I grow prettier and more femine I just cannot get the masculine out of my face my damn body no matter what I do this brain is female but this body I would rather not even been born with any at all than this crappy one.
No I am not ungrateful for this life just a 56 year old sufferage who someday probably will be homeless when the person  I am caregiving dies. Oh well I guess somebody has to lose. Brittani     

Your friend is not far from the true.  It is hard to think you're beautiful, when you hurt like hell.  But each day you should do something for you to help you see yourself as beautiful.  And never mind the rest of the world.

You're only pretty as you feel
Only pretty as you feel inside
You're only pretty as you feel
Just as pretty as you feel inside

When you wake up in the morning
Comb your hair
Rub some sleep from your eye
Look inside your mirror

Don't give vanity a second chance
No, no, no
Beauty's only skin deep
It goes just so far 'cause
You're only pretty as you feel
Just as pretty as you feel inside
You're only pretty as you feel inside

Now you're feelin' good
Now you're feelin' pretty
Now you're feelin' good
Now you're ready to face the world girl
Go out there 'n' knock 'em silly girl
Go out there 'n' show 'em how to thrill
'Cause you're only pretty as you feel
Only pretty as you feel

You're only pretty as you feel
Just as pretty as you feel inside

jefferson airplane

Brittani.

I can understand how you feel.

I'm not on any treatment, at this time. But I don't and have never accepted that I am a man. I'm a woman. I always have been. I have this ugly bit which has poisoned my body, distorting its shape.

It isn't my fault. I won't apologise to anyone for it. I play male to earn a living. Though if I'm honest, I don't rally fool anyone. I doubt most know the realities and doubt they are interested.

If I can, eventually, start to rectify my situation, I will accept that there is a lot of ground to be made up. I will accept that some of what has happened to me, over the years, can never be completely corrected.

But I will be what I've alwasy been. A woman. All woman.

Quote from: Brittani A. on January 16, 2011, 11:07:52 PM
For some reason and I have been on HRT with patches for a year and a half and still haven't been called Miss or MS just sir or nothing, preferring nothing. I am depressed since I am a caregiver and there is nothing I can do about me working + I have reumatiod arthritus and the transtioning hurts like hell. I feel great semetimes, other just want to go out. My friend is so happy I am so sad. I am lost at 56 and just wanted to say even as I grow prettier and more femine I just cannot get the masculine out of my face my damn body no matter what I do this brain is female but this body I would rather not even been born with any at all than this crappy one.
No I am not ungrateful for this life just a 56 year old sufferage who someday probably will be homeless when the person  I am caregiving dies. Oh well I guess somebody has to lose. Brittani     

Brittani:

Well, it's truly unfortunate that you have the rheumatoid arthritis.  That truly IS a bummer.  Wish I could do something to help you out with that ... really.  Sigh.

Look, Brit, you're not the only one like this.  You're 56.  I'm 55.  I've been on HRT for 1 year and 1+ months.  What has happened?  Well, I've got much softer skin and lost lots of muscle mass.  That's it.  I NEVER get called Ma'am ... and realize I probably never will.  You see my pic there under my name.  You see that I DO NOT pass ... not even close. 

Seems like quite rapidly, actually, I'm losing everybody and everything.  No, hon ... it's not just you ... believe me. 

Hey, sorry.  This probably doesn't help.  You are not alone. 

   Lacey

Sorry for the late reply but honey you are not alone I am your friend even we have not met I am sure we would get along fine as gf's and probably have a blast too. Now I have to battle another fiend- pain med addiction Vicodin . My arthritus was "cured" by this little yellow pill that started out one two three four five six --and on until my accounts are ready to close. I dont work just caregive and that month of Jan was hell like every month I run out early and go through withdrawls that are hell. Hope you are doing well and hope you can be a friend too. I need someone like you to talk to..Linda     

Your friend speaks some sage words. Other people can see and sense if you are comfortable in your own skin. Some of the most beautiful women in the world can be some of the most insecure because they question their own self worth. Inner beauty radiates through no matter how a person may look.


Gennee