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Better off dead?!

Started by Shimei Valentine, April 15, 2011, 10:33:48 PM

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Amykins

My family ran that religious bunk at me too. I challenged them to show me where in the Bible it says "Thou shalt not change thy sex." Of course they could not and they had to shut up, for the moment.

What people like that don't get is that God has an infinitely broader mind than they do, and also that in the first place they are simply projecting their narrow-minded and ignorant hang-ups and prejudices onto God in order to justify them. It's what turns so many off to religion completely.

Lots of people USE religion that way, and it really sucks that they do it. God is a LOT nicer than they are.
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annette

Hi Vinnie

Well with such parents you don't need enemies anymore.
Home looks a horrible place to be for you, but you can beat them, like Valerie said, be yourself and try to be happy.
Ignore their comments, let them live their live stucked in bible things interpreted in their own way, you live your life and pretend you don't hear those nasty comments.
Once they see it won't hurt you anymore they don't have a reason to go on with it.

But i know,  easier said than done, but please try, it's your only defence while depending on your parents.
Be strong Vinnie, don't let themget you down with silly bibletexts.
btw was there not something written in the bible that you have to love someone like you love yourself?
Maybe they have some selfhate, projecting on you.

I wish you a lot of strength

hugs
Annette
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some ftm guy

wow man, i don't even know what to say, that's the right thing to say...I've had to put up with family not getting it and not trying to call me the right pronouns or name and pretending like the whole conversation with the therapist never happened and still treating me like a girl but at least mine aren't religious. this is the reason why I'm always grateful we've never been religious because i know I'd be getting this same treatment. who the hell says that to their own kid?! maybe annette has a point with the self hate, maybe they think they failed as parents and are projecting that anger or hate at themselves to you because your trans....or are they ignorant and intolerant to anyone in the LGBT community? sorry though.

*hugs*
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annette

The problem with religion is that people want to live by a book and nobody knows who have written it.
So, nobody is responsable for what is written, looks quite easy to me, you can dictate people what to do and if it goes wrong you're not responsable.

Another thing is that it isn't written in a clear way, people are fighting for centuries for it, one say, you have to live this way coz it's written while another say, yes but you must interprete it another way.

So, it seems not that important to me, because, if it was that important it was written clearly with no way of other interpretation.

Suppose you're in courd and a  judge will give a judgement that you can interprete in many ways.
Serial killers could walk away laughing to freedom and do their crimes again for example.

I don't want to hurt people who have a strong feeling for religion but on the other hand they have no right to hurt others with their believe.
Freedom of believe means for me that you're free to believe what ever you want but you have to give others the freedom to believe otherwise or not believing at all.

Also a lot of strenght for Kalshady

hug
Annette
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justmeinoz

As a parent I have to say they plain disgust me.  You don't have to agree with your children, but you should love them unconditionally.  What they do is a seperate issue, and secondary.

What would your parents say if they saw you in a kilt?  Is it a garment for men or women?
(I know what the members of my father's Regiment would have said, and done, to the suggestion they were not men!)

Hope things can work out.
Karen.
"Don't ask me, it was on fire when I lay down on it"
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MaxAloysius

That's just terrible. They'd rather you commit one of the worst sins in the bible and be forever condemned to purgatory, than be trans, which has never been mentioned in the bible? That's not them being religious, that's them being hateful and homicidal, and using a religious text to justify it. Telling you that you should kill yourself rather than be who you are is basically intent to kill, and there are people out there who couldn't take such comments and live through it.

Stay strong dude, you don't need them, and the first chance you get you should get out asap. I'm not religious, but I believe the quote 'God save us from half the people doing God's work' is appropriate in this instance.
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straightedgechris

Ah dude I am so sorry they said that to you. It doesn't get any worse than that.

My younger brother killed himself in 1995 & it has been, needless to say, the most horrible thing ever for my family; If my parents knew your parents and could sit and talk about the unending pain that is losing a child, I guarantee your folks would change their tune.
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Dominick_81

Quote from: niamh on April 16, 2011, 04:08:21 PM
Why does it matter what he says?

It could be comforting especially coming from a priest and what he has to say about this and how Shimei Valentine comes from a christian family. I know it would be comforting to me to get a reassuring from a priest that I'm not committing a sin after my parents tell me I'm better off dead. And I take it your not christian at all with the comment? Who wouldn't want reassurance or take comfort in what a priest has to say? I just wanted to give shimei comfort in what a priest had to say about trans people after what his parents told him.

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Sarah B

#28
Hi Vinnie

Find a way so that you can live the life that you want to live, without interference that will undermine who you are.  Take care and all the best for the future.

Warm regards
Sarah B
Edit:  Somehow this post got posted here instead of elsewhere, have adjusted it accordingly
Be who you want to be.
Sarah's Story
Feb 1989 Living my life as Sarah.
Feb 1989 Legally changed my name.
Mar 1989 Started hormones.
May 1990 Three surgery letters.
Feb 1991 Surgery.
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JohnR

Quote from: Dominick_81 on April 17, 2011, 11:33:59 PM
It could be comforting especially coming from a priest and what he has to say about this and how Shimei Valentine comes from a christian family. I know it would be comforting to me to get a reassuring from a priest that I'm not committing a sin after my parents tell me I'm better off dead. And I take it your not christian at all with the comment? Who wouldn't want reassurance or take comfort in what a priest has to say? I just wanted to give shimei comfort in what a priest had to say about trans people after what his parents told him.

For every priest that tells you it isn't a sin there will be three only too willing to tell you that you will go to hell.

What happened to Matthew 7:1?
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Graylien

Although your parents don't seem like they would be open to other ideas I think there are some charities that try and help christians understand that glbt people aren't evil, I've only really heard of the Marin Foundation but you can try searching. Although what they said was absolutely awful, it's possible they might be more accepting if they learn more and realise that you being trans isn't something they need to be afraid of.
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onep1ece7

i feel for you I really do , look to friends for support. or the local lbgt community?   I do not see this as a sin...I think of the bible as a guideline of right and wrong, it is not a strict law to live by but values to live by.  and being transgendered is not wrong.  people say oh but ur changing ur body and u are supposed to leave the world the way u came in it so that is a sin, well wouldn't getting a kidney transplant or appendix removed make me change my body and then im a sinner now?  i do not think so.  so hopefully ur parents will come around, and i wish u the best of luck, u are definitely not better off dead. 
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Squirrel698

I am so sorry that you had to hear that.  My mother said the same thing to me verbatim, it sounds like. 

You know after much worry and stress I realized that I'm not better off dead.  What I am is better off without her. 

You are absolutely not a sin in fact you are beautiful in God's eyes.  Keep on going and keeping getting stronger.  You will get through this and if your family does not want to join you on this journey, it is absolutely their loss. 
"It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul"
Invictus - William Ernest Henley
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Dominick_81

Quote from: JohnR on April 18, 2011, 11:20:55 AM
For every priest that tells you it isn't a sin there will be three only too willing to tell you that you will go to hell.

What happened to Matthew 7:1?

That's not comforting to hear but I really trust this priest. He's a good man. Priest's that would tell you that you would go to hell for changing genders... I really don't know what to say to that, only that it would depress me and my life would be over.

What's Matthew 7:1?
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JohnR

Quote from: Dominick_81 on April 18, 2011, 10:07:36 PM
That's not comforting to hear but I really trust this priest. He's a good man. Priest's that would tell you that you would go to hell for changing genders... I really don't know what to say to that, only that it would depress me and my life would be over.

What's Matthew 7:1?


Dominick, priests are human beings, with all the failings and baggage that entails. Stop looking for validation from them, they are not oracles, even the nice ones.

Matthew 7:1, 'Judge not, lest you be judged.'
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straightedgechris

Quote from: JohnR on April 19, 2011, 02:20:23 AM

Dominick, priests are human beings, with all the failings and baggage that entails. Stop looking for validation from them, they are not oracles, even the nice ones.

Matthew 7:1, 'Judge not, lest you be judged.'

Agreed!!
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angiejuly

Quote from: JohnR on April 19, 2011, 02:20:23 AM

Dominick, priests are human beings, with all the failings and baggage that entails. Stop looking for validation from them, they are not oracles, even the nice ones.

Matthew 7:1, 'Judge not, lest you be judged.'
Nobody is being fed a radio frequency becon from god because of a religious background.

I have to say. This ignorance does a hell of a lot more damage than you could imagine. Brainwashed weak minds. The very negative energy and hate that has us where we are today.
People born transsexual seem to me to have for one, higher intelligance unanomously, incredible bull->-bleeped-<- meters, and for me I could not read well in school but I read the balance that surrounds us. If we had been advising people for the last 3000 years we would be living in a heavan on earth at this point with our technological capabilities. I also think we would have had cell phones ect. 100s of years ago. Borders, governments, and segragation harms us as a species.

I go deep into this in my blog.
Love you, Angie,,,
We must value ourselves to our attributes and contributions to others and environment and not our ability to aquire monitery value through means of greed and backstabbing. In this system the greedy would eat what the dogs dont want.
a blog on truth,   http://angiejuly.blogspot.com/
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Dominick_81

Quote from: JohnR on April 19, 2011, 02:20:23 AM

Dominick, priests are human beings, with all the failings and baggage that entails. Stop looking for validation from them, they are not oracles, even the nice ones.

Matthew 7:1, 'Judge not, lest you be judged.'

I agree, but I still find comfort in what a priest has to say, he's telling me what he believes. It helps me deal with this b/c he's supportive. He's telling me all this stuff, and I take comfort in that which helps me along in my transition.
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tekla

Priest's that would tell you that you would go to hell for changing genders

I can't imagine a Catholic priest telling anyone that they are going to hell.  They might tell you that you are committing a mortal sin, and placing your soul in mortal peril, least you die with it unshriven, but as any Catholic knows a heartfelt act of contrition absolves you of all sin.  And most priests don't do that 'going to hell' thing, because that decision is in god's hands, not theirs.  That kind of hubris and pride - speaking for god - that's really a protestant thing.

However, I'm really a very firm believer in this: Remember when you found out that the Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus, and the Tooth Fairy were all totally fictitious things your parents made up out of whole cloth as a way to make you behave in a certain way?  Yeah?  Well you should have rethought the entire Jesus/god deal on that day too.
FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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Devlyn

Tekla, I hope you're wrong, and I pray to God and Santa Claus that I still get a chocolate bunny on Easter!
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